[snuffie]

When I split with my ex boyfriend, I was so desperate for him to be in my life again and for us to be together I ignored all the bad aspects of our relationship and thought that it was lifestyles that split us. I hid the truth from my friends and also to protect myself and hold on to the hope. I know am over him, I really am and need to explain what really happened.

He had a close friendships with all his ex's and one female friend, I was happy with this at the start of the relationship until I saw a conversation between him and his female friend, it sent the cogs working, it ate away at me for a month or so I asked him and they were just friends, always have been nothing else. I snooped it was wrong over the new year and found messages and photos I did not like. I confonted him about the photos and he said they had being sent before we met, I didnt check the date before he deleted them and I believed him, he was so upset and remorseful. He also told me that they had slept together on a number of occassions no strings no relationship. I forgave him and we carried on, but he was aware that I was not keen on her and their friendship and I just asked him to be respectful of me, I didnt want him to no contact her as in my book that was childish for me to ask of him.
Fast forward 4 months, the contact had ramped up as she had found out she was pregnant by a one night stand, and she and her new bf were keeping the baby. I could understand this.....he is her friend....anyway something made me look at his phone again, I know this is bad form but my gut made me.....and again I found new recent photos graphic ones and messages text sex..... I again got upset and confronted him.....he said it was me he wanted, I asked him outright and said I would walk away right then if he wanted out, he said it was me, me he wanted to marry have kids with....but he could explain why they were texting..... all this made me insecure alongside his military job and things constantly changing, i was insecure.
Two weeks later after an arguement he broke up with me saying that he loved me, he was crazy about me, wanted to marry me but that at the moment he couldn't give me what he wanted to give me and what I deserved......

Im more annoyed that I didn't do the breaking, taken for a fool I think.....now thats the truth.

Thank you for listening

why would he do that and say the opposite??

[SaharaJim]

Because he wanted the cake and to eat it too. As to feeling like "he won" by being the one to
"break up"- WHO CARES? he is out of your life. move on and don't be too surprised when he tries another "run at you" when he thinks he can put it over on you
sometime not too far away.

[KMonte85]

what Sahara said!

You need to stop letting this consume your life - you're hurt, of course, but you will have to find a way to work through it and move on because your playing this over and over in your mind just keeps hurting you.

He did it because he isn't a standup guy, he wanted to play a game. He will most likely try it again, and you should shut him down for your own well being. Best of luck to you snuffie, I hope your hurt ends soon.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Because you caught him out a second time and he knew you'd walk, so he had to do it first, that's called ego unfortunately

Snuffles, you do deserve the best, you can't accept something like that twice, there can be no second chances when a person isn't ready to settle down... Doesn't mean they never loved you, rather, not ready for commitment...

Take care sweet...

AND, it doesn't matter what others think, but the best way out there is to say it was a mutual thing, we started drifting.

[Ashlee T.]

Feels good to get it all out there huh? Don't beat yourself up for hiding things from those in your life.......sometimes we don't want others to see what we know is the truth. The most important thing is that you learn never to be dishonest with yourself. And if you find yourself having to be dishonest with those that love you regarding someone you're dating.......then take a moment to stop and ask yourself, "Why?". You shouldn't have to lie about him or about your relationship.

You're a special person, with a big heart and lots of love to give. You messed up, you accepted more than you should have, and it took him leaving you before you got out of it. So now look around you....LOTS of us have done that same thing at some point. I let a guy cheat on me, knew he was doing it, and was SO determined to make it work I stayed until he broke up with me. Ouch. The important thing is learning from your mistakes and being able to move on from it. And by all means, do NOT take him back no matter how hard he tries. And don't give him your friendship, your attention, etc. No matter how much he says he loves you, he doesn't love you "enough" or he wouldn't have continuously betrayed you. He's not the right guy for you. Wasting time with him will delay finding the man who IS right for you.

Forgive yourself. Know your worth. And enjoy moving on with your life.

[lala82]

My ex and I split up a couple of weeks ago. He was not ready to make a commitment. The day that we split up I cried a lot. It was quite hard. But now, I feel better because I know that I did the best decision. I am not worry about him and I now that in the future I will meet someone who will be ready to take the next step.

Just move on carry on with your life. Sooner or latter he will realize what he lost.

[snuffie]

It does feel better to get it out there, I feel cleansed and ready to move on, finally but I now feel clear of that relationship and him by finally explaining and understanding what happened.