[lee2009]

ye all might think im a b***h for this but i need your help.and i had no other choice.
my friend called me the other day to tell me that my ex was playing sports and he got hit in the head and he was in hospital and he had to get an operation.(he is ok now).my boyfriend ask me what my friend wanted so i told him but i changed the name of the ex becase my boyfriend really does'nt like my ex because he always usto text me saying he loved me and my boyfreind got really mad at him and ever since if anyone talkes to me about him my boyfriend flips so i knew he would get mad because she rang me to tell me bout my ex.but now my ex is on the front of the news paper because of what happend. and if my boyfriend sees the paper he will know i lied.i hate lying to him i really do but i didnt want him to get angry.should i tell him or just leave it and see what happens.

[sourpuss]

I think you should just leave it and see what happens. Also, you should go about your life without worrying about making him mad, that's ridiculous. You can be friends with your ex if you want. You have a history together and being there for him when he has a major accident like that is not unreasonable. If your boyfriend is to jealous and possessive to understand that, then you may want to really think about your future with him.

[OGFL]

[QUOTE=lee2009;98407].my boyfriend ask me what my friend wanted so i told him but i changed the name of the ex because my boyfriend really doesn't like my ex because he always us to text me saying he loved me and my boyfriend got really mad at him .

being friends with an ex is ok but your ex texting he loves you to you is disrespectful to your boyfriend which is why he hates so much ( cause your ex didn't respect yalls relationship in your bf's eyes).

I don't think there is a man alive who be ok with their girlfriend/wife getting I love you text from their ex ( even if it didn't mean anything to you).

[Tina Lee]

If you and your current bf have been in a committed relationship for awhile, then you owe it to him to be COMPLETELY honest. He will get mad, it will hurt. But lying hurts more..

If your ex texted you "I love you messages", that really is disrespectful to your current bf, as someone already stated.

It is okay to be friends with who you want, but it depends on your current situation. If your current bf is a loving, respectful, wholly committed to you kind of person, then you need to respect his feelings. If your current bf is possessive, and controlling, then that's a different matter.

As I said earlier, if this is someone who you truly want to spend the rest of your life with, then tell him the truth! Remember, that the truth always comes out, no matter what..

Good luck, I hope things work out for you....

[lee2009]

If your current bf is a loving, respectful, wholly committed to you kind of person, then you need to respect his feelings.

he is and i do its just he is very controlling and he gets very jelous and that day i really wasnt in the mood for him to be angry. i really hate lying to him its just he really does'nt like my ex.i know it was really wrong to lie and hard for me because im not that type of person because i know what it is like to be lyied to.i feel really bad but i just dont know how to tell him i lyied it will really hurt him.

[Tina Lee]

I can tell that you have regrets with your lie..

Is your current bf easy to talk to? Do you guys have good communication?

It'll be hard, and it'll sting when he hears the truth, but do you want him to find out from you? or from somewhere else?

I'm sorry dear, but there's no way out of this, but only with the truth. You have to sit him down, tell him your feelings for him, and how badly you feel, & tell him what you did.

Then you have to be ready to listen when he is talking about his feelings. Because there will be some hurt, & anger there. In order to help him deal with his feelings, you have to listen, & acknowledge his feelings.

If the roles were reversed, & some ex of his were texting him "I love you" notes, would you be a little upset with this girl? I don't know you, but I just wanted to give you a little something to think about. What would happen if he were to lie to you, & go see that ex? Would you want to know the truth?

As I said earlier I can tell that you really do regret your white lie..

Good luck with your heart to heart with him.

[lee2009]

some things are easy to talk about but when me get into a fite there is no talking to him he never wants to sit down and talk about how he is feeling.so i dunno how he will react when i tell him i lied.

his ex usto text him sayin she missed him and she rang him crying a few times,and that really made me angy then one day i walk'ed into his house and he was on the phone to her and he was talking as if she was his best friend. and when i asked who he was on the phone to he said it was one of his friends.but when i looked at the last call on his phone it was her and that made me upset.i feel so bad because i no what that feels like and i really dont know why i lied to him.that was so hypocritical of me

i really wish i did'nt tell that lie i feel so stupid.and i feel like such a bad girlfriend.

[Tina Lee]

Don't be so hard on yourself Lee. That won't solve anything, it'll only stress you out more.

The truth is, you made a mistake.. But that doesn't make you a stupid person, and it doesn't make you a bad girlfriend. After all you didn't sleep with your ex, right?

You know him better than I do. What does your gut instinct say about telling him the whole truth?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

some things are easy to talk about but when me get into a fite there is no talking to him he never wants to sit down and talk about how he is feeling.so i dunno how he will react when i tell him i lied.

Understandably, if his nature is controlling and jealous, then you had a "fear" of not saying anything to him. You know that there will be an arguement and that you won't be able to resolve it.. Don't you think that's a normal response?

Fear?

Hense the white lie?


his ex usto text him sayin she missed him and she rang him crying a few times,and that really made me angy then one day i walk'ed into his house and he was on the phone to her and he was talking as if she was his best friend. and when i asked who he was on the phone to he said it was one of his friends.but when i looked at the last call on his phone it was her and that made me upset.i feel so bad because i no what that feels like and i really dont know why i lied to him.that was so hypocritical of me


I'm not saying " an eye for an eye" but didn't he also do the same thing? Lied when it was his ex?

You didn't talk to your ex, you merely took a phone call and someone was concerened and thought you should know, you have nothing to feel guilty about, on the other hand, he was talking to an ex, and he lied.

Your not being hypocritcal at all. "He" will be if he gets mad and finds out you told a "white lie" because you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't talk to an ex, you took a phone call, simple and didn't want an arguement...

i really wish i did'nt tell that lie i feel so stupid.and i feel like such a bad girlfriend.

I think Tina is right, your beating yourself up for no reason, you have also a way out, (the above).... you didn't talk to an ex...

You purely didn't want any confrontation, you didn't breach any trust issues, you didn't do anything wrong, you made a "management decision" to keep the peace and this is what you should tell him should he find out.

And, I think that's the issue.

You probably wouldn't have cared what you did, or didn't do but again "fear" has set in, he will see it in the paper and realise that you lied.

Why be frightened of someone? That's not healthy love.

If you can be okay with control, it's not my call to say anything indifferent.

But, jealousy, you have to let him know that he has no reason to feel that way, regardless of anything of his past... You love him and that's it, "get over it", it was a management decision to keep the peace.

Simple..

Be strong and tough on this one, so that he can see what you state makes sense.....

CW

[Joy]

I totally agree with CW you did nothing wrong really. Don't sweat it at all. You took a phone call from your friend not an ex bf. You could have just as easliy seen that type of info on FB.

He was the one who lied and couldn't tell the truth.

good luck don't be to hard on yourself.