[jns]

Great news, kitty!

[atskitty2]

And they've already bumped up the position they are asking me to fill in for, so I'm optimistic this will lead to a permanent offer, fingers crossed. It's a pay cut, of about half, but the potential is there. We'll see where it leads.

Another update: I met this gentleman in his hotel lobby, and we went to dinner and coffee last night. No mention of taking me upstairs. Still just a hug hello and good night.
The texting got a bit flirty afterwards, but nothing crazy.

[Ashlee T.]

This sounds great. IMO, this is what new dating SHOULD be like.

[Popcorn&Candy]

I agree with Beautiful Disaster. He could just be a slow mover and wants to show you respect. You're not in a hurry? Anyhow, even if you only became friends, it is still something. I'd just enjoy getting to know him and you can always keep your options open. There is nothing to stop you dating other men.

[Texasred]

And they've already bumped up the position they are asking me to fill in for, so I'm optimistic this will lead to a permanent offer, fingers crossed. It's a pay cut, of about half, but the potential is there. We'll see where it leads.

Another update: I met this gentleman in his hotel lobby, and we went to dinner and coffee last night. No mention of taking me upstairs. Still just a hug hello and good night.
The texting got a bit flirty afterwards, but nothing crazy.

Sounds like he might in fact *be* a "gentleman." Good for you!

[atskitty2]

I think watching my friends in their dating and relationship habits, and trying to manage mine in a different way has helped me over the years. Learning from my own, and others, mistakes.

The roles of each of us in dating have become so confusing. I think naturally, men and women pursue, or be pursued, in different ways. It seems like my girlfriend will go out with anyone that asks, even though she voices (to me) concern about a major thing, like still being married.
I think we have loosened our standards due to the rarity of finding a person that actually comes close to meeting our ideal standards. For me, recently separated is married, and a no-go. Even a recently divorced man is questionable for me.

I can't tell you the numbers of men who say they are very interested in getting to know me, say all these nice things after a meeting, or after chatting awhile, then ghost out almost immediately after the conversation. I'm not sure if they are just flakes to begin with, or if my lackluster response to their "revelation" left them scratching their heads. I get the sense they are expecting me to invite them over, or be swept off my feet by this. My response is something along the lines of, I'd like to continue getting to know you too, when can we meet/meet again?
I think the flake factor is high.

Have we so disconnected from each other that we cannot be genuine any more? Immediate gratification of any desire we have, has left us impatient and incapable of understanding each other and wanting to connect more deeply with another person?
I think that's left me very skeptical as to what the intent of anyone I talk to really is, and if they really mean what they say.

The guy I'm talking to now, travels for a living and doesn't always know where he'll be day to day. I have no idea what to expect when he's not in town, and messages have been sparse, but he told me his estimated time back and made plans to meet the following day. That's really all I needed. The messages that trickle in are great...he's working so I don't expect a constant connection.
Yet, in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if he's gonna ghost out like others. I have a sense he won't do that, but...my gut has been wrong on this before.
I also know that the nature of his job could keep him from arriving back as expected.

This is the sort of jaded, in my mind, that makes me wonder if I will now be untrusting in a relationship. Wondering if any man genuinely wants to build something lasting and stable. And how has this changed my approach? I'm naturally pretty trusting, but I feel different now. I think once I am with that man that I have peace with, it'll fall into place, and I won't have issues.
For others, like my friends, I really think some will struggle with that transition even more.

Is it just us? Are other men and women having the same experiences?

[Popcorn&Candy]

I must say, I enjoy getting to know a man and am never in a hurry. I think this is because I like an emotional connection, rather than a physical one. I do enjoy the company of men: they can be great conversationalists and very witty. Personality is important to me and I suppose that is why I get to know the man first. But I do see where you're coming from: it is nice and soul affirming to have him come onto you, and when he doesn't, you need to tell him you want more. There is only so much waiting a person can do. You yourself could come onto him and just show him what you want. He'll be so flattered and happy. This is the 21st century and women are allowed to make the first move!

[atskitty2]

I decided against coming onto him. Just didn't seem to be the right thing in this case. I considered it, and thought of what I knew of him so far, and decided it was the wrong move.

But I did talk to him about it. I asked if he was interested in a possible romantic relationship with me, or just friendship, as I'm accustomed to a man inviting himself into my bed by now. He said he wants a serious relationship, not based on the physical. He said he has a hard time putting the brakes on once he gets started, and he just wants to go slow and not make that the focus.
I told him it's odd that he hadn't even kissed me though...he seemed to know that. I told him I completely agree and respect it, and I'll let him set the pace, follow his lead.

Later that night, he surprised me with a sly peck on the lips...sort of sneaky. Lol
My sense of humor got the best of me and I think I embarrassed him a little...but I had to lighten the mood. We laughed and that was that.

I don't get to see him much. He travels a lot, but I thoroughly enjoy him when we are able to get together. Haven't had such an enjoyable time in I don't remember when, where a man is concerned. I think he is genuinely interested and I've developed a respect for him that I've not had for any man in a long time.
Fingers crossed for this one.

[a_dub]

Best of lucky Kitty. Excited to hear how this goes!

[amy40]

I started talking to a man a couple weeks ago.

it's only been about a month; the relationship is still young
I think it's good he wants to get to know you and that he seems genuinely interested in you

don't you think this is how a new relationship should actually be?