[stressed]

I've known couples in "open marriages" where they were both happy with this sort of sexual variation. I've had a semi-open relationship and it didn't offer me what a typical kind of relationship offers me today.

It's not for jealous people and for the majority of people who are in love, jealousy is necessary to exist. If you don't have the slightest feeling of wanting to be the only one your partner has sex with, then we're talking more about a 'contract/temporary relationship' than a bond. But, of course, there are exceptions.

[stressed]

A friend of mine said the exact opposite! That we're "not meant to be monogamous," and that has haunted me a little bit ever since. So which statement is true?

I think that physically we are meant to be monogamous, but mentally we find it hard to do so.

It's very easy to start thinking "I like what I have, but what if the other is better?". It's also very easy to catch STD's by having multiple parters (and condoms don't grow on trees) so if we were "meant" to be polygamous our bodies would be alright with constant exchanging of DNA.

[the wench]

its a case of each to their own with this situation but i personally cant see how this can ever work, one nearly always seems to get attatched more than the other and leads to heartache and jealousy etc when it shouldnt as this is what they signed up for kinda thing. dont think ive ever met anyone who has had a successful open relationship but im sure there is people out there who its worked perfectly for.

[kygirl]

Whats your take on an open relationship?
Could you, would you or just no way?
Is it ok for someone else and just not you, or not for anyone, in your opinion?
Discuss~

I just don't think I could. In some ways, I understand why people choose to have them, but I am much too jealous for that. I think once I care about someone to a certain level, it's just me or I'm outta there.

You also have additional fears of STDs to take into consideration. For females, what if you got pregnant by someone else??

Just too much worry for not a lot of benefit in my opinion, but then again, I still do sort of understand why some people do. (the lure of it, if you will)

[sweetums72]

I am in an open marriage. For us, its about more than just sex. Its about being able to have a friendship with a person of another gender and the other being ok with it.
For my husband and I, it has worked. I have many firends who had to give up their firends of the other gender when they got into a serious relationship because of jealousy. We choose not to take that road. If there is a sexual attraction to that friend we are able to act on it if we choose. There hasnt been any jealousy because 1)neither of us are jealous people, and 2) complete and total open communication all the time.
Condoms may not grow on trees, but they are very readily available and for us, pregnancy isnt an issue as we are both fixed.
You can have respect, trust and complete and total love for another and still have sexual feelings for another. In the 5 years we have been open, we have each had 1 partner. Its not as if we are out on the prowl searching for something more all day everyday.
As my husband puts it, this is a gift we can give eachother that you cant buy at the store.

[ocularone]

i also think that the word "jealous" has a bad connotation. Personally i believe jealousy (to a certain extent) is a good thing to feel when in a relationship. If you love them..you will be jealous for them. Now obviously there is UNHEALTHY amounts jealousy just as with anything else (like eating for example). If your SO flips out if the opposite sex passes by you, obviously they have issues. However, i believe that in any monogamous, loving relationship there SHOULD be some jealousy there. My girlfriend has plenty of guy friends and i am totally cool with that...however..i will tend to feel that pang of jealousy if she tells me about some guy that hit on her while she was out with the girls. Just because i love her and deep down i am bothered some other guy tried to get up with her (especially when i know what a lot of men are thinking when they see her). I think it's healthy to be jealous for the one that you love..the one that is for YOU.

[ocularone]

Condoms may not grow on trees, but they are very readily available and for us, pregnancy isnt an issue as we are both fixed.
You can have respect, trust and complete and total love for another and still have sexual feelings for another. In the 5 years we have been open, we have each had 1 partner. Its not as if we are out on the prowl searching for something more all day everyday.
As my husband puts it, this is a gift we can give eachother that you cant buy at the store.

i respect your opinion but i will never EVER agree with or believe that

[GlitterAndStuds]

I have absolutely nothing against those that it works for. If it works, more power to 'em! Different strokes for different folks. Personally, it's not for me, for all the reasons that were already said.

My boyfriend and I will make jokes all the time about having threesome with Sophia Bush or something, but when it comes down to it with people we have a chance of meeting? No way. We're both the jealous type and the idea of sharing just isn't an option. The mental images alone would drive me crazy.

I've always believed that if you have desires to sleep with other people, that should be something you get out of your system before committing to a relationship, open or not. But again, that's just me, and I will never judge others for their lifestyles.

[kygirl]

I am in an open marriage. For us, its about more than just sex. Its about being able to have a friendship with a person of another gender and the other being ok with it.
For my husband and I, it has worked. I have many firends who had to give up their firends of the other gender when they got into a serious relationship because of jealousy. We choose not to take that road. If there is a sexual attraction to that friend we are able to act on it if we choose. There hasnt been any jealousy because 1)neither of us are jealous people, and 2) complete and total open communication all the time.
Condoms may not grow on trees, but they are very readily available and for us, pregnancy isnt an issue as we are both fixed.
You can have respect, trust and complete and total love for another and still have sexual feelings for another. In the 5 years we have been open, we have each had 1 partner. Its not as if we are out on the prowl searching for something more all day everyday.
As my husband puts it, this is a gift we can give eachother that you cant buy at the store.

I don't disagree that it could work. I just think it takes a very specific type of person and type of relationship for it to work. I personally couldn't do it and think more often than not, it would not work.

There are plenty of other gifts I can give to someone that you can't get in a store But everyone has to figure out what works for them...

[Joey]

Personally, i wouldnt want to be in an open relationship. I can see why people would want to be in one if the didnt want commitment or liked the excitement, but it really isnt for me. i like more substance in my relationships.