[Guest]

You guys are right... I can't keep holding on to anger and being hurt. I am tired of it. I always thought forgiving means that it makes it ok. I guess the person who taught me that was wrong. I can't focus on the good things that are currently happening if I keep looking back.. its not fair to me or anyone that is positively in my life.

God, I just hate him so much. I will be seeing my therapist the end of the week. I will be sure to tell her about this. Thank you all SO much. I really do appreciate everything everyone has said, it has help me a lot.

[caterpillar79]

Yes, in order to let go, you have to forgive. Not necessarily means, it's OK...but it is for him to carry now, not you. That you are setting it behind you and you are turning over a new leaf - a clean slate.

Pix, I am very happy for you - of these developments...another thought is journaling. Get a copy of this: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. This will guide you through recovery, you can even use it with your therapist. She probably knows about this series.

[Guest]

I talked to my therapist friday and she said it was a good idea to do that. I wrote the letter... two of them actually. One somewhat a nice one and one just cussing him out. Why do I feel like it isn't enough? I just want to punch him in the face urgh!

[WildChild]

Re read what I posted earlier. IT's not a matter of cussing him out or being nice. You need to first write to clarify and basically dump. Then write telling him how he made you feel, what it did to you, after that write the response you would like to have from him. Do you want an appology? Write it yourself as if it came from him. What do you need to hear? Give that to yourself, clarify and write what you need to hear.
THEN write a note of forgiveness from you to him. I think you need the full process not to just dump. Get John Grey's, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, he details his form of this.

This won't eliminate your feelings but should help you move past them. It will become less important.

[caterpillar79]

I talked to my therapist friday and she said it was a good idea to do that. I wrote the letter... two of them actually. One somewhat a nice one and one just cussing him out. Why do I feel like it isn't enough? I just want to punch him in the face urgh!

If you want, you can PM about this and I will be your sounding board - only if you feel comfy about it, sweet.

Take WC's advice. It works, I have done that too, I have that book...also include The Artist's Way (I sound like an advertiser here)...it is helping me through. BF and I, each have a copy of that and we use it together and it helps us both, also helps keep us closer...you know, the trust factor/issue...

[Guest]

so UPDATE:


My ex who I was referring to contacted me via social networking site. I thought I had blocked him but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, he wrote to me asking WHY I hated him and all this BS. I think he is more jealous at the fact that I still talk to my old roommate his friend. (I talk to my old roommate bc he was there for me when I really needed a friend)
So I want to know if it's a good idea sending him that letter or not? I talked to my therapist and she said its my choice. But I still need guidance... my mind changes daily. Some times I want to send it and sometimes I don't.

Any suggestions?

[WildChild]

Why don't you write it out and let it sit for a few days? Then re-read and see how you feel about it?

[Guest]

Why don't you write it out and let it sit for a few days? Then re-read and see how you feel about it?

Great idea