[WildChild]

Good for you! You and he have survived this and hopefully are stronger for it. What is the saying? The best revenge is a life well lived? She tried to split you and mess you up and failed. If you have love and find pleasure in all that you have, she has no power.

[lucybelle]

So I didn't read all the replies but I do think you should tell your children. I think it is really important to be open with them. Plus, you would be amazed at how preceptive kids are. My mom started seeing this guy and decided not to tell anyone. I knew the entire time and just waited for her to come clean to me. When she told me I said "yeah, I knew" She was shocked because she had been keeping everything such a big secret. I just want my family to be open with me. Good and bad things happen, but families are forever.

Good luck.

[Robbed]

Thankyou Wild child. I do feel so much stronger for the experience and our relationship is much stronger for it all too. It is like surviving a plane crash together and we are very close. I will stay with him even once the kids leave us. I can see your point too Lucy, with what you went through, but you see, as Chandlers and others have said here, there are no facts. If I were to be given definite proof I would tell everybody who should know but until then I will take Juliets, Wild childs, Chandlers and Beautiful Ds advice and get on with my life. I have no idea what the other child has been told and it is not up to me to force any knowledge on to that child. I would only be telling my kids now to offload my own burden and that is not fair. There was no right answer for everybody in the beginning to this problem, as there is not a right answer for us all now. I will do what I consider best for MY kids (my only obligation as far as I am concerned) for now and that is to put it aside and tell them when the time is right if there is a need and if there is proof. Why put them through this if none of it is truth and if it was all part of her plan to get him. I am sure the pregnancy was used as a trap in the first place. I actually feel sorry for her. It is a desperate love that would behave this way. Yes Wild child, she tried to screw us up and she has no power at all. Thanks too Rhiannon, I don’t think trust is ever fully gained but I have definitely forgiven him and moved on. Stressed and chandlers---- I would absolutely talk to husband first before taking any action. I agree that should be done. I am so glad to have finally talked to someone about it and to get the diversity of answers means there are different opinions and not one obvious correct way to go. I thank you all for being honest here. I also think that if the time comes and my kids question how I dealt with this problem, I will show them this forum and all your answers and tell them I had no idea what was right and that I was seeking guidance. Thanks again friends. Robby xx