[Guest]

But that brings up the whole other issue of the fact that in 6 months, I've been to his apartment once...

Huh?

Red Flag! Red Flag! Red Flag! (IMO)

[BabyGirl]

BG - Those are things I think would help him. But what I'd be helping him do is see things the way I do, the way I want him to see them. So in a sense, am I trying to change him? And, after my last relationship where I felt like the mother and counselor (therapist) to him SO often, I'm just not sure I'm up for it with this one. It's like I do all this work, then we break up, and some other girl reaps the rewards of all my efforts. I'm just not willing to be his therapist.

I do see your point, in the thinking that you want him to see things as you see them, ( IE: Changing him or his thinking ) But I was hoping that if he tried it, seeing it in black and white and on paper,...
That he might see it as he would see someone else doing it, like if he saw his Buddies List of Negative or Pain VS Enjoyment of Life, written on Paper and maybe think Wow, my bud needs some help ..

As Seeker said " Red Flag " only been to his place once in 6 months ? I find that unusual unless you guys live a ways away and travel time and work schedules don't allow overnight Sharing of places.

Either way, it seems that you have a "feeling" that is bugging you about the relationship and I think it may be deeper than the BB game and the should have helped you more or the his feeling guilty for not helping and the aches and pains that now irritated you when it is constant & he seems to not want to make effort to heal them or at least not be a " Baby" about every day pains that most of us have and just learn to live with them ..

You have " Intuition " and it's niggling you, it is saying " Things are Good, BUT !!!!
And that is the Voice you must listen to. Your Inner Voice.. The one that has taken you this far in life and the one that will take you further..

[Ashlee T.]

We did a lot of talking yesterday. Funny how the day turned out actually. I had a half dump truck load of dirt being delivered to my house. They were supposed to give 24 hours notice (instead, gave 1 hour notice). BF had told me he'd make sure to be there to take my fence down, etc. So here we are yesterday, fighting, he's thinking I'm ending the relationship and asking me not to, etc......and the dirt company calls. So he took off early (yeah I couldn't believe it!), canceled his chiro appt, and got the fence down. The dump truck got MOST the dirt in the bed, but about 1/4 of it fell outside the bed on top of the fence that was laid down. Then it started coming a downpour. He stuck with me until after dark, shoveling mud until we could get my fence back up. He really came through for me yday and I made sure to tell him that and how much I appreciate it. I know part of his diligence was due to the fight, and due to him wanting to show me that he does want to help me etc. But regardless of why he did it, I would've been up pooh creek without a paddle if he hadn't been there to help. During all the shoveling, we talked alot. I've expressed my doubts to him with alot of honesty and he's asked me not to give up on the relationship yet, that he knows he's made mistakes and wants a chance to correct them. I didn't really respond with a "ok" or a "no" but just left it at that and ended the night.

At this point, part of me feelings like now that all this has been brought out, brutal honesty, etc he deserves a chance. The other part of me thinks "hmm it shouldn't be that hard". But I think I'm going to give it a shot and see what happens. If I quickly realize our discussions made no impact, I'll know my next step without hesitation.

[pretzel]

We did a lot of talking yesterday. Funny how the day turned out actually. I had a half dump truck load of dirt being delivered to my house. They were supposed to give 24 hours notice (instead, gave 1 hour notice). BF had told me he'd make sure to be there to take my fence down, etc. So here we are yesterday, fighting, he's thinking I'm ending the relationship and asking me not to, etc......and the dirt company calls. So he took off early (yeah I couldn't believe it!), canceled his chiro appt, and got the fence down. The dump truck got MOST the dirt in the bed, but about 1/4 of it fell outside the bed on top of the fence that was laid down. Then it started coming a downpour. He stuck with me until after dark, shoveling mud until we could get my fence back up. He really came through for me yday and I made sure to tell him that and how much I appreciate it. I know part of his diligence was due to the fight, and due to him wanting to show me that he does want to help me etc. But regardless of why he did it, I would've been up pooh creek without a paddle if he hadn't been there to help. During all the shoveling, we talked alot. I've expressed my doubts to him with alot of honesty and he's asked me not to give up on the relationship yet, that he knows he's made mistakes and wants a chance to correct them. I didn't really respond with a "ok" or a "no" but just left it at that and ended the night.

At this point, part of me feelings like now that all this has been brought out, brutal honesty, etc he deserves a chance. The other part of me thinks "hmm it shouldn't be that hard". But I think I'm going to give it a shot and see what happens. If I quickly realize our discussions made no impact, I'll know my next step without hesitation.

I think this is the best right now. I think we both know that you'll know fairly quickly not only in his actions, but his words also. Hopefully the tone of the conversations will start taking a "we" instead of a "me".