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  • anthonynelson
    Junior Member
    • Aug 2010
    • 7

    Hello chisaki....first of all congratulations for your new home. The best thing about your relationship is that you both are very much matured in your approach. You both understand each other and do not get frustrated for the reasons no one can surpass. i think you will find it easy once some days pass. Why don't you go out for a weekend, that will ease some tension from you!!

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      chisaki, its been fun coming up with ideas to help with your situations, but I am going on vacation and won't be back for 5 weeks. I'm sure things will have evened out by then. Good luck on everything. Maybe I'll lurk at a cyber cafe or two.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • lonestar
        Member
        • Sep 2010
        • 87

        chisaki-
        I cannot stress to you enough how important communication is when you move in with someone. There will be times that you love coming home to him and there will be times that you wish you still had your own place- but this is normal.
        You will get a routine down, like some have already said. I was in school while living with my current boyfriend and he has already graduated so he had free time after work when I had to study. At first he would get all sad that I couldn't hang out and guilt me sometimes, but we talked about it and he didn't even realize it upset me. You have to establish boundaries- school is important! Don't skimp out on studying and your grades cause homeboy wants dinner- he's got two hands, maybe he should take a load off of YOU! It sounds like he is committed to you (hence the ring) so he should not be offended when you need some extra time for yourself and school... just because you live together doesn't mean you don't need time for yourself!

        Comment

        • chaya
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2010
          • 1819

          Originally posted by lonestar
          chisaki-
          I cannot stress to you enough how important communication is when you move in with someone. There will be times that you love coming home to him and there will be times that you wish you still had your own place- but this is normal.
          You will get a routine down, like some have already said. I was in school while living with my current boyfriend and he has already graduated so he had free time after work when I had to study. At first he would get all sad that I couldn't hang out and guilt me sometimes, but we talked about it and he didn't even realize it upset me. You have to establish boundaries- school is important! Don't skimp out on studying and your grades cause homeboy wants dinner- he's got two hands, maybe he should take a load off of YOU! It sounds like he is committed to you (hence the ring) so he should not be offended when you need some extra time for yourself and school... just because you live together doesn't mean you don't need time for yourself!
          It's different with us, he works 4 days a week 10-12 hours a day. When he comes home, he only has time to eat and it's bedtime. With me, I get a lot of my studying/assignments done during school brakes and I get home at least 4 hours (sometimes 6 hours) before him. I usually finish up my school work and still have a lot of free time so I've been doing housework and fixing dinner for him. I want the weekends free so we can do things together. It looks like this routine will work for me, the only thing I'm a little disappointed about is him being so tired when he gets home. After dinner he is too tired to be very romantic and I'm rearing to go. We make up for it on weekends.
          sigpic
          Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
          ― Bodhidharma

          Comment

          • lonestar
            Member
            • Sep 2010
            • 87

            If that works for you, then go for it! More power to ya.

            Comment

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