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A girl, a moped... and a can of asparagus

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  • A girl, a moped... and a can of asparagus

    Hey all

    Long story short, yesterday I was in the supermarket when I was this SUPER sexy girl walking in my direction down the isle... So I did what any self respecting man with enlarged testicles would do and approached her.


    Rapid: "Hey, I had to come over and let you know I that I really like your hair."
    Girl: "Thanks "
    Rapid" "It makes your head look normal "

    She was even more beautiful from close up. Her jaw dropped and she playfully slapped me.

    ANYWAY long story short, we end up deciding to go a kind of instant date since were were both intending on only going home afterwards. She offers to drive... MAN that was a mistake...

    We get to where she is parked... and he has on of those mopeds. O well. Could be fun....

    It wasn't. There was a can of asparagus or something poking me in the from under my seat as she was driving at 2km/h.

    After running over 15 elderly people, doing dukes of hazzard type stunts to evade the cops (meanwhile this can of asparagus is only becoming more deeply wedged in my crack) and 15 minutes later, we get to this nice little cafe down some little alley way in the city (melbourne) and go inside.


    ... THIS GIRL IS WEIRD... The cafe is FULL of gothic people... now I know why they are all so angry at the world. They drive mopeds, have porcupine looking haircuts and most importantly, have cans of asparagus in their .

    SO I deal with the atmosphere. It's still better than going to a gay bar and getting offers from every guy and his dog. ANYWAY we are chatting and after a while she brings up what I said to her at the supermarket... I tell her that I said it to get her thinking in the moment and she smiles and we just look in each others eyes and then she looks away.

    After abit more chat and finding out that she is studying fine arts, I told her that I need to get going "to floss my cat"... We laugh... She gives me her number and we head back to her moped and that dreaded can of asparagus.

    I get back to the supermarket, kiss her on the lips goodbye and she says that she want's to see me sometime this week. I can't cos I'm busy till the weekend so we arrange a meet for friday night.

    ANYWAY, I call her today to say hey... and this is what I found REALLLY amussing. She invited me over to try this dish she has perfected... and you know what with? Yep.... Asparagus....

    Thoughts of where that can had been start flashing through my head. I burst out laughing and she gets kinda angry thinking that I'm laughing AT her and starts trying to give me a lecture that if I want to come to her place then I have to be respectful and not laugh at the fact that she cooks.... or something weird like that... I told her I gotta go... and hung up... She blew her chances with me, she may be good looking but she is PSYCHO!

    So my question is... WHY are girls always so sensitive about their cooking? (mabe its just when it comes to asparagus)

    Its just interesting 'cos in the past I've seen similar occurences with guys and girls where if the guy mentions the SLIGHTEST thing negative about a girls cooking. She goes ABSOLUTELY mental as opossed to taking it constructively.

    Appriciate your help
    Rapid


    Known by all for his rugged good looks, irresistable charm and GREATEST of all... His incredible MODESTY

  • well i'm sure she thought you were laughing at her instead of at the humor of your close encounter with the can of asparagus. I'm sure had you explained the situation in a funny manor such as "oh would that be the same can i sat on yesterday that was shoved up my butt basically"

    she stated she perfected something and you laughed.... maybe she thought you were rude or you thought it was a joke that she could have possibly perfected something.

    You were rude she offered you a nice home cooked meal and you laughed if off in her opinion and you hung up on her...... have women treated you that badly that you have no manners. I thought you were being proactive and learning the art of flirting via some website. Have you not got to the chapters on manners???

    maybe you should dig your head out of your butt and explain it to her.

    If i'd been the girl i would have thought it was hilarious about the can of asparagus and the thought of you sitting on it lol.

    good luck!!

    Comment


    • Rapid... sorry, bro. I've gotta agree with Joy on this one. You're the one that screwed up by laughing at her and not explaining why you were laughing.

      Other than that, it was a funny story!

      And, Joy. Rapid is one of the best operators Down Under today. But, like you, he's human and is prone to mistakes.

      OG
      Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting!

      Comment


      • Rapid, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. What a sense of humor and obviously got you an immediate date.

        It seems she "got" your sense of humor as she kept laughing with you.

        But um, I agree she was making something she thought she had "perfected" and was obviously feeling really good about herself, visualising the whole scenario and then you laughed.

        Her response was "respect me", as she saw a warning sign of someone not acting like a Gentleman accepting the date/challenge of asparagus, nothing to do with her cooking per say, rather she was excited at the whole idea and you blue it.

        Personally, if I was you, I'd not look at this as "she was phys co" going off so you hung up.

        I'd look at it as you were "not a gentleman" and should have attended then laughed at the joke with her, or made a joke.. I think she threw you so your defense was "hang up". But that is also rude to a woman...

        Now be an Australian Gentleman... haha. And get back on that phone and tell her why you laughed and that she threw you... Even if you never see her again, it's good Karma...

        Might have something else "bite you in the bum" otherwise.

        CW
        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

        Comment


        • OG612 I thought the story was absolutly hilarious and meant no harshness towards Rapid. I thought her reaction was obvious being on the outside of the situation. That she was not pyscho just hurt by the laughter and no understanding as to why and he did add insult to injury by hanging up!!!

          i just showed him the other side he now can 1 call and apologize or 2 have a great pick up story gone wrong about super market, a moped, and a can of veggies!!!

          next time i'm sure he will remember his manners lol

          Comment


          • Rapid, I don't think you meant any harshness toward the beautiful but weird chick. I think your sense of humor was a little quick for her. Maybe you should have toned down your wit just a hair.

            Also, remember, the objective isn't to blow off a woman, it's to HAVE one for dates, sleeping together, having sex, procreating, etc.

            Cheers to your funny story!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Joy View Post
              OG612 I thought the story was absolutly hilarious and meant no harshness towards Rapid. I thought her reaction was obvious being on the outside of the situation. That she was not pyscho just hurt by the laughter and no understanding as to why and he did add insult to injury by hanging up!!!

              i just showed him the other side he now can 1 call and apologize or 2 have a great pick up story gone wrong about super market, a moped, and a can of veggies!!!

              next time i'm sure he will remember his manners lol
              Yikes! Look at all them exclamation points!!!

              I wasn't sure how you had interpreted Rapid's account and threw out that last little bit for whatever reason. Clarification maybe? I don't know. Anyways, I'm sure you knew my intentions weren't to offend and I do apologize if I did. And, please, call me OG. I can't have a screen name shorter than three characters so I just added my area code to make it fit.

              OG
              Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting!

              Comment


              • UH OH... Bad move OG... All these lovely ladies are now going to be riding around your area with binoculars claiming they are looking for their lost shoe...
                Rapid


                Known by all for his rugged good looks, irresistable charm and GREATEST of all... His incredible MODESTY

                Comment


                • You know Rapid, I'm not going to ask your age, that's rude, your a fellow Australian..haha.

                  But, I am going to say that those sites on "dating tips" "how to seduce a woman" etc, etc, read them... The moment i was single.. Why? So I know what type of guys to avoid.

                  Who?

                  Those who try the eye contact, tell me that my dress looks nice, (ahh horrid choice but I won't tell her), smile, move closer in, in conversation look attentive, ( ooooh getting her now, look she moved in as well).

                  Truthfully, there is some good points there and there are some serious "bad" points.

                  One thing women do want is "RESPECT" Stop... You go about doing your thing and then sorry babe, it's not you it's me, (not that I am saying you do) but that's what they teach on these sites, and the one ( i deleted) sorry no advertising... but honestly, I think their great for "confidence building" but that's it, confidence building to learn how to speak to someone which you've come up with some good ones and advice here.

                  Just understand from a Woman's point of view, Respect is still in our blood like the olden days, now:-

                  GO MAKE THAT PHONE CALL AND BE NICE.
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
                    Why? So I know what type of guys to avoid.

                    Who?

                    Those who try the eye contact, tell me that my dress looks nice, (ahh horrid choice but I won't tell her), smile, move closer in, in conversation look attentive, ( ooooh getting her now, look she moved in as well).
                    Attempt to ignore the post hi-jack but:

                    You are really missing a lot of interesting, fun and smart guys by avoiding them. A prejudice against something for no reason is one thing, but a prejudice against something that is misunderstood is another story entirely.

                    Observe for a minute, that everyone in life walks. Take a single person, female or male, who goes out and about their normal routine, groceries on monday, yoga on tues/thurs etc. This is a normal functioning person, their apartment is slightly messy from every-day things, dishes in the drying rack etc. Maybe they like to read murder mysteries and rarely watch TV on the ground that they would rather get out of the house and socialize. Now throw on top an ability to read a persons body language; now they understand that the way you are facing someone while talking to them will end or continue a conversation. Then take some stories from their life and allow them to make them humerous and interesting, something that is better than "I went to the grocery store, met a girl, went for coffee. We didn't work out because she likes Asparagus". Throw some twists and turns in the story and you start laughing and want to read it all.

                    Then take this same person and put them in 2 different atmospheres: Friends and Acquaintances.
                    When they are with their friends, they have a certain set of moral values and standards which must be upheld. But when they are meeting someone for the first time, they can relax these same values because they do not want to offend others. But instead they take up different values which are to "Leave the person better off than when you found them."


                    I will let you think about it and ask yourself:
                    Do you really want to avoid this kind of person?

                    Comment


                    • Devo, no offense, broseph, but... there's more to this situation currently going on than meets the eye.

                      OG
                      Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 08-13-2008, 04:23 PM.
                      Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting!

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Devo View Post
                        But instead they take up different values which are to "Leave the person better off than when you found them."
                        I fail to see how he left that girl better off than when he found her. She was left highly insulted and unceremoniously hung-up on.

                        Though, yeah, I don't think Rapid offended on purpose. But while he was so shocked about her getting offended thinking he was insulting her cooking, it was a bit hypocritical to immediately think she was a pyscho and hang up.
                        Well some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I can not disagree. But I never learned nothing from playing it safe; I say fate should not tempt me. I take my chances.

                        Comment


                        • I think the discrepancy here is that women are very aware when men are being fake and unnatural and forcing their comments and attitudes. There seems to be a lot of discussion about a guy being interesting and having interesting stories to tell. For one, what is interesting to one woman, may seem really asinine to another. 2nd if a guy is really just uninteresting, there is probably some dull girl out there who is perfect for him! I understand that it can be very intimidating to meet and speak with a woman, but take it from the many various female comments that have been made... Just come up to us and say hello, just take a chance. We will have more respect and admiration and interest in you for giving us a polite, friendly introduction than if you try to use some out of character gesture or pick up line.
                          "to thine own self be true" - WS

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by rachel77 View Post
                            I think the discrepancy here is that women are very aware when men are being fake and unnatural and forcing their comments and attitudes. There seems to be a lot of discussion about a guy being interesting and having interesting stories to tell. For one, what is interesting to one woman, may seem really asinine to another. 2nd if a guy is really just uninteresting, there is probably some dull girl out there who is perfect for him! I understand that it can be very intimidating to meet and speak with a woman, but take it from the many various female comments that have been made... Just come up to us and say hello, just take a chance. We will have more respect and admiration and interest in you for giving us a polite, friendly introduction than if you try to use some out of character gesture or pick up line.
                            Word, Rachel.
                            Well some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I can not disagree. But I never learned nothing from playing it safe; I say fate should not tempt me. I take my chances.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Devo View Post
                              Attempt to ignore the post hi-jack but:

                              You are really missing a lot of interesting, fun and smart guys by avoiding them. A prejudice against something for no reason is one thing, but a prejudice against something that is misunderstood is another story entirely.

                              Observe for a minute, that everyone in life walks. Take a single person, female or male, who goes out and about their normal routine, groceries on monday, yoga on tues/thurs etc. This is a normal functioning person, their apartment is slightly messy from every-day things, dishes in the drying rack etc. Maybe they like to read murder mysteries and rarely watch TV on the ground that they would rather get out of the house and socialize. Now throw on top an ability to read a persons body language; now they understand that the way you are facing someone while talking to them will end or continue a conversation. Then take some stories from their life and allow them to make them humerous and interesting, something that is better than "I went to the grocery store, met a girl, went for coffee. We didn't work out because she likes Asparagus". Throw some twists and turns in the story and you start laughing and want to read it all.

                              Then take this same person and put them in 2 different atmospheres: Friends and Acquaintances.
                              When they are with their friends, they have a certain set of moral values and standards which must be upheld. But when they are meeting someone for the first time, they can relax these same values because they do not want to offend others. But instead they take up different values which are to Leave the person better off than when you found them
                              I will let you think about it and ask yourself:
                              Do you really want to avoid this kind of person?

                              Devo, hi-jacking a thread is to completely go of the topic and not referencing to the topic in hand...

                              ChandlersWish
                              Just understand from a Woman's point of view, Respect is still in our blood like the olden days, now:-

                              GO MAKE THAT PHONE CALL AND BE NICE.
                              It's more than evident, I was pointing out that no matter what you learn in reference to dating, always remember the above quotation... Non hi-jacked thread....

                              Devo
                              Leave the person better off than when you found them
                              Consequently showing no respect, or agreeing that a phone call of explanation is the respectful thing to do in this case, "leaving the person better off than when you found them" does not apply. He has left the girl wondering, with hurt feelings and probably thinks he's a jerk for doing sol.

                              Sorry Rapid I know your not a jerk.

                              CW
                              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                              Comment

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