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  • CHANDLERS WISH
    • Mar 2008
    • 22440

    Originally posted by Uneeklyme
    Flirting is fun and often flattering. Makes a person feel good to have the attention and happy to be able to make someone smile and laugh when your giving the attention.

    However... the way I read your post... persuing (hit on him) KNOWING he has a girlfriend is in my opinion, wrong. Flirting and hitting on are two different things.

    If he is doing the friendly, fun, flirting with you, give what you get. Have fun with it. Understanding that its not about getting with him, its just friendly banter. If he is hitting on you to try and make something with you... well, he has a girlfriend and being a player is so not cool. Would he "flirt" with you like he does if his girlfriend were in earshot? Some people are just naturally flirty. If the answer is no especially because his flirting might be innapropriate in any way while in a realationship...be wary.

    As an aside. Your size should not be an issue here. Especially if its just flirting and where does sex come into play with just flirting?

    What's with the "lonely" in a woman, the "non male attention" so i'll get it where i can...

    It seems to be a "natural", and the reason women do things that they would normally not do, either they are so lonely and need, or non attention so need. They need...

    Correct however, there is a fine line..... Reverse the situation ..... He is your guy and a woman is communicating with him via internet on-going, flirting, doesn't matter that she's a Virgin, your not going to believe that and all hell breaks lose.

    Perhaps you need to "flirt" with lots of "new single guys" on the net under an identity, no photo if you want... RSVP, dating site, for instance.

    But at the same time, i agree be wary, be careful, don't let the lonliness hand out your phone number or email address to then get bombarded with " i want you", and get hurt.

    Flirting does assist confidence, that in itself can be very good for you to gain more "male attention"...

    So why not go in with a different approach - forget this friend, guess i'll take that back now, lol, and treat him as a "friend" and start a flirt fest on a site and have loads of fun, just fun and gain that " i can do " approach....

    Good point Uneeklyme...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment

    • acerousme
      Veteran Member
      • May 2008
      • 1397

      Ahhhh

      Where I come from, its a very small town, and most of the girls are TINY...pretty much anorexic. So, I've grown up with skinny being the norm...and it doesnt help that EVERYWHERE I go, people say I need to lose weight...even my close family.
      I havent dated since....grade 8....I've been out of school now for a year...and sometimes, when my friends are having a "date" party sort of thing...I feel so left out.

      I didnt talk to Sparky last night...at all. And nope...he wont flirt with me if his girlfriend is in earshot...then he gets all..."oh my girl and I...BLAH BLAH BLAH"
      Its seems that I have a LOT of guys interested, but they wont tell their friends. One guy even told me he didnt want to ruin his "reputation".

      thats hard to get over...There is so much "wrong" with being big where I live....everyone thinks Im unhealthy...and the truth is I could out-run them all. (NOT one word of a lie)

      Comment

      • Pinkstarluv
        Member
        • May 2008
        • 10

        Originally posted by acerousme
        Where I come from, its a very small town, and most of the girls are TINY...pretty much anorexic. So, I've grown up with skinny being the norm...and it doesnt help that EVERYWHERE I go, people say I need to lose weight...even my close family.
        I havent dated since....grade 8....I've been out of school now for a year...and sometimes, when my friends are having a "date" party sort of thing...I feel so left out.

        I didnt talk to Sparky last night...at all. And nope...he wont flirt with me if his girlfriend is in earshot...then he gets all..."oh my girl and I...BLAH BLAH BLAH"
        Its seems that I have a LOT of guys interested, but they wont tell their friends. One guy even told me he didnt want to ruin his "reputation".

        thats hard to get over...There is so much "wrong" with being big where I live....everyone thinks Im unhealthy...and the truth is I could out-run them all. (NOT one word of a lie)

        Well honestly "welcome to America" I have fought weight my whole life and suffered heavily from bullies. The only attraction i got from guys were people i looked down on. It's sad but true. But when i turned 16 i dropped weight and went crazy, finally had random guys that didn't have to see my personality to want to hit on me and would you believe every single one of them only cared about sex. That's it. Then i gained it all back. But i had no self respect whatsoever. I know what it's like and it hurts, it hurts so bad to think that someone isn't attracted to you because you are heavier. Trust me it hurts me still. I hate being the size i am. It hurts my relationship too, a lot. I don't want you to think that being thinner is amazing, you just get taken advantage of if you don't know any better. I did not, i do now and live in regret every day. This guy is bad news and i seriously suggest just being no more then friends with him. In the end you will only end of getting hurt. He's a straight up player and i'm sure his GF would be devastated if she knew. How would you feel if you found yourself in her shoes? I would crumble.

        If you would like we can chat and i would love to listen to anything you have to vent about. I'm not amazing but i can only give you my point of view. My info should be in my profile. I honestly believe he is playing off of your vulnerability, or so he thinks.

        Trust me when i say love will totally bite you in the ***.

        Comment

        • acerousme
          Veteran Member
          • May 2008
          • 1397

          .

          well, I havent said a word to him in....2 and a half days now....no texting, or MSN, or anything....and he still wont talk to me.

          ...WHY are men SO confusing??? I seriously ask everyone out there as a 19 year old with very little experience. Will I ever find my Mr.Right?
          All I want to do is be a housewife, and have kids (I know, it sounds ******, but its a dream of mine).

          AHHHHHHHHHHH.

          Comment

          • CHANDLERS WISH
            • Mar 2008
            • 22440

            Originally posted by acerousme
            well, I havent said a word to him in....2 and a half days now....no texting, or MSN, or anything....and he still wont talk to me.

            ...WHY are men SO confusing??? I seriously ask everyone out there as a 19 year old with very little experience. Will I ever find my Mr.Right?
            All I want to do is be a housewife, and have kids (I know, it sounds ******, but its a dream of mine).

            AHHHHHHHHHHH.
            "When you not seeking it seems to seek you"...

            19? You should be enjoying your life as well, and let it come to you.

            Unfortunately i think you said, your in a small town so you probably need to get out a bit more as well, mingle and mix.

            As for him not talking to you: GOOD.. He has a girlfriend.....

            You will be a housewife with tons of kids running between your feet driving you mad, whilst your trying to cook for your husband, and then feed them at the same time, oh and then the cat will be climbing your leg asking for milk and at the same time the telephone will ring "do you have an extra pair of hands"... (Smile)...

            All good things comes to those that wait... It will happen.

            CW
            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

            Comment

            • anonymouswhitefemale
              Veteran Member
              • Sep 2007
              • 1343

              Originally posted by acerousme
              well, I havent said a word to him in....2 and a half days now....no texting, or MSN, or anything....and he still wont talk to me.

              ...WHY are men SO confusing??? I seriously ask everyone out there as a 19 year old with very little experience. Will I ever find my Mr.Right?
              All I want to do is be a housewife, and have kids (I know, it sounds ******, but its a dream of mine).

              AHHHHHHHHHHH.
              Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I wouldn't get with a woman who just wanted to settle down, get married and have children. Not only does it show a remarkable lack of aspiration on your part, it also means that any relationship you get into will be all about how serious you can make it how fast.

              You'll have a lot more chance of getting in a meaningful relationship if you just live your life, have your own hobbies, and generally just get on with it. No man wants a ball and chain, especially at the age of 19...

              Comment

              • CHANDLERS WISH
                • Mar 2008
                • 22440

                Originally posted by anonymouswhitefemale
                Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I wouldn't get with a woman who just wanted to settle down, get married and have children. Not only does it show a remarkable lack of aspiration on your part, it also means that any relationship you get into will be all about how serious you can make it how fast.

                You'll have a lot more chance of getting in a meaningful relationship if you just live your life, have your own hobbies, and generally just get on with it. No man wants a ball and chain, especially at the age of 19...
                That's a fair call hun... See how i described your married life? At your age?

                I think men like women whom can stand of their own two feet, be a bit well, allusive, have their own life, combine his with hers, if you tell this to the next man you meet? I want to be married and have babies, he may run a mile!

                Your a beautiful being, concentrate on you, who you are, and let it all fall into place when the time is right..

                Love life, yourself and be....

                As i said, he will turn up....

                CW
                PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                Comment

                • acerousme
                  Veteran Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 1397

                  well I dont want to just get married RIGHT now.
                  I have things I do want to do first...and go to College is one of them.
                  I guess I should have told you all that from a very young age, I was put in "charge" of taking care of my 2 neices...they even began to call me mom at one point in time.
                  Their mom was pretty addicted to drugs, and STILL cares about only herself...so that sucks...
                  so I want them to have a good life.
                  They live with their mom...but they're here most of the time.

                  Comment

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