[Bluey]

my bf recently dumped but hes now wanting me back as he says hes realised hes made a mistake

i said no to begin with coz of his moods and hes always saying it over however he says that coz hes lost me n realises wot hes lost hes gonna change. my 2 mates have said tht he has started changin but i dunno whether 2 take him back coz he might suddenly change back again.

i do love him but im so confused can ne1 help me?


also another problem is my family hates him n desperatly dont want me back with him but i still love him despite tht ne advice?

[Guest]

there's no rush. tell him you'll see how it goes, and then see how he behaves. kinda also depends on how you 2 broke up and why. regardless, dont hurry...

[Bluey]

he broke up with me 4 no reason really it was only coz i was late 2 c him really altho i had told him wot was happenin n y i wud b late.

thank u 4 ur advice

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So fill us in a bit more... Why do your family not like him..

And, when you say "moods" and will he change, do you mean he gets made when you are late? Does he ask where you are all the time? Is he controlling?

"You can't change someone", they need to want to change and if it's a controlling issue and anger over you being late, it will happen again...

You either have to stand tall and tell him to "stop it" if he says it, or if you can't handle it on-going then he's not right for you.

CW

[happy ending]

should you take him back ummmmm HELLL NO!!! has he discovered the grass wasnt greener, and he wants you back, tell him to get lost, he wont change - probably get worse if he thinks he can get away with it.

[withered_rose]

I agree with Happy_ending I dont think you should take him back if he is willing to throw away what you guys had to begin with over you being late its not worth the effort. You can do better.

[Bluey]

my family hate him coz they dont trust him n think hes gonna b a bum, hardly work n spend all our money on himself. they also think i change round him n im not so outgoing n crazy like i normally am i kinda go in my shell i think they mean

his moods changes like a light switch n hes 4eva tellin me hes gonna dump me or its over in an arguement n it can b over t slightest thing like me wantin 2 spend time with a friend. wen wev made plans they always have 2 b his way or t high way if summit crops up he gets all angry over it even if it dont really affect our plans. hes never happy wiv jst spending half hour with me it has 2 b t whole evenin or day or hel storm off

he says t whole thing wiv sayin ur dumped in an arguement is jst his way instead off sayin f off but it hurts more than sum1 sayin f off

thank u all 4 replyin

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet... I am so sorry, this guy has been bouncing you from side to side you don't know your left to your right do you?


Let's look at this:_

He is spending "your money".... all on himself.. "Thanks luv"

"He tells you he is going to dump you" - "control - she won't leave me know, no, no please what's wrong with me? Don't dump me.... He gets the money and what ever else he wants.

"He doesn't like you to be with anyone - only him - only when he wants" Let's control her... Remember where I wrote that bit?

"You make plans but it has to be what he wants" - controlling my way or forget it.

"He won't settle for 30 minutes - it's his way or no way"...

Fast forward - 10 years - 2 children - screaming crying " shut them up or I'll leave" "get a job, put them in care, I don't want to work " "take the garbage out woman, the house stinks what have you been doing all day".. etc., etc,

Don't you think that your family can see the writing on the wall?

I can,

the posters can..


I saw the word " control "- you are nothing - your are mine - you do what I want or forget it - you give me your money - it's all about me, me, me.

What has he given you?


"Sorry darlin I love you I'll change"

Do you really believe that? It's a cycle and he has you riding the bike, turn left and don't ride back..

CW

[Sweetp74]

Hi there,

I have a sister who is in this situation. Five or so years ago she introduced us to her partner, a very good looking and seemingly nice person.
I have lost count of the amount of times that he has told her during a drunken stupor, that he doesn't love her anymore, he made a mistake moving in with her and that he doesn't think he wants to be with her anymore
We the family, take the upset phone calls, reassure her, tell her she can do better, only to find out that she is back with him again.
She finally moved out on her own last year, started seeing other guys, which he did not like, asked her to take him back, asked her to move back in, only days after she handed in her notice at her flat, he told her again he made a mistake and didn't want to be with her.
I just can't keep up!

My question to you - he hurts you every time he dumps you. You spend time getting over the hurt - only to take him back so he can hurt you again. Is this how you want your life to be?

Wouldnt it be nice to, get over the hurt and move on? better to be happy on your own than mucked around by someone who doesn't deserve you

[womenwise]

No...Did you move on, or spend all your time, On what he is doing, and thinking..You dont need a person, that unstable..Thats what is it is, unstability.
Love is not a stagnant emotion is equal to create, He needs to demonstrate change.
You have doubts, good, go with your instinct, and find out more about yourself, what you need and want..let him go..