[DNS]

HI CW,

Yes it was good interacting with Pertzels... Please find my response below on your questions..

Was your sister-in-law also in an arranged marriage?

Yes even hers is an arranged marriage

[B]How long will they stay with you?

One more month, but its becoming horrible day by day.. she treats me like an maid sometimes

How long have you been married?

its been 8 months

And, if you don't mind, how do you feel about your marriage, the man, you married, in love, or lust, or neither?

I dont say my marriage is great or its a disaster.. but its normal but i always wish to improve it because my husband is a good person thought he is not very romatic he is responsbile and i am the only special women in his life, and he does love me and we have a good sexlife also... but even though this is our first year its not as exciting as i see other couples who are newly married.. but i am completely positive about improving my married life.. i am depressed more because of inlaws issues because it hurts me very badly.. and if i share somthing against them he says he cant do much about it because his parents would feel bad if he takes my side.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well to add to Pretzel She probably isn't happy either and is fighting the attention maybe of your in-laws?

Arranged marriages are hard, and parents seem to rule, it's sad.

4 WEEKS, out of 9 months, the time will be yours to gage, and see, how it pans out after they are gone, all I can say is hang in there.

You say: He's a good person, not romantic, responsible, respects your his woman but will not argue with his faily for you, sex is good.

You have to let him lust after you, see you as strong, see you as beautiful and not a maid....

I wish you the best and you are a good woman, trying and I commend you for that.

CW

[pretzel]

Couple of quick comments to DNS,

I think in the short term you husband will be like this (not overly romantic but very responsible) so in a sense you may have to accept it. Remember he was raised this way and his family dynamic is very patriarchal. It will be an evolution that will come as the two of you grow together so I wouldn't give up hope that this is the way it will be forever.

Your biggest hurdle is his family and in particular the women in that family. I do find it interesting that your sister in law is there instead of with her husband though. I'd say there may be issues that you're not being let in on which I'd say is ok as it's between them.

To be honest, it's interesting to hear about how the new dynamics of Indian society (or any society where arrainged marriages are the tradition) and how it relates to gender equality and work equality. You really do need to be commended in that your willing to open up and talk about wants and needs that generally aren't discussed. You most certainly are an intelligent young lady and your husband is lucky to have you in his life. I think that he not only knows that but is in his own mind trying to reconcile the old with the new. Give him some time and I think you might be pleasantly suprised.