[ThexMrs]

Thank you. I will!

[ThexMrs]

Okay..... I'm not going to lie. I'm having a really hard time staying away from Jared.

[WildChild]

Oh come on, it can't be too hard. He rarely calls and only wants sex - which you don't orgasm from with him. He was very unkind earlier this week and then made a request purely for his own gratification with no concern for how you were feeling or doing.
Dear One, you are done with him!!!!! So here you go, this evening do some stretches or a bit of exersize, take a nice shower or bath, light some candles, make yourself a treat. How about some brownies? Then put on a funny or silly movie and laugh yourself silly. Sit on the floor, tickle yourself if you have to! No men. no thinking about them, worrying about them, just leave them alone. Think of this as a Goddess night, just for you to indulge you.

[WildChild]

I just bumped up my brownie recipe to make it easier for you to find.

[ThexMrs]

The sex - no, I don't orgasm from but the oral - yes, I do. He's the only man who has ever made me orgasm even if it was just oral. That's better than nothing.

I know that he was unkind earlier this week. I can understand why though. He was really mad at me for what I did and I don't blame him. It was severe but nothing compared to past mutilation.

I looked over your recipe. It looks yummy but I don't have what it calls for so I can't make them. I really don't need chocolate right now anyways, lol. Chocolate milk, yeah... That'd be okay. Thanks for bumping it up for me.

Here's the bad news...

I text Jared and said, "Do you want to come over and have sex?"

He said, "No." (I know right? Surprised me too!)

I said, "Are you mad at me?"

He said, "No."

I said, "Why not then?"

He said, "Because I am tired of being accused of only wanting sex from you."

I said, "But I asked you! That's alright. I'll get you into bed. "

He said, "Oh really?"

I said, "Yep. I'm confident in my abilities. " Then I asked, "When can you come over?"

He said, "I don't know." (That irritated me)

I said, "Okay well approximately?"

He said, "I don't know. I'm working."

I said, "Alright then."

He said, "You'll just call someone up and get it from someone else anyways." (Grr)

I said, "Unlike the people you may know, I'm not a sl*t. I don't just have sex with anyone and I prefer to have sex with someone I'm in love with."

He said, "Not me."

I said, "Not you, what?"

He said, "You're not in love with me."

And then we got into a huge fight and haven't talked since. So I guess it's good and bad news. I wanted him, he couldn't come so... Whatever.

[WildChild]

I just don't see why you do this to yourself. You went through the whole thing of it's over, you realize he just not into you - all that and then you asking him to have sex. You can't keep doing this to yourself, it just makes you unhappy.
You know dear, you would be better with no men in your life for a while, than with this situation. But talk with your therapist about it?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Do you know what that's called?

Him using you, using him, using you, using him.

USING...

Good on ya...

You know my thoughts, don't get used ,don't use and then love will have to find it's way huh.

PFTTTTTT

[ThexMrs]

Anger: He said - She said.

I warn you now... This is going to be a long post however it's just the conversation between Jared and I over the weekend. Everything has turned vile.

Conversation 1-

Jared: Are you mad at me?

Lindsay: For?

Jared: I don't know.

Lindsay: Yes, you do.

Jared: For being an ***hole. I am sorry.

Lindsay: Are you?

Jared: I am. And yes, I'd love to make love to you.

Lindsay: Hmm... Are you sure you're not just saying sorry because you want to have sex now?

Jared: No. I am not.

Lindsay: Well, why are you sorry? You never apologize to me.

Jared: Cuz I am.

Lindsay: Not good enough. I've been trying and want you to do the same.

Jared: I said I was sorry. I miss your kiss and touch.

Lindsay: Then start treating me better. I want this to work.

Jared: Alright.

Lindsay: No, not alright. I want more Jared. Don't be short with me.

Jared: Okay honey.

Lindsay: Ugh... Okay then.

Jared: What do you want me to do?

Lindsay: I want you to love me, show me you love me, be sweet and kind to me, treat me with respect, spend time with me, do things with me, hang out with me and my friends, go to the party.

Jared: I love you.

(See how he avoided things with an I love you?)

Lindsay: Prove it.

Jared: Okay.

Lindsay: I mean it Jared. If you can't be in this with your whole heart, don't be in it at all.

Jared: Ok Lindsay.

Lindsay: Can you do that? I'm not playing anymore. I won't go back on my word. I'm tired of hurting because of you and pretending I don't.

Jared: I do not mean to.

Lindsay: But you do.

Jared: I don't mean to, okay???

Lindsay: Yes, I know but that doesn't change that you do. Please stop.

Jared: Ok.

Lindsay: Thank you. I don't want you to feel like a bad person just... Realize that I'm worth more than you give me.

Jared: Alright. I love you.

Lindsay:

Jared: Okay well I'm going to go to sleep. Love you.

And here's the downfall.

Jared: Can you send me a naughty pic to help me put myself to sleep?

Lindsay: Umm... Hold on. I can't send anything while I'm on the phone.

Jared: Umm...

Lindsay: Umm, what?

Jared: You are on the phone. I won't bother you. Tell him hi for me. Gnite.

Lindsay: It's my friggin uncle, Jared.

No response. I forwarded my call log to him to prove it was my uncle. Why? Because I'm lame. I shouldn't have to prove anything to him.

Conversation 2 -

Lindsay: Where's my apology?

Jared: For?

Lindsay: For accusing me last night of talking to another man when it was just my uncle.

Jared: No, I said "him." That is all. You were talking to a "him."

(I was instantly peeved)

Lindsay: Don't try to effin bs me Jared. We both know what you were thinking.

Jared: Nope.

Lindsay: You're not man enough to admit that you are wrong and apologize so whatever.

Jared: No, I was not wrong. Whoever it was, it was another man who was causing you to ignore me.

Lindsay: We text for over an hour. You call not sending you a dirty photo ignoring you? Eff off.

Jared: Huh?

Lindsay: You obviously don't want to be with me and you're purposely trying to push me away so why don't you just cut the sh*t Jared?

Jared: WTF-ever. Eff of to you too.

Lindsay: I texted with you the whole time I was on the phone with my uncle. I never once ignored you. The only thing I couldn't do was send you a dirty picture while I was on the phone with him and now you want to say I was ignoring you. Seriously Jared? Shut the eff up. You were wrong. You can't admit it. It's whatever. Be that way to someone else. I don't do sh*t to you.

Jared: How were you on the phone and texting me at the same time?

Lindsay: I have a Blackberry. I had my head set on and my text screen open. I forwarded you the call log from my phone which I never should have. I don't need to justify sh*t to you but I did. Look at the time, look at the duration and look when we were texting. It's all right there. Stop accusing me of bs. 1. Being with other men. 2. Sleeping with other men. 3. Ignorning you to talk to other men and 4. Not loving you. I'm sick of it.

Jared: I never got anything from you.

Lindsay: I told you I sent it to your email. Do you want to call me uncle? Here's his number xxx xxx xxxx. Ask him!!!

Jared: Didn't get anything but ok.

Lindsay: What the eff do you want from me? Do you want a girlfriend? Do you want a future? Or do you just want me to be there to lay down for you when you want a piece of ***? Just tell me and quit effing around.

Jared: If I want just a piece of *** I'd go elsewhere. Nice to know you think of me that way.

Lindsay: It's nice to know you can't answer a god dam* question. It's nice to know that you think I'm effing other guys. It's nice to know that you think i'm ignoring you for other guys. It's nice to know that you don't trust me. It's soooooooooooo wonderful knowing that that's how YOU see me. Trust me Jared, if I wanted to eff anyone other than you, I would and I could do it so easily. You have no idea how many men are waiting to take your place.

Jared: I never said that but take em since I am nothing but a PITA.

Lindsay: Pita?

Jared: Pain In The ***.

Lindsay: You make yourself that way. You know what I want. You refuse to give it to me. You refuse to tell me what you want so whatever. You're not going to guilt trip me for your irresponsibility in this so called relationship.

And we haven't talked since.

[Texinator]

You want commitment. He knows that. He is afraid of commitment. You know that.

It's never going to go anywhere. He keeps trying anyway because he wants sex. Why do you keep trying?

[ThexMrs]

Because sometimes someone/something is better than noone/nothing.