[Goodbyegirl]

Sexybabe, My boyfriend broke up with me on Valentines day, a day after he said he would love me forever... I'm so depressed I just wish I could go to bed and never wake up again. I'm in shock still, sad, depressed, all that stuff. I don't care about anything anymore, just dragging myself out of bed is hard. I can't stop crying. I know it will be impossible to ever trust anyone after this. Anyway, I know what you're going thru, it's the same for me. I don't even talk to my friends anymore, I avoid everyone and constantly think of different painless ways to kill myself.. I'd say it's a 50/50 chance I'll do it, but who knows... I'd like to say "hang in there, it'll get better, but I can't, I just sympathize with you, cause I know how you feel.

[Ashlee T.]

GoodByeGirl - Breakups can be horrible, especially when you felt like you truly loved the person. And sometimes it feels like you'll never ever get over it, but that's where your brain and your good sense has to come in to play because you WILL get over it and things WILL get better.

Killing yourself should not be an option. Your feelings of suicide are in big part a result of isolating yourself. Its important to get out and do things with your friends, its important to have "girl time" regardless of whether you feel like it or not. But instead, you isolate yourself which makes you feel even lonelier and thus results in feelings of just ending it all. But is killing yourself the solution? Absolutely not, it's not a solution to anything. It doesn't fix anything and only causes tremendous pain to those you leave behind. You loved someone, be proud of yourself for that. And every day, wake up and remind yourself that you are capable of loving and that if he wasn't the "one" for you then there is someone out there WAITING for you to break free from isolation and heartbreak so they can fall head over heels in love with you.

Death? Not an option. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make a plan of what YOU are going to do that is productive for yourself. There is NO person, not ONE single person on this EARTH that is worth taking your life over. But you already know that.

So what can you do to help get yourself past the heartache?

[Hopeless Dork]

I was watching a show last night where they talked about a study that was conducted on people that jumped from the golden gate bridge... and survived. The one thing they all had in common is a third of the way down they realized that all the problems that they thought were insurmoutable, suddenly seemed like things they could live with, aside from the problem of just having jumped from the golden gate bridge.

I remember when I was 14 years old. I was head over heels in love with an older guy that had fooled me into thinking he was in love with me too, for a few months. The very night I finally had sex with him (he was the first man I had sex with) he had his friend drive me home.

His friend told me that I'd never here from that guy again. That he only sleeps with girls once. I was in shock and thought surely I'd get an explanation from that guy as to why his friend would say such an awful thing. I never got that.

I called and called and he never answered. He never called me back. The last straw for me came when I went to where I knew he would be and he acted like he didn't know who I was.

I was devistated, humiliated, heartbroken. I remember going home and locking myself in the bathroom with something that could have very well killed me. I cried for hours. I thought my life was over. I'd never love any one like I loved him. He made a fool of me. My life was over. I just didn't want to hurt anymore. He'll know how bad he hurt me if I do this... everyone will. But then I realized a man that cared so little he could do what he did to me, would recover well after news of my demise. He'd go on with his life and mine would be gone. My family, my friends, devistated. All so that some douchebag might shrug and go eh. Not worth it.

Somehow someway I walked out of that bathroom in tact. I didn't do anything to myself. As hurt and hopeless as I felt I decided I would try to go on. And I did. Years later when I look back to how I felt about that guy... I see that it wasn't love I was feeling.

My life has been healthy and happy, and wonderful , especially these last few years. I've seen and experienced so much joy... life. Good food, Good music, Good friends, a good movie, pleasure.... theres just so much to see touch and feel in this world we have that we are living in.

I shutter to imagine that all of this that I have, that wasn't forseeable that day in the bathroom, would fail to exsist if I decided not to go on at that point. The catastrophic effects it would have had on all the people that matter. I thanks God that as sad as I was I saw through it.

Years from now, goodbyegirl, this heartache that you have , that burns so deeply in your chest... you'll have to struggle to remember what it felt like as it will be so faded with time.

Please talk to someone close to you. Please get the support that you need to see through to the other side. Life is so beautiful and precious, and so much more than this jerk that would break your heart. He isn't worth everything. NOthing is.

[jaygirlweek96]

hey sweety, time heals, i know this isnt what you want to hear right now, but it does. As the day goes by, you get better. Please try not to dwell on the break up, as hard as it may be, call up your friends, hang out with them, do things that would make you happy. it would really help.

hugs

[Goodbyegirl]

Thanks everyone, I am now at a friends place, staying with her for a week or more.. She insisted I come and stay.. It is helping a lot, Im starting to feel better already, just having the company, instead of sitting in my bedroom at home, crying. Thank you for all your encouragement, and all of it makes sense. Not to say Im not still upset, sad, depressed, I think it's going to be like a rollercoaster, good one day, sad the next, this has been my experience so far. Maybe everyone is right, and I will want to go on with my life, I don't know, but right now I feel like I'm ok for today.. wish me luck

[sexybabe]

Goodbyegirl... it has been a rollercoaster ride for me for the last 4 months. On good days, I can hang out with friends and not even mention his name. I can focus on my work or enjoy some of the things that I like doing. On really bad days I would feel the pain all over again, the pain of losing him, of all the broken promises, of all the things he said that hurt me, the pain of missing him everyday, wanting to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to hold him again - all of these feelings burn up inside me and I would break down all over again... I would cry and cry and start hating him again. And then I would hate myself for not being able to come through the hole. I'd feel miserable and helpless and stuck in the pain... sometimes it would seem like the torment is never going to end.

It's been 4 months and I still cry. I still hurt. Do I still love him? Absolutely. As much as I ever did and my feelings never changed. After all, he is the love of my life. But somehow, I am managing. At most times it feels like I just drift through life.. that I just endure. I am still a "work in progress" as my friends like to put it.

Whatever you do, don't ever take away your own life. In my moments of despair, I would imagine plunging to my death from my 7th floor apartment. But I would never do that. No matter how long this takes me, I know I am going to be ok. I am going to live again. And perhaps, I would find love again.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhhhh

goodbygirl
I avoid everyone and constantly think of different painless ways to kill myself.. I'd say it's a 50/50 chance I'll do it, but who knows..

Dark, wrong, totally wrong... and your user name should be, goingtogettheregirl.....

No person, on this earth, is worth killing yourself over.. Think about it.. You loved, once, do you seriously, seriously, girls, think that you can never love again?

It's in your soul, your nature, you have loved...

Listen to someone OLDER than both of you, probably your ages put together, there is a beauty in the knowing that with all the love that you have in you, that there is a reason why all the love you wasted on this person, didn't come to fruition.

What? That there is someone else out there, that when you give that love to them as you just both did, you WILL actually get it back, 10 fold to the point where you are so amazed, gobsmacked and wonder where the heck have you been all my life?

Each relationship is a stepping stone. Every time you love, your heart will be broken.

Why on earth would you not want to receive it back? 10 Fold? Guard you heart slightly, until you receive the love you deserve, then when you give, it it's an amazing feeling, as you'll get it back more than you've ever given out.

Stop wondering why? Why, is because he wasn't him...

Stop feeling negative... Yes, he left, but that's because you two weren't the right ones, you just think he was, because you know no better, and because, you gave love and so your heart is broken.

When I hear of Romeo and Juliet... Make sure that you were, because I am betting, neither of you were, sexybabe and Goodbyegirl... in a Romeo and Juliet relationship.

You can live.

You can live without him both of you...

Once you realise that there is someone waiting out there better, and instead of thinking of your past, move into your present.

It's time to get out there and do things that you both have never, ever, done, there are other things than diving for instance, that you would love sexybabe, start to write your goals and dreams down and go for it.

You both will love again.

Trust me on that.

It's a fact.

CW

[Mes T]

Wow CW. Couldn't have ever said it better myself.

[WildChild]

Wow HD and CW have both said it so well.
I've been there, fell for a guy after I got out of high school. I'd had several bfs and hadn't been really bothered with any break ups. But this one I fell hard for and when we broke up I was devistated. Cried and cried, I was simply inconsolable.
Looking back, I'm not sure why. He was terribly jealous and nearly every time we went out, it would end up with him sure there was some cause for him to doubt me because some guy had looked at me or spoken to me. He was moody and controlling. Really, he was a jerk.
But at the time I was smitten and miserable. I didn't think I would or could get over it. Just goes to show how wrong I can be.

Just to show I'm a slow learner, I've done some serious crying more recently.
Here's some questions I asked myself:
What has it helped?
How will my being miserable help me?
How will my being miserable make anything better?
How will my being miserable bring him closer or get me what I want?

You know what? I realised that being miserable, or not, is a choice. I can choose not to be miserable.
I can choose to find things I enjoy.
I can choose to be happy on my own.
I can choose to be joyful.
I'm making these choices because they improve my life.

There is a saying that living well is the best revenge.
Well loving yourself is the best cure for a broken heart.
Why give him that much power?
You what else I've found? The more I do this, the easier it gets and the more positive interaction with other people I draw to myself.
But you have to decide not to be miserable. It takes practice but you CAN do it.

[sexybabe]

It's time to get out there and do things that you both have never, ever, done, there are other things than diving for instance, that you would love sexybabe, start to write your goals and dreams down and go for it.

CW... I stopped diving and recently got into another sport... Running. This is something that I've always wanted to do but I was so out of shape and was a heavy smoker too. I was discouraged to even try. Now, not only do I feel healthier and sexier (I lost weight from all the running and feel so much better about myself), but it also feels great to actually do something else that I can enjoy. My goal is to run a marathon

It's slowly beginning to feel like I am redeeming parts of my life back, and I am beginning to enjoy life again.