[Awoman2]

Maybe she'll be interested in her appearance when she discovers you've cheated with someone who does care how she looks.

[Hopeless Dork]

Maybe she'll be interested in her appearance when she discovers you've cheated with someone who does care how she looks.

Yeah nothing makes a woman strive harder to make her husband happy then him throwing his wedding vows and intergrity out the window. She'd probably be more likely to lose 150 pounds the easy way... by getting rid of her husband. Getting in shape for herself and finding love with a man that is... a man that stands by his word.

[Applefan]

I have a very similar problem. Simplexity I totally feel you. I actually registered on this website just so I can add my comments....

I met my wife when I was 26 and she was 25. We fell in love instantly. We were both people who did not believe in marriage initially but decided we were going to make our own terms. We went by many philosophies, one being we will always try to impress each other physically. We never understood why couples let themselves go and we felt that letting ourselves go would mean taking the other for granted.

...........

we have been married for 5 years and she never again visited the gym or did any work outs whatsoever. She realized she was gradually getting bigger but did nothing about it even though i suggested joining me so we could do it together.

hopeless dork stated:

Its a selfish request, its change for me, or i will find someone else. If you were to lose your hair (maybe you already have) would you expect her to love you any less? If with age your erections were not as rockhard as they once were when you first married would you expect her to love you any less? If you hurt your back and couldn't perform in ways some young stud would , would you expect her to love you any less?

hopeless dork, no offense intended but i feel that if I'm going to lose my hair there is nothing i can do about it. if my erections are not what they used to be when i was 19, at the age of 65, again there is nothing i can do about it. If i hurt my back and couldn't perform some moves, its because i have a medical condition, which i can't manipulate..

but there is something that can be done for putting on weight. leading a healthy life style that will benefit yourself and your relationship. it is in her hands.

..... i feel that my wife doesn't care and is truly content being overweight. I just feel that i would not respond in the same way if the tables were turned. I would do anything i could to make her still want me. Her unresponsiveness to the matter is a heart breaker. I will continue to hope though for as long as I can.

Simplexity, I hope things work out with you

[Stillness]

My wife and I could both stand to lose some weight, me more than her. About a month ago, we watched this movie, "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead." It was the most motivating thing I had ever seen. I lost 10 lbs in one week and she lost 5-6. I hadn't made that much of a change in probably 8-9 years and never in so little time. It looks as if it's going to be a permanent lifestyle change for me too because I feel so much better and I'm still eating differently and exercising.

I wonder if you could watch that with your wife if it wouldn't make a difference. If she doesn't want a change already it may not. But you never know...

[jns]

hopeless dork, no offense intended but i feel that if I'm going to lose my hair there is nothing i can do about it. if my erections are not what they used to be when i was 19, at the age of 65, again there is nothing i can do about it. If i hurt my back and couldn't perform some moves, its because i have a medical condition, which i can't manipulate..

but there is something that can be done for putting on weight. leading a healthy life style that will benefit yourself and your relationship. it is in her hands.

Applefan, you underestimate how much a person can change certain things and overestimate others.

Losing hair is something driven by genetics, but there are drugs that can slow it down in some cases. Erections can be helped by drugs, exercises and limiting masturbation. A hurt back may be able to be helped by exercises, a proper bed, proper lifting techniques, being fit, etc. All of them may be able to be made better with surgery or transplants.

Weight gain is driven by genetics, age and exercise. As a person gets older, they will usually hit an age where previous dieting techniques no longer work. People generally don't understand it until they go through that period. It is usually in the late 30's or early 40's. Genetics can make one person store fat much easier than another person at any age. Exercise or not can also be a major part of the puzzle, but don't discount the first two.

If you want to help your wife out in the exercise arena, determine what exercising she likes. Maybe it is swimming, maybe it is skiing, maybe it is bicycling, maybe it is hiking, etc. Then do the exercise with her to get her in the habit of exercising. Don't expect her to automatically take up your preferred method of exercising.