[Hopeless Dork]

Types , Schmypes. When you meet someone and get that chemical reaction of attraction... it can re-define what your 'type' is... while he may find women with dark features beautiful -- he obviously finds women with light ones to be as beautiful or he wouldn't have fallen for you. You are gorgeous, I've seen you... you'd be any man's type, thats the truth. Men love beauty... and some are more drawn to certain particulars but even that being the case..beauty (inside and out) and instinctive attraction trumps any pre-concieved notions of what 'type' a man (or woman) is typically attracted to.

You need to remind yourself that you aren't a charity project your boyfriend has committed himself to... he's with you cause he's into you. Make a mental list of all the reasons you are a total catch... it shouldn't be hard... and remind yourself how lucky HE is to be with a woman like you Exes are exes for a good reason, remember that he has free-will and if she or any woman like her was what he wanted, its what he'd be out there seeking... but its not, he's right there with you, by choice, because he wants to be.

So stop trying to find reasons why he wouldn't prefer you when its obvious he does

[rcoreyus]

Are you sure he doesn't always keep his inbox empty? Different people manage their email different ways.

[Calicorado83]

You need to remind yourself that you aren't a charity project your boyfriend has committed himself to...

Those were exactly the words I was looking for to describe how I felt! I feel like maybe he's just settling for second best or something.

But yes, I so do appreciate your reply, it makes me feel so much better. How come I can't tell myself these things when I'm neck deep in doubt and insecurities? lol

And I understand what you are saying about types. I have found myself attracted to men of all kinds. Yes, I think some features are much more...what's the word..."mmmhmmmm!", but even so, that doesn't mean I don't think other men with different qualities aren't good looking either. My last boyfriend wasn't even nowhere near what I would've expected myself to be with, and I fell head over heels for him!

So, again, thank you. I will probably reread your reply more than once

[Hopeless Dork]

I'm guilty of doing the same thing... except over porn and not exes... I have looked at the pictures of girls my bf use to have on his computer.. girls i look nothing like and think... okay, thats what does it for him.... so why is he with me? I obviously don't live up to what he wishes he was with so he must be just settling, and I still feel that way from time to time.

But then I walk around and get hit on constantly (not bragging, just sayin' lol) and I know in my heart that I am not chopped liver or something one has to 'settle' for. I know I have a hot little body (that still needs some work, sure... but I'm pretty dang good lol) I know that I am smart, clever, funny, silly, playful... loving, sexual and open-minded... I know that I am great company, I'm interesting, exciting... I know that any man would be lucky to have my attention. Because I come with more than a 2d photo shopped image of perfection, I come with depth.

And if he decided he wants something other than what he has in me, he can kick rocks because this girl would not be lonely for very long. I love him to peices but I am learning my worth. I know I'm worth more respect and love and attention than any picture of any girl on a computer or in real life, of any ex or passer by.

I've stopped looking at myself like a charity project and trying to find proof that he is not as in to me as he says he is, shows he is... I believe that he is into me cause I've realized he would be stupid not to be lol You just have to remember that you ddidn't coerce this guy into being with you, he chose to be, wants to be... and to stop trying to prove him wrong... or think he is wrong... or think he wants something he's making it clear he doesn't.

[Calicorado83]

He's amazing except this one thing...

Everything is perfect.

He is just a little clingy.

He is always on me, wanting kisses, hugs, sex, cuddle time, closeness...
I pushed him away once because I wanted to watch T.V., and he tried to lay a guilt trip on me saying, "I would never turn you down if you wanted to give me a kiss..."

Tonight, I wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. Nope, wasn't happening. As soon as he thought I was starting to snooze, he was in my face, touching, caressing me, initiating sex...I just wanted to say, "Can't you see I am trying to sleep? Can a girl get some shut eye?" We had sex three times before he left, before I could finally get some sleep!

I told him, "I feel like you live here. My days consist of sleep, work, you. Sleep, work, you. And when you are here, I love spending time with you, but I can't always give you 100% of my attention. Sometimes I need to sleep, do homework, or clean. I guess I'm just not good at stretching myself out..."

Other than the fact that he wants my attention, and to give me attention, all the time, everything is great. How can I get this little flaw under control without coming off as a witch?

[Calicorado83]

OH! I'm so confused, why are all my new threads appearing under this one?

[WildChild]

I have merged threads about this relationship, it is easier for people to respond appropriately when they see everything that is related to the relationship. One thing alone may look differently when put together with everything else.

[Calicorado83]

OIC, I was just a little worried about my questions not getting seen/answered lol But okay, I see

[WildChild]

Actually you usually get more responses on one longer thread than on several.

[jns]

Everything is perfect.

He is just a little clingy.

He is always on me, wanting kisses, hugs, sex, cuddle time, closeness...
I pushed him away once because I wanted to watch T.V., and he tried to lay a guilt trip on me saying, "I would never turn you down if you wanted to give me a kiss..."

Tonight, I wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. Nope, wasn't happening. As soon as he thought I was starting to snooze, he was in my face, touching, caressing me, initiating sex...I just wanted to say, "Can't you see I am trying to sleep? Can a girl get some shut eye?" We had sex three times before he left, before I could finally get some sleep!

I told him, "I feel like you live here. My days consist of sleep, work, you. Sleep, work, you. And when you are here, I love spending time with you, but I can't always give you 100% of my attention. Sometimes I need to sleep, do homework, or clean. I guess I'm just not good at stretching myself out..."

Other than the fact that he wants my attention, and to give me attention, all the time, everything is great. How can I get this little flaw under control without coming off as a witch?

In a way, the realities of a relationship are setting in. What you will have to determine if the closeness he wants is clingy or just the "can't get enough of the other" feelings (infatuation) at the beginning of a relationship. Those feelings last differing lengths of time with different people. Each person has to accommodate and compromise with the other. Express to him what other things you have to do and see if he is willing to trade some of his time cleaning, for more play time with you, or some of his time doing homework with you.