Hello WH, good morning, good afternoon good evening to all...
I'm going to try and make this as short and to the point as possible but in order to get the advice I need I am going to have to give as much info as possible (dang i'm glad my SO doesn't come to this site!)
Ok...here is the thing months before I started dating my now SO (pic on the page...such a lovely man) I was on the back end of a short lived relationship with an up and coming hip hop artist. For those of you who do not know I write a lot, music is in my family so I spend a lot of time in recording studios (when I do have the time that is)
This is how is started (sorry this might just be a long one) My sister moved into my apt in the BX I have stated that before. Now my neighbor has a recording studio built into the apt, its actually pretty neat and very useful. I have always passed my neighbor and said hello but never any meaningful convo. Turns out my sister knows my neighbor and has for years, he is a producer (doesn't mean he's not a bum) So...she kept telling me "you gotta meet him...i've been in the studio you just have to meet him...he makes beats he isn't going to charge us" blah blah blah..now I have my own places I go and affliates I deal with but its right accross the hall from the apt so I was tempted to at least try it out. The dude started courting me, and courting me hardcore...I wouldn't give him my number so he kept going to my house and asking my sister to call me. The whole nine....he allowed me to listen to his main artist and I really dig'd the dudes style. About a month past and we were all partying together popping bottles real video like (which means it looked like it was a scene from Jamie Fox's blame it on the alk video)
Now Forum...remember I have told you I can speak on a lot of things because I have experienced a lot...things got a little hot and heavy and this dude was ON me like white on rice...well I gave in a tad bit and let him give me service (pleasure me with his mouth on my no-no spot) We were in his apartment and his freaking mother walked in! WTH Man! I have NEVER been walked in on and it was a real turn off. Whats even more strange is his mother seemed to be HAPPY about it. Turns out she wanted us to get together. His mother and him are very close and his mother also talks to my sister. Before I ever got to talk to my sister she did and told her "oh i'm so happy your sister and my son got together, you sister is such a beautiful young woman and so well established" Now this freaked me out even more. Let me also mention that the producer would not stop calling me and talking to my sister about me, telling my sister all these feelings he had about me and he couldn't stop thinking about me etc.
Ok next part of the story...my sister calls me up on day and says...you know the artist we heard he is sitting here and you have to help him. He is having a problem with his son, the mother won't let him see his son and she took him. Now I have pretty good knowledge of the court system and laws when it comes to family law because I go through it a lot. AT first he just talked to me over the internet..I gave him all the links to the forms he needed to file and was giving him as much advice as I could. After speaking to him I could tell he really wanted to be in his sons life it touched me so I felt the least I could do was help him with info. Then we started talking on the phone, I would walk him through writing the letter to the judge and childsupport everything. I got him to file his own childsupport before the girl did which looks a lot better it proves you want to support your child. Then came the day we finally met...mind you another month had passed. His producer (who I want to say is also his best friend) was still calling me but I was not responding or barely responding.
WH Fam..when I met this man I don't know what it was but I was blown away. He was funny, handsome, very tall, light skin, skinny and he twitched a little for health reasons but to me it was adorable ( I still don't know why). I was instantly attracted to him. On top of that I loved his music, his lyrics his passion. Well he felt the same way when it came to me. ( I want to note that at this time we had been talking to each other every day all day in some way shape or form) He took me to meet his mother (our familes are both from the caribean) She took one look at me and you could tell she just loved me. She took me aside and told me that he had only took one other woman to meet her and that was his sons mother, she said I must be special and please remember that. Her and I also had an instant connection. She was gorgeous and just looked strong. She thanked me for my help in finding her grandson and trying to get him back to them.
Ok so a little time passed, a couple of meetings later and we were alone..thats when he asked me...What happened between you and my peoples (talking about the producer) He had this anger behind his eyes. I was touched and shocked at the same time. He is very vocal with his emotions, at least he was with me (I found out later he wasn't like this with other women) He explained how his producer didn't do anything, nothing at all. He made the beats, he wrote all the songs, the producer built the studio for him and all he really did was promote him. It made me laugh because the entire time the producer had been lying to myself and my sister. It didn't affect me because I do my own things. He wouldn't tell me what was said but the producer had lied to him and told him we went all the way. He said he didn't know his producer was talking about me..and that the producer had all these feelings for me. So he was confused. He told me he wanted me and he felt bad because he wanted me. He had this tormented look on his face as if the thought of me being with his friend was physically painful for him.
I explained to him that his friend lied to him, that he wasn't telling the truth about what happened between us. Long story short we started seeing each other in secret. Only because it was really no ones business, also he didn't want to hurt his friend and I didn't want to come in-between them. My sister wanted me with the producer and I'm the baby of the family. My brothers and sisters are very protective of me. Before me he had been a ladies man and my sister feared I would be hurt. So she protested our friendship greatly.
I just didn't want the drama. Things just got harder from there. I started to resent the fact that we were having this wonderful experience in secret. I mean when I was with him we were happy. He would smile all the time, he was teaching me things about music and equipment I didn't know before. WE would create together..he would write his songs and I was writing my sisters for my sisters album. Also..the sex was amazing! I really enjoyed pleasing him and he enjoyed everything! LOL
Well then the sons mother found out and started fighting him more, the producer wouldn't stop calling me and he noticed it so we would argue about that, my sister found out and her and I would argue about it. It was just...drama! I don't do drama....next thing you know we broke up. There is more details to the story but if I devulged them all we would be here all day. Bottom line we broke up because I said it was time we just come out and tell everyone and face it together. He felt as if he betrayed his friend, I felt as if he was betraying me by not telling his friend. It got pretty ugly one day and I gave up and started to try and heal and move on. Still the fact remains that if those variables didn't exsist we would have been happy.
We took a break with no contact between us and one day I got a text message from him. It said simply..."I told him" A few days past and he called me, we decided to be friends. Months later I met and started dating my SO which turned into what it is today.
Now for the kicker....all this time my ex has been making songs about me, us, the situation...these songs are asking me to leave my SO, telling me to come home to him, that he loves me, he's sorry, he can do things better than my SO just put all the best love songs you have heard and put them to hip hop. He always sends me these songs but we rarely discuss the content. He says i'm his best critic because I actually listen. Sometimes I catch things he has overlooked. We are good friends. He has gone back to the way he was before me and has dated at least 6-8 women that I know of since us.
Well as of late he has told me he is lonely (also let me mention he is about to sign with a major label...all off the songs he has writen about us) He instant messages me out of the blue and tells me he loves me, he misses me, he's so sorry...he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I have someone.
Now I know my SO has heard the songs i'm not sure if he has put two and two together. My sister is now in shock because she has heard the songs and she knows. She is like...wow..He has made me his son's godmother and before this we were good friends. I value our friendship but when he said he loved me and no matter what he is going to provide for me and my girls I felt my heart flutter...which put me on high alert...I'm not supposed to feel that right? I have always felt bad for my judgement with his producer, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I REGRET it! I hate that he (my ex) had to go through that, listening to his friend talk about me...but then again if he really cared wouldn't he had said something?
I guess I just need advice....i'm not sure what I want to do Ohhhh and now my ex is asking if we can be intimate again, he wants to service me but I think it is just a ploy because he feels if he touches me I will not be able to let go of him.
I don't know if I love my SO, but I know I still love my ex...the thing is I think I love my SO, he has never done anything to wrong me, not that I know of. I mean I know I don't trust him but thats an issue within myself, I trust NO man! There are so many things I enjoy about my SO for one my SO is drama free! He has no kids, we don't argue...not at all. My ex and I always argued but then we had great make up sex. I don't know why i'm confused..but I am...I just thought that if I wrote it all out and heard some of your opins I would be able to put things into better perspective.
Be as open as you want, ask me what you want I will be listening closely to this thread.....I need your advice seriously!
We took a break and became friends
I'm going to try and make this as short and to the point as possible but in order to get the advice I need I am going to have to give as much info as possible (dang i'm glad my SO doesn't come to this site!)
Ok...here is the thing months before I started dating my now SO (pic on the page...such a lovely man) I was on the back end of a short lived relationship with an up and coming hip hop artist. For those of you who do not know I write a lot, music is in my family so I spend a lot of time in recording studios (when I do have the time that is)
This is how is started (sorry this might just be a long one) My sister moved into my apt in the BX I have stated that before. Now my neighbor has a recording studio built into the apt, its actually pretty neat and very useful. I have always passed my neighbor and said hello but never any meaningful convo. Turns out my sister knows my neighbor and has for years, he is a producer (doesn't mean he's not a bum) So...she kept telling me "you gotta meet him...i've been in the studio you just have to meet him...he makes beats he isn't going to charge us" blah blah blah..now I have my own places I go and affliates I deal with but its right accross the hall from the apt so I was tempted to at least try it out. The dude started courting me, and courting me hardcore...I wouldn't give him my number so he kept going to my house and asking my sister to call me. The whole nine....he allowed me to listen to his main artist and I really dig'd the dudes style. About a month past and we were all partying together popping bottles real video like (which means it looked like it was a scene from Jamie Fox's blame it on the alk video)
Now Forum...remember I have told you I can speak on a lot of things because I have experienced a lot...things got a little hot and heavy and this dude was ON me like white on rice...well I gave in a tad bit and let him give me service (pleasure me with his mouth on my no-no spot) We were in his apartment and his freaking mother walked in! WTH Man! I have NEVER been walked in on and it was a real turn off. Whats even more strange is his mother seemed to be HAPPY about it. Turns out she wanted us to get together. His mother and him are very close and his mother also talks to my sister. Before I ever got to talk to my sister she did and told her "oh i'm so happy your sister and my son got together, you sister is such a beautiful young woman and so well established" Now this freaked me out even more. Let me also mention that the producer would not stop calling me and talking to my sister about me, telling my sister all these feelings he had about me and he couldn't stop thinking about me etc.
Ok next part of the story...my sister calls me up on day and says...you know the artist we heard he is sitting here and you have to help him. He is having a problem with his son, the mother won't let him see his son and she took him. Now I have pretty good knowledge of the court system and laws when it comes to family law because I go through it a lot. AT first he just talked to me over the internet..I gave him all the links to the forms he needed to file and was giving him as much advice as I could. After speaking to him I could tell he really wanted to be in his sons life it touched me so I felt the least I could do was help him with info. Then we started talking on the phone, I would walk him through writing the letter to the judge and childsupport everything. I got him to file his own childsupport before the girl did which looks a lot better it proves you want to support your child. Then came the day we finally met...mind you another month had passed. His producer (who I want to say is also his best friend) was still calling me but I was not responding or barely responding.
WH Fam..when I met this man I don't know what it was but I was blown away. He was funny, handsome, very tall, light skin, skinny and he twitched a little for health reasons but to me it was adorable ( I still don't know why). I was instantly attracted to him. On top of that I loved his music, his lyrics his passion. Well he felt the same way when it came to me. ( I want to note that at this time we had been talking to each other every day all day in some way shape or form) He took me to meet his mother (our familes are both from the caribean) She took one look at me and you could tell she just loved me. She took me aside and told me that he had only took one other woman to meet her and that was his sons mother, she said I must be special and please remember that. Her and I also had an instant connection. She was gorgeous and just looked strong. She thanked me for my help in finding her grandson and trying to get him back to them.
Ok so a little time passed, a couple of meetings later and we were alone..thats when he asked me...What happened between you and my peoples (talking about the producer) He had this anger behind his eyes. I was touched and shocked at the same time. He is very vocal with his emotions, at least he was with me (I found out later he wasn't like this with other women) He explained how his producer didn't do anything, nothing at all. He made the beats, he wrote all the songs, the producer built the studio for him and all he really did was promote him. It made me laugh because the entire time the producer had been lying to myself and my sister. It didn't affect me because I do my own things. He wouldn't tell me what was said but the producer had lied to him and told him we went all the way. He said he didn't know his producer was talking about me..and that the producer had all these feelings for me. So he was confused. He told me he wanted me and he felt bad because he wanted me. He had this tormented look on his face as if the thought of me being with his friend was physically painful for him.
I explained to him that his friend lied to him, that he wasn't telling the truth about what happened between us. Long story short we started seeing each other in secret. Only because it was really no ones business, also he didn't want to hurt his friend and I didn't want to come in-between them. My sister wanted me with the producer and I'm the baby of the family. My brothers and sisters are very protective of me. Before me he had been a ladies man and my sister feared I would be hurt. So she protested our friendship greatly.
I just didn't want the drama. Things just got harder from there. I started to resent the fact that we were having this wonderful experience in secret. I mean when I was with him we were happy. He would smile all the time, he was teaching me things about music and equipment I didn't know before. WE would create together..he would write his songs and I was writing my sisters for my sisters album. Also..the sex was amazing! I really enjoyed pleasing him and he enjoyed everything! LOL
Well then the sons mother found out and started fighting him more, the producer wouldn't stop calling me and he noticed it so we would argue about that, my sister found out and her and I would argue about it. It was just...drama! I don't do drama....next thing you know we broke up. There is more details to the story but if I devulged them all we would be here all day. Bottom line we broke up because I said it was time we just come out and tell everyone and face it together. He felt as if he betrayed his friend, I felt as if he was betraying me by not telling his friend. It got pretty ugly one day and I gave up and started to try and heal and move on. Still the fact remains that if those variables didn't exsist we would have been happy.
We took a break with no contact between us and one day I got a text message from him. It said simply..."I told him" A few days past and he called me, we decided to be friends. Months later I met and started dating my SO which turned into what it is today.
Now for the kicker....all this time my ex has been making songs about me, us, the situation...these songs are asking me to leave my SO, telling me to come home to him, that he loves me, he's sorry, he can do things better than my SO just put all the best love songs you have heard and put them to hip hop. He always sends me these songs but we rarely discuss the content. He says i'm his best critic because I actually listen. Sometimes I catch things he has overlooked. We are good friends. He has gone back to the way he was before me and has dated at least 6-8 women that I know of since us.
Well as of late he has told me he is lonely (also let me mention he is about to sign with a major label...all off the songs he has writen about us) He instant messages me out of the blue and tells me he loves me, he misses me, he's so sorry...he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I have someone.
Now I know my SO has heard the songs i'm not sure if he has put two and two together. My sister is now in shock because she has heard the songs and she knows. She is like...wow..He has made me his son's godmother and before this we were good friends. I value our friendship but when he said he loved me and no matter what he is going to provide for me and my girls I felt my heart flutter...which put me on high alert...I'm not supposed to feel that right? I have always felt bad for my judgement with his producer, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I REGRET it! I hate that he (my ex) had to go through that, listening to his friend talk about me...but then again if he really cared wouldn't he had said something?
I guess I just need advice....i'm not sure what I want to do Ohhhh and now my ex is asking if we can be intimate again, he wants to service me but I think it is just a ploy because he feels if he touches me I will not be able to let go of him.
I don't know if I love my SO, but I know I still love my ex...the thing is I think I love my SO, he has never done anything to wrong me, not that I know of. I mean I know I don't trust him but thats an issue within myself, I trust NO man! There are so many things I enjoy about my SO for one my SO is drama free! He has no kids, we don't argue...not at all. My ex and I always argued but then we had great make up sex. I don't know why i'm confused..but I am...I just thought that if I wrote it all out and heard some of your opins I would be able to put things into better perspective.
Be as open as you want, ask me what you want I will be listening closely to this thread.....I need your advice seriously!
We took a break and became friends
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