[SaharaJim]

Tex...you may be exactly right. Put him through the MC Safety course last summer and he was right at the scene when I pulled out in front of the truck on the highway and got thrown 164 feet. He "knows" in a very real way just how "dangerous" these machines are. But they would be the same if he were "perfect". You get on a motorcycle you sign a "blank check" payable all the way up to dead. If you can't accept that you have no business on a bike.

[Hopeless Dork]

It sounds like you made your decision... but is there any reason he couldn't drive her to work , then use the vehicle for job searches... then pick her up from work? It seems like in a household with 1 car...isn't thats how most people do it? I mean they are a married couple after all...him getting up in the morning to drive her to work will take an effort on his part, and a sacrafice on hers (having to rely on him to be there on time to pick her up) this will force him to be responsible or to prove to her he can't be...

[Mes T]

My partner and I have one car between us, and the public transport here also sucks. I agree with the others Jim - let them struggle with the one car. I don't understand why your wife would "cry" with this decision? Surely she can see it for what it is - you, through "tough love," teaching these ADULTS to take care of themselves.

My gut is telling me that Sluggo is going to use that bike for recreational purposes anyway. Have you even thought of a back-up plan? What if all he does on that bike is ride around having fun, and a month later there's still no job?

I don't see any good in this Jim, I really don't.

[BabyGirl]

Speaking of septic tanks. Do you have any friends who work for the Septic Clean up Services or you should get on the phone and call each one in your area ( Septic Services that is ) from the phone book, see if they are hiring and tell them Sluggo needs some cleaning up and you think he would be a Good Hire, as he's very familiar with the " product ".

[Little]

It sounds like you made your decision... but is there any reason he couldn't drive her to work , then use the vehicle for job searches... then pick her up from work? It seems like in a household with 1 car...isn't thats how most people do it? I mean they are a married couple after all...him getting up in the morning to drive her to work will take an effort on his part, and a sacrafice on hers (having to rely on him to be there on time to pick her up) this will force him to be responsible or to prove to her he can't be...

This is exactly what I was thinking, plenty of couples work with only one car ... I did it for an extended period of time when both hubby and I had piece of poo cars and we had to decide which one was cheaper to fix each time they broke down. It wasn't easy, but it would definitely force them to work together and force her to see shortcomings!

[LanaBear]

This is exactly what I was thinking, plenty of couples work with only one car ... I did it for an extended period of time when both hubby and I had piece of poo cars and we had to decide which one was cheaper to fix each time they broke down. It wasn't easy, but it would definitely force them to work together and force her to see shortcomings!

Same here and we lived 18 miles out of town, in a town that had ZERO public transportation. It did have 2 taxi's though, I think.

They have to make due with what they have. It's a part of growing up and out of underneath your parents arms.

[SaharaJim]

I appreciate and basically agree with the advice given. I am reminded of my father when he had to face my mother and tell her that he had "promised" me a scooter/motorcycle as my "reward" for working on my grandparents place and being with my grandmother who had chronic "heart problems"; during one summer. My mother more than "hated" the idea of her child on a motorcycle and was furious with my father for even suggesting it. But my father; who I am sure had "second thoughts", hung in there and finally said "I SAID I would do it". End of discussion. Whatever his faults; my father's word was his bond. I got the bike; Honda CT90. I don't think my mother EVER forgave that one. I SAID I would do this. AND; yes my friends here are almost certainly right. I discussed it with my wife and she wanted to do this- so I said i would and I will not "break" my word on it.....even though I still think it is a "bad idea". Isn't that the "measure" or your word? If you keep it even when you no longer wish to.

[Texinator]

If I wanted to make an inappropriate joke, I could say, "Technically, you promised him only a bike and not that the brakes would be in working condition." But I'm not going to make such a joke.

[SaharaJim]

If I wanted to make an inappropriate joke, I could say, "Technically, you promised him only a bike and not that the brakes would be in working condition." But I'm not going to make such a joke.

Since you didn't tell the joke I didn't LMAO AND "technically" I didn't promise Sluggo anything. I told my wife that I would do this and she relayed the "offer". Lawyering.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well I understand, you gave you word and thats that... but going forward I think there is a big difference between helping fill an actual need for a child (even an adult child) and helping to fill a want. If they were hungry and needed food, that something they NEED. But it would be groceries and not money to eat out in fancy restaurants every night... know what I mean? If they are late on the rent about to be in the street, I could see offering shelter while they get on their feet... but it would be in that tiny guest bed room and not at a 4 star hotel.

If your daughter and sluggo had to share their car... they would have been inconvenienced, yes... sluggo would have had to wake up before he wanted and daughter would have to pack her lunch since she couldnt leave on her lunch break... small sacrafices in the bigger picture.

I understand and respect helping a child in NEED... but if your ultimate goal is to make them responsible...while you shouldn't let them suffer if you can help them avoid it... you don't have to necessarily make it a cake walk either.... because then neither of them will have a reason to be driven... or to push harder for self-sufficiency.

He quit his job because deep down he KNEW it would be okay... someone scared of being on the street, someone scared of losing their car, their home, not having food, etc... would not just up and quit a job... even if it SUCKED... they would wait until they had some other plan... his other plan is 'my wifes family will not let her down, therefore they won't let me down'... and its good to have that family support... but there are those that genuinly appreciate it, pay it back (even if not financially, but through helping around the house etc) and those that just expect it, hand out, demand it..