[CHANDLERS WISH]

That shows to me that he has a history of making things about him with little regard as to how it affects others.

People don't necessarily go out of their way to hurt people deliberately but alot of "gays and bi's" are very self centred, they have had to grow up "pretending" and being taunted if they come out, and they do take advantage of things in life.

He fell on you when he needed you...

He knew you were gaining feelings and played with your emotions therefore, he toyed with the idea, but then he changed his tune but the whole time, he knew you had feelings and didn't take that into consideration...

Given the way you are taking this, I can't help but wonder honestly, in the back of your mind whether or not you still carry a torch for him but deny that, as yes, you are over him but not the memories of how you felt, it's a good feeling why let it go until it's replaced by another? Which hasn't happened..

It's possible that he even thinks that himself, hense the distance again, however, when he wanted something, yet again he took with no consideration, no gift for thank you, no money exchange for effort, time, that's not a friendship which ever way you want to look at it.

I think what you are looking for you have found....Closure of all you gave and all you didn't get back in return and proof that it will never be given to you in any shape or form...Closure of this chapter, person in your life.

That is why you feel a load has been lifted.... You were prepared to accept the bi, accept that he wanted someone else, accept in your mind that was the reason, it was a man he wanted, it wasn't anything else, so friendship is fine yet, he continued to show the same pattern....When he wants.......what ever that want is.

Time to say "friendship is a real thing, I'm an aquaintance, I have nothing more to give to you in any fashion" ....

[kristalyn_04]

Given the way you are taking this, I can't help but wonder honestly, in the back of your mind whether or not you still carry a torch for him but deny that, as yes, you are over him but not the memories of how you felt, it's a good feeling why let it go until it's replaced by another? Which hasn't happened..

I won't deny that those memories are still there, very prominent, but I'm confident that the flame has died out. It was a good feeling when I thought it was mutual... then when he said it wasn't, it was nothing but a broken heart that I felt, and I wanted so much for the hurt to just go away. And it finally has. Of course I remember how I once felt about him, I may never forget, but I no longer feel that way. I am sure of this, because I don't think of him in the same way anymore. I no longer think about him throughout the day, I no longer have a desire to talk to him every chance I get, I no longer have dreams/fantasies about him, I no longer have a desire to be with him. More importantly, it's clear now that his character isn't what I thought, and we are not compatible... not even as friends. It's over.

Yes I needed closure, desperately, but I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want to lose the great friendship we once had, but it's long gone. So I guess the question now is, how should I handle him when he does contact? And what to do about his website at this point?

[WildChild]

Does hosting his web site cost you anything? Is it infringing on other things you might do?

[kristalyn_04]

Does hosting his web site cost you anything? Is it infringing on other things you might do?

Well, I'm paying for the hosting service on a yearly basis to have my own website up, but having his there doesn't cost me anything extra. There's plenty of space, I'm hosting another close friend's website for her too. The only thing is, this means I have full control over his site since it's residing on my server space. If he needs anything changed or updated, he would need to come to me. I also technically own the rights to his website since I designed and developed it for him, for free and under no contract. He only owns the domain name, and the work he has displayed on it, nothing else.

I had wrongly assumed we would always be friends and this wouldn't be a problem, but obviously now that has changed.

[Need_advice]

You seem to b concerned abt him even wen he is ignoring u. This is sign of true frndshp. You should try to contact him at least once. If you dont feel like speaking to him then send him a mail. C if he answers. Dont make assumptions. You really care for him n dat shows. Go ahead... All the best.

[oxy-moron]

I think it would be easier for you if you made clean break from him. While he has some limited association with you through the site he will be at the back of your mind. You need your mind clear so you can move forward.