The roles of each of us in dating have become so confusing. I think naturally, men and women pursue, or be pursued, in different ways. It seems like my girlfriend will go out with anyone that asks, even though she voices (to me) concern about a major thing, like still being married.
I think we have loosened our standards due to the rarity of finding a person that actually comes close to meeting our ideal standards. For me, recently separated is married, and a no-go. Even a recently divorced man is questionable for me.
I can't tell you the numbers of men who say they are very interested in getting to know me, say all these nice things after a meeting, or after chatting awhile, then ghost out almost immediately after the conversation. I'm not sure if they are just flakes to begin with, or if my lackluster response to their "revelation" left them scratching their heads. I get the sense they are expecting me to invite them over, or be swept off my feet by this. My response is something along the lines of, I'd like to continue getting to know you too, when can we meet/meet again?
I think the flake factor is high.
Have we so disconnected from each other that we cannot be genuine any more? Immediate gratification of any desire we have, has left us impatient and incapable of understanding each other and wanting to connect more deeply with another person?
I think that's left me very skeptical as to what the intent of anyone I talk to really is, and if they really mean what they say.
The guy I'm talking to now, travels for a living and doesn't always know where he'll be day to day. I have no idea what to expect when he's not in town, and messages have been sparse, but he told me his estimated time back and made plans to meet the following day. That's really all I needed. The messages that trickle in are great...he's working so I don't expect a constant connection.
Yet, in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if he's gonna ghost out like others. I have a sense he won't do that, but...my gut has been wrong on this before.
I also know that the nature of his job could keep him from arriving back as expected.
This is the sort of jaded, in my mind, that makes me wonder if I will now be untrusting in a relationship. Wondering if any man genuinely wants to build something lasting and stable. And how has this changed my approach? I'm naturally pretty trusting, but I feel different now. I think once I am with that man that I have peace with, it'll fall into place, and I won't have issues.
For others, like my friends, I really think some will struggle with that transition even more.
Is it just us? Are other men and women having the same experiences?
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