[MoonDance]

Hello! I have a huge problem with my partner. I'm 24 and he is 30. We've been together for four years now and the problem is about sex. We love each other and our relationship is great, only sex life isn't. At the beginning it was better, we had sex quite a lot. But the problem is, that I can't have orgasm, I can reach it only when masturbating, but never at intercourse. So eventually that became a problem. After sex, I just started to cry. Not intentionally, tears just came out of my eyes. My partner loves me and he wants to help me with this. He really tried. But eventually we just stopped having sex. I guess it seemed easier. I tried talking to him, but he doesn't really want to talk about it as much as I do. And even if we have talked about it, we didn't try all the things we discussed while having sex. The other problem is, that I am very shy in bed and not really comfortable. I don't know what to do! The problem is hurting both of us. Can you please give me some advice? I appreciate it. Thank you!
Oh, by the way, English is not my native language, so I apologize for mistakes I made.

[BasketCase]

MoonDance. We have heard this problem quite frequently. So take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. The best advice I have seen since joining the forum

1. Masterbate, finding out what you like on your own allows you to convey this information to your partner. You can't expect your partner to understand your body if you don't.
2. TALK!, talk about it until you find a solution. Communication is key!
3. Toys, playing with toys with your partner can be fun, exciting and be just the thing you need to push you over the edge
4. Come out of that shell!! If your shy in bed chances are he sences that and doesn't branch out because he is afraid of how you will react. So let him know that you are excited about trying new things!! And yu may be plesently surprised about what he comes up with.

[fiestypunkgirl]

Theres a very small amount of women who actually have the big O during sex. So its NOT at all uncommon. I'm curious though, are you speaking of any kind of orgasm, or just during sex?
If you mean you cant (er havent) had any orgasms with him, period, maybe let him try oral. Or using his hands to stimulate you.
Im also curious why you stopped havig sex? Isnt it still enjoyable with out an orgasm? and why not try some of the ideas you guys came up with? Id encourage starting that again first, then just keep moving on. you know, baby steps. Let him play around a little then stop when you get uncomfortable. Eventually you'll be comfortable going all the way. Let your mind go and focus on the pleasure instead of being nervous about this or that.
Another thing, make sure you're lubed! Dont theink the stuff is just for "old ladies" and you "shouldnt need it". Theres all different kinds out there, not just plain 'ol KY.
Definately work on getting over your shyness because its not serving you. Its hard, I know!! But sounds like your in a loving committed relationship so you should feel safe and comfortable with him. He'll love it, too if you come out of your shell!!