[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhhhh... mmmmm....

Well we can't change "hearts".. Seems she had her heart set on him, it didn't happen and it is now.

I'm so sorry sweet...

But, she did choose to give her Virginity to you, so that tells me that she did love you... you were her first...

You know? People come into our lives for a reason.. There is always pain with breakups, always... One person always feels more than the other person.

But, there was a reason.. Your first love will be a beautiful memory, not a horrible one, that's a bonus. It's like this saying:-

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was"...

Seems he did see her inner self after all, that little added bit above you gave us, well had we had know that I don't think people would be answering the way they have, including me.

But, as that saying goes.. You don't know the outcome..

The chances of meeting someone at 16 and staying with them until 96, is a huge odd. Yes, it can happen, that's souls meeting...

So one day you may be able to be together again.

In the meantime, walk on your next journey, you also don't know who the next girl will be and whether or not she has qualities that are outstanding and you fall madly in love with her...

Most times we meet more than 1 soul in our lives, where love is concerned.

[Anon_1990]

I am still holding hope though! Because I had my heart set on her for years too! Infact it was her that intiated it! I fell over backward in love with her after that. Who knows.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yep, your right .. who knows

Only the Universe.. Don't stop living Anon... she isn't, and I am sure she would also be a tad jealous if you moved on as well..

Think about it..

[Anon_1990]

Her freinds all tell me it wont be happening. But I still cling on. I need to move on, I really do, but it really does take time

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's because like I said... her heart was somewhere else, sweet at that time that you met.

It may not be "one day"..

But, yes, I stated that, and I agree, why punish yourself? Why not be loved? Why not give your heart as you did? Do you not think that it will be different? It won't, hearts break, they hurt.

But...

They heal and you move on and you do fall in love again.

Think of a puppy ... and one day as a dog, that you have grown to love, it passes away... You buy a new puppy and over time it turns into a dog.. you remember, the first puppy, and you never forget, but this "dog" has become your friend, your confident, loves you un-conditionally and you love being with it... and so... you love again.

CW

[Anon_1990]

Well I have been heart broken, probably 5 times previous, including once by her, when we werent able to work it out, before we dated. I even had a girlfreind three years before, but she was horrible.

It's just the hardest one this time, my longest and most meaningful relationship

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Okay, well so, what are you missing?

My guess? Confidence...

You try too hard, you so want to be loved and love that you hide inside yourself, you don't project yourself, and show your inner self, you, the true you

Having said that, think on this, your 19 years of age, you've had 5 broken hearts... in that time... so girls like you...

Why do you think you hide yourself?

What are you not confident about yourself?

What are you going to do about it?

PS: Remember, we don't know who you are, so you can share, it's cool....

And, remember, we are here to help and so we will......

[Anon_1990]

Because girls have destroyed me so many times, I hide myself. Three of the occasions were on the internet! Now that I can tell you is a dangerous game. It took me a while before I we fell in love with each other, she was the first to say "I love you", six weeks or so into our relationship

[CHANDLERS WISH]

K...

Well, your picking "strong minded women"...

Internet dating, done that All I found was baggage but you are 19.. so there would be none, but you must be attractive and can communicate and give them something they want to hear to go out with you...

But, you need to gain confidence, and believe in what you believe in , LOVE... and be you... because hiding will make you be false and in that, they see that, and so they change their mind and so you feel destroyed.

Have you considered the gym, reading books on confidence, learning to love yourself, self help, books?

It's a good start.....

But reading what you are writing as well..

I had a friend like that, charismic, good looking.,... won all the women, they said " I love you too" but then he came out of his shell and showed his in-securities and when they saw that, they all left him... He's 40...

So darn good looking, I met him on an internet site and was well, taken... until I also got to know him.

There is nothing wrong with you, don't let past disturb your current present, which will destroy your future..

You get them and you can keep them.

It's time to work on you

CW

[Anon_1990]

Thats the thing, I'm a chatty, confident character who gets along with anyone, but I'm just a bit bruised. I stopped going to the gym years ago, but Im loosing a lot of weight through the heartbreak