[Little]

First off, he hasnt done any of those things! Secondly, they are just DATING, if they were married with kids, thats a different story. He should be allowed to have his adventures without the ol "your fun or me" ultimatum. Any woman that gives that ultimatum should be written off immediately as controlling and a detriment to your life. If she just let his bout of adventure run its course, he will be appreciative of her support and his freedoms.

I think the OP should consider less the ultimatum and more what this behavior means concerning her compatibility with the boyfriend. It's clear that he enjoys these activities, and if she sees any future with him - the married with children you mention - she should consider how they would continue to affect her in the future. People in general don't change with marriage, and though many people will change for their children, it isn't 100%. If these behaviors aren't what she wants in a mate, now or in the future, she should take her option to GTFO while it's still easy.

[Guest]

That's what the original post was about. She didn't say he DID any of these things, she said he was starting to WANT to do these things. She asked our advice based on her concerns about him doing those things.

I didn't say ultimatum. I said "COMPROMISE". You're barking up the wrong tree here Ken. You've given your opinion to the poster, so have we. End of story.

It was not my intention to imply you suggested the ultimatum, it was another poster. I was merely drawing attention to the fact that many posters have chastised this individual who has done nothing "wrong."

I agree wholeheartedly with what Little has said, and I merely wanted to discuss the compatibility issue vs. forcing a relationship and COMPROMISE.

Forgive me for barking up trees, for I am just a dog. This is the WRONG place for dogs, I see that now.

[Ashlee T.]

Hmm, of course you'd play that card. I'm quite certain you know that by "barking up the wrong tree" I meant, I never advised the OP to give an ultimatum, neither did most the other posters so why all uproar? If you're referring to men as dogs, there are many of them here at WH. We even have a mod who is a man which is pretty much unheard of on a womens forum. We love and embrace our male members. We don't, however, embrace an opinion being shoved down our throats. We can agree to disagree, and that should be enough. You find it necessary to continue slamming the site by saying things like "Sometimes this place is too much for a man like me", and "This is the WRONG place for dogs, I see that now" all because the majority of responders don't agree with you on this topic. It seems that you'd be wiser to agree to disagree than to blame your frustrations on gender.

Now, back to the OP, based on her last post it sounds like the two have talked, discussed this and have come to a common ground. My advice to her still stands, compromise, suggest things to do together that are adventurous and new and even include the friend. Then perhaps he can see that she's not trying to stifle his sudden need for adventure, only to keep him safe and legal in doing it.

[jns]

Your bf has to decided if he wants that life or a life with you. Do what is right for you - if it is more than you are comfortable with, consider breaking the relationship.

Still the same advice for you and your relationship.