[newhere808]

Blackmail is a much more serious crime than prostitution (in most places). Has he emailed or texted you with the threat to distribute the tape? If so, you have proof.

That does not mean that the police or a judge would omit the prostitution charges out of pity for blackmail.

OP unless you have someone you can trust that is familiar with legal proceedings in your area, I would make no assumptions as to how the 'law' will react to your situation.

[SinisterUrge]

Prostitution is a misdemeanor crime. As a first time offender you'll probably get community service and a fine before you see the inside of county jail. Blackmail is a rather serious offense, and if he's doing it to you.... he's doing it to other people. Call a lawyer, call the cops and get the nutjob out of your life for good.

*The tape you saw wasn't the only copy. Theres a copy on his computer and on his friend's computers (or already on the 'net).

*If you pay he'll post the video online anyway (or mail a copy to your BF), what does he have to lose?

[sourpuss]

I don't advocate lying routinely... but in this one circumstance ... perhaps you could tell this guy with the tape that you are pregnant? Those are the type of words that make scumbags like him run for the hills. Maybe tell him you want to stop because you are falling in love with him. Start checking his cell phone for other girls... ask him if he thinks you are fat, and breaking into crying fits about him not loving you enough and see if he is still interested in having sex with you :P

I know this is a serious issue, but that really made me laugh...and it just may work.

[rcoreyus]

NO, I'd be careful. He may just a complete A-hole, or he might be a violent A-hole.

I know this is a serious issue, but that really made me laugh...and it just may work.

[WildChild]

It may end you relationship but if you don't deal with this effectively it could follow for a long time. If this got on the net with your name, it could effect future jobs searches and number of areas you haven't even considered. I think you need to swallow your pride. know that you may have to take it on the chin and go to the police. Tell them that you are afraid this guy may try to pimp you or harm you. It's a prime set up for it.

[WildChild]

You might try talking with an attorney. Is there a woman's advocacy group or something in your area that might help?

[Rema R]

Thanks people...im still thinkin that maybe all this will be over if i just changed my phone number...i was seriously thinkin abt it and if he does go to the police with this what the can he say???oh she is a hooker and doesnt want to do it anymore so go get her..i dont knw wat he can say to the police that wont get him in trouble too...about putin the video on the internet i just hope he dosent do it coz im too scared to tell my boyfrnd i love him too much and i wud die if he broke up w me...

[pretzel]

Thanks people...im still thinkin that maybe all this will be over if i just changed my phone number...i was seriously thinkin abt it and if he does go to the police with this what the can he say???oh she is a hooker and doesnt want to do it anymore so go get her..i dont knw wat he can say to the police that wont get him in trouble too...about putin the video on the internet i just hope he dosent do it coz im too scared to tell my boyfrnd i love him too much and i wud die if he broke up w me...

I know this is a tough call, but would you rather be the one telling your bf or one of his friends?

There very much is a big distinction as far as the legal issues go between your accepting money for sex and his blackmailing you. He has a bigger issue in that he videotaped the two of you without your knowledge (?) and is now using that against you.

[sourpuss]

You might try talking with an attorney. Is there a woman's advocacy group or something in your area that might help?

I think this is the best bet. Does this guy know your real name?

[newhere808]

I know this is a tough call, but would you rather be the one telling your bf or one of his friends?

I totally agree, better to level with him then have him hear about it through a third party, or worse, see the video.

There very much is a big distinction as far as the legal issues go between your accepting money for sex and his blackmailing you. He has a bigger issue in that he videotaped the two of you without your knowledge (?) and is now using that against you.

There is a distinction but that does not mean that they will gloss over the fact that she accepted money for sex, and it is not wise to assume that they will. The OP should consult with an attourny before she makes a decision either way, it is dangerous to gamble on what the legal system will and will not do in any given situation.