[hellokitty]

Thanks Girls :-)

[caterpillar79]

I mostly agree with HD and RCoreyus. I would like to emphasize though, that if it really bothers you - even if he is satisfying you sexually, you have to be upfront about it. If you can stay ok emotionally about your discovery, then, there's no reason to bother in every way possible, but if there is a slight hint of upset in your stomach, please don't just apply band aid on it. Let it out and discuss...always put your heart first.

I don't buy the "men always do it anyway, so I should be okay with it"; "as long as he is satisfying me sexually, I should should feel alright"... It depends on how you look at it and what your boundaries are. Does he know what your boundaries are? For a man who loves his partner dearly, even if it entails a lot of effort on his part, he would try to put your feelings in consideration and would adjust so you won't feel hurt.

Draw the line now and communicate it with him in a loving way, so he knows what he needs to work on while waiting for your wedding. My husband and I struggled on this matter, and I admit I am possessive and overly protective of my heart. I drew the line early in the engagement though and he knew what he's getting himself into. We are still working on it and other stuff, and I am proud to say he's done a phenominal job. It doesn't happen overnight, but when you both agree on your Do's and Don'ts, it helps so much.

Put your heart first.

[BabyGirl]

You know... Halloween is comming up, also Christmas and depending on his birthday being in the fall or winter.

You now have some great ideas for gifts or costumes or even special evening at home dates..

Pick an actress or star you noticed on his computer.. Find out a bit about that woman, maybe one movie that she seemed sexy to you in ( Not porn wise lol). see if you can emulate her or even get a Halloween costume or sexy outfit that would be similar to what you saw.

If you guys aren't Halloween type party go'ers. Maybe start thinking about Christmas time. You can get him a Poster of the Star or have made a Calendar for next year with the Star and You imposed next to her and maybe put his photo in between , Put a sweet saying on it like, " I'm glad you chose us, or something that makes you both smile "

Wooo Hoo *** Adobe CS4 is Rockin ** lol

And you can always test the waters of his "emotions " by putting a Sexy Hot Nekkid Star of your choice on your comp/ email or wherever you found his. See if the porn or " Visual " makes him upset and makes him think about you as a couple. Maybe he will ask you .. Why are you looking at naked Hot men ?
Shows he cares and then you two can have a Boundry talk ..


Emails from Porn places ?? Spam, Spam, Spam. I still get emails about Viagra or Cilasis to make me last Longer ?? with 99 % blockage of Spam or Phishing mails

[hellokitty]

Thanks to everyone for your supportive messages. We had a good chat about this last night and he felt bad for hurting me and said that if he knew that it would upset me he wouldn't have gone there. Just need to work with him and take one day at a time. :-)

[BasketCase]

Have you considered that this may be spam? My boyfriend gets spam messages all the time in his inbox because of some porn sites he visited about 5 or more years ago. About 2 or 3 a day i think. He usually just mass deletes them, don't open them if they look fishy. Could be viruises.

[caterpillar79]

BasketCase, that could be one and or, if the fiancé had subscribed and cancelled but has not unsubscribed his email address from their mailing list...it could be anything but viruses, but one thing is sure, most men resort to porn just 'coz, period.

OP, glad you were able to discuss about it. Good job! If there would be some fallout, stand your ground lovingly. Sometimes, some men are like school children whom I used to teach - they keep testing you. Only difference is that, most men don't do it deliberately, they are just being MEN!

[stressed]

- There is no porn spam on a daily basis: the emails he receives are from porn mailing lists. You don't receive emails just by browsing a page, you have to have registered for that to happen. He probably registered years ago and forgot to unsubscribe.

- OP: Yes, there are men and women who watch porn for one reason or another, but you are not "supposed to" accept it, whether you have a normal sex life or not. If you are not comfortable with it, do like you did, and talk about it. If you don't mind it then there's nothing to be concerned about. As long as you are alright with it, for your own reasons, it won't be a problem. But as mentioned, if you notice that he can be too tired for sex because he spent his energy on porn then you're not meant to accept it.

Most people know how to handle porn, others do it occasionally, others to get new ideas, others out of boredom. But those who insist with it knowing that it bothers their SO cannot be excused. So don't be afraid to talk about it with him if you ever feel like it. It's not a "men's thing". It's a hobby chosen consciously.

[Hopeless Dork]

There is no way in the world I could imagine getting my guy a poster for christmas of a celeb he used as jerk material :P I am not downing your idea, hisbabygirl... I am just saying for me personally... I would feel like I was selling myself really really short. If i got my guy a pinup girl poster as a gift.. you better believe I'd be the pinup in that picture And I dang sure wouldn't want to be super-imposed next to megan fox so I could look like a big mac parked next to a filet mignon lol.

[rcoreyus]

I don't know about other people, but I'll take real food over the plastic Japanese fake sushi any time <g>

Hopeless Dork;208826And I dang sure wouldn't want to be super-imposed next to megan fox so I could look like a big mac parked next to a filet mignon lol.

[BabyGirl]

ROFLMAO HD.

Never thought of it that way. Being compared that is. My point was that it would show him, you are secure in his love and you know men "look" at other beautiful women. And us women "look" at handsome men.

Eye Candy is just that, it's the daily love and support that will continue to hold his love and interest..
Not to mention the fact that there are millions of guys or gals Lusting and Fantasizing over Stars.

But as long as the one you love , lusts for you in real life and loves you , there is no real compitition.
Remember, that they are with you, chose you and you are alive and warm and touchable, unlike the people in Movies, or Calendars or on the Internet sites.