[elise]

Things are going well. i really appreciate everyone's views and opinions. I decided that things are the way they are. Im not going to be trying to sort it all out. I find that actually makes things worse. I tend to amke up stories in my head, how things are really bad, when actually they are not bad at all. Living in the moment is all i can do. Living int he past or by what if's will make me crazy!! My husband and i love each other. Am i 'Inlove" with him i don't think so, and does that matter???. Sure the grass is very much greener on the other side. If i leave and find someone who is fabulous in bed he will probalby not be able to make strawberry jam like my man!! SO, all is good.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't equate "sex" with love.... You can be in love with your husband for the way he loves you... He loves you enough to allow you for 7 years to have an affair, to have sexual intercourse, but what your probably missing is that he is sad, hurt, and in love.

He may look at porn but that's to try and get it "back"... He knows that his wife is sleeping with another man and has for a long time.

He knows you love him in "your way", but not sexually.

He knows it's stress but now it's a bit more, it's my wife doesn't find me sexually attractive, at first it was me, it was my fault but now it's failed but I love her.

I think it's time you watched porn together... I think it's time you spent quality time with him and let him know that you became so sexual that you thought he wouldn't ever cut it.

Go back to the beginning, you found him "hot then"...

You may feel you aren't attracted to him because he had a problem for a while, still does, but he could get it back if only he knew you loved him.

If he's watching porn he's trying.
If he let you go to get it from elsewhere he loves you.

If you left and he found someone else that loved him, he could with her love and guidence and support get it all back.

Your missing something here I think.

It's not all about you, but "you both".

CW