[artist1633]

6 weeks

[artist1633]

we didn't drift apart, she simply disappeared. i think we were in an addictive relationship. i am certain if she came walking through the door we'd hit it off like there was no absence. she is confused about what she wants.

[caterpillar79]

It is not long enough, but felt like forever - like for sure. They say it would probably take 6 months the least. Others take years, but always scarred. We never forget about the person.

Right now, when you look back you just couldn't seem to avoid but think about all the good things and memories of her, don't you?

[caterpillar79]

I stand corrected. She drifted away... You should not allow yourself to be hurt this way. Do you go out with friends?

[artist1633]

occasionally i go out with friends. i try to do it as often as possible. tonight i have dance class, unfortunately it is the school she introduced me to. all the same songs and dances.

but many other females are there and they have become friends. i am trying to move on.

yes i agree, 6 months will do it.

[caterpillar79]

Have you considered trying a whole new different avenue? Something that is devoid of her traces?

[artist1633]

i haven't considered that because i enjoy the new friends i met. i believe she has abandoned even the school. she would show up one hour after my class, now she has even stopped that. the last time she showed up she saw me by mistake and wound up calling me and staying one week. i think she is trying to avoid a repeat of that.

i think she is having more problems with this breakup more than me because of her abrupt ending and her stopping the dance classes which she absolutely loved. it is so interesting, my thoughts are she is angry.

she holds grudges badly. when people do that they grow less and stop being the person they are supposed to be. anyway, i pray about it daily. sometimes i feel great, other days thoughts of her hit hard. this afternoon was a difficult. time, time is a good friend these days. i feel her less and less.

[caterpillar79]

Good. Be patient with yourself. When you feel it, just feel it and watch it pass by, like a sailboat slowly drifting away...suddenly you'd feel some peace deep within. It is going to be a roller coaster, but don't deny it - let it happen. You'd soon settle down and feel more yourself.

Have you tried changing or re-decorating your place? Tried changing your thought patterns even?

[artist1633]

when i think of her i pray, i do this because it changes my train of thought. i bought art supplies so i am now back into the swing of creating. i do need to redecorate, her hand was in most of my place. she touched and placed things like her parents would, compulsively. slowly i am reclaiming my space. sadly, if i do, she is disappearing. that is what i need, not what i want. wow, what feelings do that commentar represent?

[caterpillar79]

Well, i am there with you...not what you want, but it IS what you NEED! Do it! I moved apartments, I bought myself new tech toys, went to a martial arts class to de-stress, did more yoga and pilates, went out more, I dated guys that I think could be trusted (so far), worked out more, read more books - I kept myself busy... I started changing how I deal with people. I started to open up more, smile more - even with strangers, even is my eyes show my sadness and the emptiness that I felt at that time. It was hard, but I survived.

Hey, for a consolation, you are a man. I am a woman - I am more emotional than you are. So far, you are more capable to compartmentalize and function better at work than I do.