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Men?!?!?!

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  • Men?!?!?!

    Okay,
    I REALLY need help on this one.

    There is a guy I have been talking to for about....a year now, and he knows im interested. But he has a girlfriend...
    EVERY time he gets the chance, it seems he wants to hit on me, and flirt like crazy.
    but he has a girlfriend...
    is it wrong of me to hit on him back?
    And then, for about a week, he will be a cold fish....and will only say a few words to me a day(mostly 2 syllables)

    Im a bigger woman, and I dont get a lot of Male attention, except from my dad.

    Any advice????
    The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
    -PostSecret

  • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
    Okay,
    I REALLY need help on this one.

    There is a guy I have been talking to for about....a year now, and he knows im interested. But he has a girlfriend...
    EVERY time he gets the chance, it seems he wants to hit on me, and flirt like crazy.
    but he has a girlfriend...
    is it wrong of me to hit on him back?
    And then, for about a week, he will be a cold fish....and will only say a few words to me a day(mostly 2 syllables)

    Im a bigger woman, and I dont get a lot of Male attention, except from my dad.

    Any advice????
    He's a naughty boy.... He loves flirting, happy probably in his relationship, accepts the attention then backs of...

    Have some fun with him, it can't hurt you " flirting that is", ..

    Flirting is good fun, just read the signs correctly...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • I do know how you feel, Sweetie, I had the same problem when living in the USA, luckily, here in Guatemala weight doesn't seem to be that big of a deal!

      Flirting is never really wrong. Many people will say that it is, but as long as you are able to stop at flirting, you'll be fine. My husband and I flirt with people in front of each other, sometimes (not on purpose, just both flirty people!). It's not cheating.

      However, if he is playing games with you, going from flirting to cold shoulder constantly you might get hurt (I did). Why don't you give him the could shoulder for a change and see what happens?

      Just remember to stop at flirting, and meet new people! Maybe you'll find a great guy who is single!

      Comment


      • soo,
        I ignored him, and wrote in my blog about another guy (who apparantly likes me...and he is really nice(we will call him Bud)), but the other guy (whom I will call....sparky)...so Sparky began to hit on me again, and stopped ignoring me...completely.
        I think he was actually jealous..... Uh, helloooo, he doesnt own me.

        It suck being bigger, because I do not get a lot of male attention. But I absolutely refuse to have sex, because I want to wait until marriage,so I know the man will appreciate me, and love my body.
        The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
        -PostSecret

        Comment


        • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
          soo,
          I ignored him, and wrote in my blog about another guy (who apparantly likes me...and he is really nice(we will call him Bud)), but the other guy (whom I will call....sparky)...so Sparky began to hit on me again, and stopped ignoring me...completely.
          I think he was actually jealous..... Uh, helloooo, he doesnt own me.

          It suck being bigger, because I do not get a lot of male attention. But I absolutely refuse to have sex, because I want to wait until marriage,so I know the man will appreciate me, and love my body.
          It's a bit like a fishing line isn't it:- "real them in - let them go - real them in. " Gee, sounds like he likes being the centre of attraction? Nooooo what? Another guy, but then he'll give you the cold shoulder if you show that you like him....

          Why does it suck being bigger? I'm tired of people saying guys don't look at women unless they are slim? What the Womans Weekly style? Who Magazine? Which are actually air brushed, and all their cellulite is stripped and varicose veins so you can't see them?

          Hate to tell you this, men like all sorts of women, the ones they like the most? Those with confidence a beautiful smile and can carry that walk.....

          Exactly.... The man whom you marry will love everything about you and that you waited for him.

          As said above a few times, know the limit, enjoy flirting and make it known that that is all it is, nothing more, nothing less.... That will get Mr Sparky back....

          Sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders, have fun.

          CW
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
            Okay,
            I REALLY need help on this one.

            There is a guy I have been talking to for about....a year now, and he knows im interested. But he has a girlfriend...
            EVERY time he gets the chance, it seems he wants to hit on me, and flirt like crazy.
            but he has a girlfriend...
            is it wrong of me to hit on him back?
            And then, for about a week, he will be a cold fish....and will only say a few words to me a day(mostly 2 syllables)

            Im a bigger woman, and I dont get a lot of Male attention, except from my dad.

            Any advice????
            I think this guy is just loving having your attention , and if he thinks you will give it , Your too good for him ...hs playing games and seeking your attention , id let him see there are other guys out there and your too busy being chased by them to be interested in him ...its not wrong to flirt a little back , hes not married or engaged ...i but i think your too good for him ...id let him see you with another guy , and you can bet he will be chasing you everywhere till you get tired of him ....

            Comment


            • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
              It's a bit like a fishing line isn't it:- "real them in - let them go - real them in. "
              lmao - hehehehehe

              Comment


              • So, i don't know really. This is one of those touchy subjects. Let me elaborate. I spent 4 miserable years with my Ex, why? i don't really have a single clue to be all honest with you, but he was extremely controlling and started to push abuse towards the end. So i met this guy at work and instantly i knew he was my true love. But for 6 months i was in love with this amazing man and still led a horrible home life. Then i finally got the guts to leave the other guys and instantly things just fell amazingly into place. We are now almost a yr into our relationship and of course we have our typical fallouts, but he is my life passion. It's almost sickly sounding, but it's true. So, maybe he really is deeply in love with you or maybe he is just playing his gf and you, and even if he left her he would do it to you. What really is his problem? I want you to succeed at love, living a life without true love is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But you have to be hurt a few times and hit a low before you can hit your highest. And i don't wanna hear any ******** about weight. I am a size 18/20. Really when it comes down to it, its personality in the end. Without personality it's not love. Everyone sees beauty a different way. Don't let your weight hold you back from anything. You will live to regret it and that will make you bitter and depressed.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Pinkstarluv View Post
                  So, i don't know really. This is one of those touchy subjects. Let me elaborate. I spent 4 miserable years with my Ex, why? i don't really have a single clue to be all honest with you, but he was extremely controlling and started to push abuse towards the end. So i met this guy at work and instantly i knew he was my true love. But for 6 months i was in love with this amazing man and still led a horrible home life. Then i finally got the guts to leave the other guys and instantly things just fell amazingly into place. We are now almost a yr into our relationship and of course we have our typical fallouts, but he is my life passion. It's almost sickly sounding, but it's true. So, maybe he really is deeply in love with you or maybe he is just playing his gf and you, and even if he left her he would do it to you. What really is his problem? I want you to succeed at love, living a life without true love is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But you have to be hurt a few times and hit a low before you can hit your highest. And i don't wanna hear any ******** about weight. I am a size 18/20. Really when it comes down to it, its personality in the end. Without personality it's not love. Everyone sees beauty a different way. Don't let your weight hold you back from anything. You will live to regret it and that will make you bitter and depressed.
                  Doesn't sound sickly to me, sounds owwwww, shucks...

                  You fell short of 3 years, mine was 7... I met lots of "cool deep men", not for me, but showed me that there are passionate men out there that respect and want love and to return it... I to walked. Spent the past 6 communicating with 21 days to go with a "very passionate" man..... whom has qualities i believe that i am definately after in a man...

                  Good for you.....

                  Yes, personality, confidence, a man doesn't know what hit him when a woman walks the walk and makes him laugh, reaching deep into her soul as i always say we are all beautiful...

                  I am slim but that's my make-up....

                  CW
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
                    Okay,
                    I REALLY need help on this one.

                    There is a guy I have been talking to for about....a year now, and he knows im interested. But he has a girlfriend...
                    EVERY time he gets the chance, it seems he wants to hit on me, and flirt like crazy.
                    but he has a girlfriend...
                    is it wrong of me to hit on him back?
                    And then, for about a week, he will be a cold fish....and will only say a few words to me a day(mostly 2 syllables)

                    Im a bigger woman, and I dont get a lot of Male attention, except from my dad.

                    Any advice????
                    Flirting is fun and often flattering. Makes a person feel good to have the attention and happy to be able to make someone smile and laugh when your giving the attention.

                    However... the way I read your post... persuing (hit on him) KNOWING he has a girlfriend is in my opinion, wrong. Flirting and hitting on are two different things.

                    If he is doing the friendly, fun, flirting with you, give what you get. Have fun with it. Understanding that its not about getting with him, its just friendly banter. If he is hitting on you to try and make something with you... well, he has a girlfriend and being a player is so not cool. Would he "flirt" with you like he does if his girlfriend were in earshot? Some people are just naturally flirty. If the answer is no especially because his flirting might be innapropriate in any way while in a realationship...be wary.

                    As an aside. Your size should not be an issue here. Especially if its just flirting and where does sex come into play with just flirting?

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Uneeklyme View Post
                      Flirting is fun and often flattering. Makes a person feel good to have the attention and happy to be able to make someone smile and laugh when your giving the attention.

                      However... the way I read your post... persuing (hit on him) KNOWING he has a girlfriend is in my opinion, wrong. Flirting and hitting on are two different things.

                      If he is doing the friendly, fun, flirting with you, give what you get. Have fun with it. Understanding that its not about getting with him, its just friendly banter. If he is hitting on you to try and make something with you... well, he has a girlfriend and being a player is so not cool. Would he "flirt" with you like he does if his girlfriend were in earshot? Some people are just naturally flirty. If the answer is no especially because his flirting might be innapropriate in any way while in a realationship...be wary.

                      As an aside. Your size should not be an issue here. Especially if its just flirting and where does sex come into play with just flirting?

                      What's with the "lonely" in a woman, the "non male attention" so i'll get it where i can...

                      It seems to be a "natural", and the reason women do things that they would normally not do, either they are so lonely and need, or non attention so need. They need...

                      Correct however, there is a fine line..... Reverse the situation ..... He is your guy and a woman is communicating with him via internet on-going, flirting, doesn't matter that she's a Virgin, your not going to believe that and all hell breaks lose.

                      Perhaps you need to "flirt" with lots of "new single guys" on the net under an identity, no photo if you want... RSVP, dating site, for instance.

                      But at the same time, i agree be wary, be careful, don't let the lonliness hand out your phone number or email address to then get bombarded with " i want you", and get hurt.

                      Flirting does assist confidence, that in itself can be very good for you to gain more "male attention"...

                      So why not go in with a different approach - forget this friend, guess i'll take that back now, lol, and treat him as a "friend" and start a flirt fest on a site and have loads of fun, just fun and gain that " i can do " approach....

                      Good point Uneeklyme...

                      CW
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                      Comment


                      • Ahhhh

                        Where I come from, its a very small town, and most of the girls are TINY...pretty much anorexic. So, I've grown up with skinny being the norm...and it doesnt help that EVERYWHERE I go, people say I need to lose weight...even my close family.
                        I havent dated since....grade 8....I've been out of school now for a year...and sometimes, when my friends are having a "date" party sort of thing...I feel so left out.

                        I didnt talk to Sparky last night...at all. And nope...he wont flirt with me if his girlfriend is in earshot...then he gets all..."oh my girl and I...BLAH BLAH BLAH"
                        Its seems that I have a LOT of guys interested, but they wont tell their friends. One guy even told me he didnt want to ruin his "reputation".

                        thats hard to get over...There is so much "wrong" with being big where I live....everyone thinks Im unhealthy...and the truth is I could out-run them all. (NOT one word of a lie)
                        The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
                        -PostSecret

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
                          Where I come from, its a very small town, and most of the girls are TINY...pretty much anorexic. So, I've grown up with skinny being the norm...and it doesnt help that EVERYWHERE I go, people say I need to lose weight...even my close family.
                          I havent dated since....grade 8....I've been out of school now for a year...and sometimes, when my friends are having a "date" party sort of thing...I feel so left out.

                          I didnt talk to Sparky last night...at all. And nope...he wont flirt with me if his girlfriend is in earshot...then he gets all..."oh my girl and I...BLAH BLAH BLAH"
                          Its seems that I have a LOT of guys interested, but they wont tell their friends. One guy even told me he didnt want to ruin his "reputation".

                          thats hard to get over...There is so much "wrong" with being big where I live....everyone thinks Im unhealthy...and the truth is I could out-run them all. (NOT one word of a lie)

                          Well honestly "welcome to America" I have fought weight my whole life and suffered heavily from bullies. The only attraction i got from guys were people i looked down on. It's sad but true. But when i turned 16 i dropped weight and went crazy, finally had random guys that didn't have to see my personality to want to hit on me and would you believe every single one of them only cared about sex. That's it. Then i gained it all back. But i had no self respect whatsoever. I know what it's like and it hurts, it hurts so bad to think that someone isn't attracted to you because you are heavier. Trust me it hurts me still. I hate being the size i am. It hurts my relationship too, a lot. I don't want you to think that being thinner is amazing, you just get taken advantage of if you don't know any better. I did not, i do now and live in regret every day. This guy is bad news and i seriously suggest just being no more then friends with him. In the end you will only end of getting hurt. He's a straight up player and i'm sure his GF would be devastated if she knew. How would you feel if you found yourself in her shoes? I would crumble.

                          If you would like we can chat and i would love to listen to anything you have to vent about. I'm not amazing but i can only give you my point of view. My info should be in my profile. I honestly believe he is playing off of your vulnerability, or so he thinks.

                          Trust me when i say love will totally bite you in the ******.

                          Comment


                          • .

                            well, I havent said a word to him in....2 and a half days now....no texting, or MSN, or anything....and he still wont talk to me.

                            ...WHY are men SO confusing??? I seriously ask everyone out there as a 19 year old with very little experience. Will I ever find my Mr.Right?
                            All I want to do is be a housewife, and have kids (I know, it sounds ************, but its a dream of mine).

                            AHHHHHHHHHHH.
                            The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
                            -PostSecret

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by acerousme View Post
                              well, I havent said a word to him in....2 and a half days now....no texting, or MSN, or anything....and he still wont talk to me.

                              ...WHY are men SO confusing??? I seriously ask everyone out there as a 19 year old with very little experience. Will I ever find my Mr.Right?
                              All I want to do is be a housewife, and have kids (I know, it sounds ************, but its a dream of mine).

                              AHHHHHHHHHHH.
                              "When you not seeking it seems to seek you"...

                              19? You should be enjoying your life as well, and let it come to you.

                              Unfortunately i think you said, your in a small town so you probably need to get out a bit more as well, mingle and mix.

                              As for him not talking to you: GOOD.. He has a girlfriend.....

                              You will be a housewife with tons of kids running between your feet driving you mad, whilst your trying to cook for your husband, and then feed them at the same time, oh and then the cat will be climbing your leg asking for milk and at the same time the telephone will ring "do you have an extra pair of hands"... (Smile)...

                              All good things comes to those that wait... It will happen.

                              CW
                              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                              Comment

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