So I moved to a new city all by myself a few years ago and I have found a couple girls who lived in my neighborhood who were also young, single and looking to have fun and we became great friends. One on one, these are great girls and we do have a lot of interests in common. We are well educated, articulated, enjoy fashion and travel, dancing and can share fantastic dating stories over a cocktail or brunch! I really connected with one girl, and became friends with the other over time through this mutual friend. The second girl really was annoying and not my cup-o-tea at all when we first met, but kind of grew on me over the years as I endured her for the sake of spending time with the other girl.
I work full time, go to school full time, and I have to admit that I am a bit more shy and not great at initiating new friendships. If people approach me aggressively about hanging out, then it's great, but I am not one to do the same. Long story short is that these two girls are virtually my social network. My school is online and I work with much older women and three-year-olds so there are not many social connections there. I have felt a little intimidated about attending social events alone so I usually ask one of the girls to come along, but it's been a bit of an eye opener recently.
I really do appreciate these friendships. The second girl is a great person with a great heart and I know in time of need she would be there for me. When we are out in social/single settings though I feel very embarrassed by her interactions. I can see on the faces of the people around us that they instantly cue into her aloof-ness and awkward behavior and find any way out of the interaction. One night I had met a man in a bar who was very interesting and we were having a great time talking all night, but he kept commenting on how "different" or "interesting" my friend was. He even joked with her about her behavior with little pokes like "Way to go, you just talked to that guy for an HOUR about ... scrubs?" or "Do you have anger issues or what?" or "Gosh, you really don't drop a subject do you". He didn't comment on this, but it is something that I am totally annoyed by, but she also talks like a trucker! I hate it! I have told her this many times too! She's a smart girl but when she curses like a sailor it just makes her sound kind of trashy. But clearly that's just how she talks. And yes she does have anger issues. and yes she goes on and on and on about the same thing over and over. This is just her.
SO as her friend I have tried to tell her that these things are very challenging about her. She is aware and trying to be conscious of how she acts, but at the same time she invokes this self-righteous attitude of "F-it! This is who I am and they have to like me for me" which I agree, but it definitely makes social settings awkward because we are so opposite in behavior. The trouble is that we are both the single girls who want to get out and about, but not necessarily on our own. So we go out a lot together.
Based on the theory that you are who you surround yourself with, then I am very much hanging with the wrong people. I try making other connections, but again, I am a bit shy and it has proven to be a very slow process. Also, she is a very entertaining good hearted girl and I do enjoy her company now that she has kind of grown on me over the years. I would definitely help her in time of need and be there for her, but I really feel like a jerk for how I feel. I honestly feel embarrassed and like I don't want to mix her with other people, but she is a good friend of mine. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS??
I work full time, go to school full time, and I have to admit that I am a bit more shy and not great at initiating new friendships. If people approach me aggressively about hanging out, then it's great, but I am not one to do the same. Long story short is that these two girls are virtually my social network. My school is online and I work with much older women and three-year-olds so there are not many social connections there. I have felt a little intimidated about attending social events alone so I usually ask one of the girls to come along, but it's been a bit of an eye opener recently.
I really do appreciate these friendships. The second girl is a great person with a great heart and I know in time of need she would be there for me. When we are out in social/single settings though I feel very embarrassed by her interactions. I can see on the faces of the people around us that they instantly cue into her aloof-ness and awkward behavior and find any way out of the interaction. One night I had met a man in a bar who was very interesting and we were having a great time talking all night, but he kept commenting on how "different" or "interesting" my friend was. He even joked with her about her behavior with little pokes like "Way to go, you just talked to that guy for an HOUR about ... scrubs?" or "Do you have anger issues or what?" or "Gosh, you really don't drop a subject do you". He didn't comment on this, but it is something that I am totally annoyed by, but she also talks like a trucker! I hate it! I have told her this many times too! She's a smart girl but when she curses like a sailor it just makes her sound kind of trashy. But clearly that's just how she talks. And yes she does have anger issues. and yes she goes on and on and on about the same thing over and over. This is just her.
SO as her friend I have tried to tell her that these things are very challenging about her. She is aware and trying to be conscious of how she acts, but at the same time she invokes this self-righteous attitude of "F-it! This is who I am and they have to like me for me" which I agree, but it definitely makes social settings awkward because we are so opposite in behavior. The trouble is that we are both the single girls who want to get out and about, but not necessarily on our own. So we go out a lot together.
Based on the theory that you are who you surround yourself with, then I am very much hanging with the wrong people. I try making other connections, but again, I am a bit shy and it has proven to be a very slow process. Also, she is a very entertaining good hearted girl and I do enjoy her company now that she has kind of grown on me over the years. I would definitely help her in time of need and be there for her, but I really feel like a jerk for how I feel. I honestly feel embarrassed and like I don't want to mix her with other people, but she is a good friend of mine. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS??
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