[cindyj]

Hello everyone,
I need somebody's advise , in summary I entered a relationship with someone who was engaged and broke up with his fiancee 6 months before we got together, I thought it will be great , but it was full of problems some caused by his ex fiancee, others because of his actions sometimes , so we kept breaking up,I am the one who usually breaks up as he always did something that let me down strongly that I feel we can't continue together, we did that twice, each time he returns back with promises to change, then I gave him a last 3rd chance and trusted his words that he will fix many things and that we will have a new start, and we got engaged , but after engagement only 1 month and after a stupid argument HE broke up suddenly with me without even facing me, he called my family and informed them of his decision !! , I was shocked because he was begging me to return to him and thhow he felt his mistakes and wants to fix them, so how come suddenly he does this HARSH ending with no logic reason?, I even thought may be he was insisting to return back to me just to get back his lost ego by me breaking up , then after his gained his self esteem he dumped me ? Sometimes also I felt that may be I was a rebound relationship to get over his ex fiancee and that's why it ended so badly as most of rebounds ? knowing that our relation lasted for 1 year and 2 months .. But does rebounds involve many break ups and returns and finally engagement?

anyway, the problem now is that I tried to get over the story and the pain of the shock , and had no contact with him at all, and he also disappeared from my life completely for 4 months now

but suddenly now he is trying to show off again, but this time not as a good person like the previous break ups to gain me back, this time he is showing off as a complete jerk

he created a new fb account , added hundereds of girls, mainly those he cutt off with when we were together , and also to my surprise adding many people from my workplace who are no so close to him!

he is showing off as a completely different foolish person, posting foolish status updates , overly funny photos of him, even his language with people is like a jerk and a womanizer..

I started even to notice that some girls here at my work who are very close to him are like avoiding me ..

So why is he acting jerk? is he trying to annoy me and talk behind my back ? why he wants to show off to people like a player and a cool person? and why keeping contact with people at my workplace?

I need your advise, and thanks for allowing me to share this with you

[Claret]

You are out of his life now. Quit looking at his facebook account, quit counting the number of girls he has listed as friends, or the number of photo's showing how he is supposedly having a great time. He and his previous to you fiance broke up for a reason, you and he broke up several times for several different reasons - move on, get your own life and continue on as if he didn't have space in your mind. He'll move on to the next girls and won't be bothering with you or your life any longer.

[cindyj]

You are out of his life now. Quit looking at his facebook account, quit counting the number of girls he has listed as friends, or the number of photo's showing how he is supposedly having a great time. He and his previous to you fiance broke up for a reason, you and he broke up several times for several different reasons - move on, get your own life and continue on as if he didn't have space in your mind. He'll move on to the next girls and won't be bothering with you or your life any longer.

Thanks Claret, I am not watching his life, I separated myself completely since we broke , he is the one who is adding people in my workplace and that's how I noticed his account and posts on their walls ..etc , so what he is showing to them as being a jerk, and their attitude with me also is my concern now, not he as a person ..

[KMonte85]

Report him to facebook. You can report his posts as harrassment and he will probably get removed from facebook. Once you report him, block him so you can no longer see what he posts on mutal friends walls, status updates, etc. It will be like he doesn't exist to you and you don't exist to him in the world of facebook.

In the meantime, you may want to have a quiet conversation with the coworkers you're concerned with. Talk to the person(s) you have the best relationship with. Peacefully tell them that you noticed your ex fiance is saying mean things on their walls and you want to apologize for that and let them know that you had nothing to do with it, he's doing it out of hard feelings towards you, that is part of the reason you're happily NOT with him anymore, and you've reported him to the FB authorities for harrassment. Then suggest they remove him from their FB friends and block him as you did. You may want to ask them to spread the word on your behalf to whomever else they know who has been affected by this man.

He sounds immature and a bit unstable. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you called the authorities and notified them of the cyber bullying as well. That may sound extreme, but it doesn't hurt to have an official record of his bad behavior should you ever need to get a restraining order or something along those lines.

[Claret]

Is he actually saying something directly against you? If he is I must have missed it in your original post. Facebook will not do anything regarding harassment charges unless he is directly involving you in his conversations, topics or is making threats or derogatory statements about you. You could as KMonte85 says talk to the people at work and try to explain the situation, but IMO this may make it worse if he has their allegances. If history repeats itself (and for him it sounds as if it does) then you won't have to defend yourself for too long or concern yourself with his actions. He will do the same thing to the new people in his life as he did to you and his previous girlfriend. Yes, by all means block his account from showing up on your page. If he is involved with another person that is your friend, then block them as well until it all settles down. In the meantime, continue on with your life as if he never crossed paths with you.

[KMonte85]

You can absolutely report harrassing comments made on FB, whether they are about you or towards someone else. If he's saying "jerky" things on your friends' pages, then that's harrassment and well within the guidelines FB has for reporting.

[Darling]

Wow I think we dated the same guy lol or type of guy. My ex did the same thing! Added a ton of my friends, started flirting and acted like a big jerk. If I commented on a mutual friends status he had to comment on it. It was so hard to handle, I had been out of his life for a year an then bam he was all over my wall!

After awhile he stopped posting as often and I guess got Bord, moved on, grew up or who knows maybe he got arrested

Right now I think he's trying to put himself back in your thoughts, make you jealous. After awhile of you not giving a .... He will probably stop.

[Claret]

KMonte85, I think it would be considered harassment only if if were about the original poster. If he's just being a jerk and is not actually mentioning her, then there would be no basis for reporting him. I agree that if he is by name or inference that would directly identify the original poster, that facebook would then do something. If he's just saying jerky things, and it bothers the original poster, then what's the harm?

[KMonte85]

I see what you're saying, Claret, but you are mistaken that you can only report harrassment if you are the person being harrassed. If you see that someone is posting rude or jerky things on another friend's wall whether or not it is directed at you, that is a reportable offense and Facebook does take it seriously. I just want to make sure that point is clear.

[Claret]

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree here because if he is just being a jerk and posting rude or jerky things on another's wall then he may just be being a jerk. If he doesn't name names, or say something derogatory then what can be reported. If the person whose wall he posts on doesn't complain then why should someone else?