[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ok smack LOVE.

Mark.... Get it together, she snuggled you wanted love you went for sex, and felt like WT didn't happen, cried and well the end.

I again want to remind you to have intimacy NEEDS what she was trying to get? The hugs, holding nothing else, love.... you've gone for ages without it deal with that and it will happen beautifully you are honestly digging a grave...She sees that, the tears, ... She thought she had her soul mate again, you know the one that would just hold her because you love her.

Read and re-read x

[Guest]

CW, I deserved that one- I really did. I just felt like I was being rejected again and it hurt. I see your point and I'll take your advice. I really need to apologize for acting like an *** huh? Well I'm going to do that very thing in just a second.
Every once in awhile, well everyday, I need a swift kick in the seat of the pants! Thanks for that, I appreciate it. Honestly, I do. I'm a hard case, huh? Boy O Boy, am I ever a pain in the ***!

[Guest]

CW, I deserved that one- I really did. I just felt like I was being rejected again and it hurt. I see your point and I'll take your advice. I really need to apologize for acting like an *** huh? Well I'm going to do that very thing in just a second.
Every once in awhile, well everyday, I need a swift kick in the seat of the pants! Thanks for that, I appreciate it. Honestly, I do. I'm a hard case, huh? Boy O Boy, am I ever a pain in the ***!

[Jimbeau]

Get yourself a girlfriend on the side. That's how I and just about every Frenchman would deal with a wife like that.

[Ashlee T.]

Oh Mark Mark Mark........ You love your wife and you want things to be a certain way, and they're not, and it's frustrating. I know that. But you are, IMO being overly sensitive in some areas. She wanted you this morning, she was snuggled up to you, no undies, let things move forward, and her body didn't react. I've been there, and as a woman, there is NOTHING you can do about that. Instead of being sad about it, consider it a step forward, she WANTED you, she wanted closeness, she wanted YOU. Right?

But she didn't get you. What she got was your penis overriding your heart, and THEN what she got was you, disappointed in her, feeling bad about yourself, crying and once again doubting your marriage because the sex didn't happen. Was that more important than the intimacy? Than the closeness you could have with her in that moment? Yes.....it was.

What could that moment have been like otherwise? You could've held her, kissed her forehead, laid in silence and snuggled with her and shared an intimate moment. Or, if you felt like she wanted things to move to sex, and then tried and her body didn't react, stop, snuggle, kiss her, lay in silence and just enjoy her closeness. You're focusing on how YOU feel in these moments, but imagine how she feels too.

You know more about your marriage than any of us here do, so take it for what it's worth, but I think you really passed up a great opportunity with her this morning. Don't pass up the next one.

[WildChild]

Don't take this personally. Remember use it or lose it? She hasn't been using it and she is at the age when hormones are changing and that does change a woman's response levels. I'm about her age and have pretty much always been about the horniest thing going but I no longer get as wet, as easily. It doesn't mean that woman doesn't want it or doesn't feel desire but it takes a little more to get there. When she hasn't been having sex that adds to it.

Our bodies very efficiently decide that since we aren't using whatever, that doesn't need to be kept up. Like starting a mower or chainsaw that has sat for a bit too long, it may not fire right up but that doesn't mean you should toss it. You check the plug, try cleaning it with a little emory paper or toss in a new one, you try some starter fluid in the carb maybe you have to clean the carborator, rebuild it. You just keep tinkering and working until you find out what is going wrong.

You might get some good lube. Try some mutual masturbation, see if some very focused oral will get things going. She might have to get a little hormone gel that she can use vaginally to help rebalance things.

Our bodies are essentially machines and when we do not keep things moving, stretched, hydrated, and lubricated ,they don't work as well as they could.

[WildChild]

Get yourself a girlfriend on the side. That's how I and just about every Frenchman would deal with a wife like that.

Mark has made huge progress in his relationship in a fairly short time really.
This particular challenge may be essentially the female equivalent of ED. Would you recommend that women who's husband's have ED get a boyfriend on the side? I know some do.

[Guest]

That's just it, I can't be with a woman I'm not madly in love with. I assure everyone here- My wife is the woman of my dreams, I don't want any other woman. Sure they look nice, but I have a saying for this. The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, BUT, if I fertilize and dethatch my field, it will Always look better than any other. This is my mission, to make my field more green than any other.

Beautiful Disaster and WildChild as well as CHANDLERS WISH are spot on. I'll continue with their advice as it has served me very well thus far. Thank You Ladies!!!! She and I had talked after my last post, we are working on it and will get back to our romance. We are committed to each other and our marriage and took our vows seriously.

[Ashlee T.]

Glad to hear it Mark. It takes two, and I know you know you're not perfect, nor is she. I'm joyed to know you realize cheating is never the answer. Smart man you are.

[Texinator]

Mark, one thing that is REALLY important to remember is that sometimes cuddle time should be nothing other than cuddle time. Even if your missile is waiting for a launch sequence.

If you are too eager to turn cuddle time into sex, then she is going to start equating physical contact with a desire to have sex, and she will pull away completely. If you are too eager for sex in general, then she is going to start believing you are just interested in sex in general rather than in being intimate with her in particular.