[Stillness]

I feel like bubbles. I kinda follow the golden rule on that one. I value my privacy and respect the privacy of others, so I've never done it. I feel like everybody should have their own little world that they control access to. At the same time, if I felt like my wife was being unfaithful I have the right to investigate. I don't know how good of a snooper I'd be. I just don't think I have it in me to sneak around and go through someone's stuff.

[Guest]

Megan102

From someone who has been cheated on in the past, my ex wife did it several times and ended up marrying "door number three" (the last one that I was aware of)....The only way I know on how to get over the trust issues that still linger within you is to simply decide to trust again.

Like flicking a switch. If you don't it may continue to cause you pain and problems that you shouldn't carry forward from a past relationship to a current one.

History brought forward is the poison that doesn't allow us the opportunity to enjoy the current.

Flick the switch Megan102. If I can do it, so can you.

[Minnie11]

Snooping.

Snooping is addictive. Once you start and you find stuff (and you always will, because you have had a bad gut feeling which is why you started it in the first place), you can't stop. You'll be obsessed until you make a decision to either repair the relationship, or call it quits. If you repair it, you'll have to be honest with your partner about what you know and - maybe - how you know. And even then you'll never trust them again completely, which is why the obsessive checking-on-them-cycle will continue. It's a unhealthy cycle and it'll drive you nuts. Yea, I've been there done that and unless you tell the cheater off, you'll be in the cycle forever. New relationship....no relationship....whatever it is, you'll win by heaving a healthier mind.

[Sunlight72]

Nope, I don't snoop.

Haven't and won't. I don't see the upside...

If you snoop and find nothing incriminating, you still don't know everything is good, right? Maybe you just didn't find the evidence yet. And so it goes...

When I don't trust any longer, the good part of the relationship is done

[rcoreyus]

From my point of view, if you don't feel you can trust someone, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. If you snoop and find something, then you should leave. If you snoop and don't find anything, you can't know that the haven't just hidden things well - so you still don't trust them and again should leave.

I don't see any situation in which snooping will make things better

[bubbles32]

Its wierd because asked my girly friends and guy friends and women said that if they thought something was going on theyd snoop but the men said id be up straight ask the questions to see what answers i got before doing anything like that. Are women naturally suspicous? i would just come out with it. One girl said shes has a tracker on her pc and laptop so she know what hes typing and who its to. i said you have to much time on your hands smh

[elephantgun]

In my last relationship, I snooped because he did. I wondered why he thought I was hiding something - since I was upfront and honest with him. However, it made me more curious about what he might have to hide, so I did end up snooping on him and found out that he had cheated on me. The truth hurts, but sometimes it's the only way to find out. You should try to be fairly sure of something going on before you snoop.

Now, in my current relationship, I've snooped once or twice because of what happened in the last one. But I found that most of what I found were things he would've told me anyway.

So here's my opinion...if your partner is snooping on you when you have nothing to hide or when everything is going fine, there might be a reason to worry. Often times people snoop because they've been sneaking around themselves (not always, though!). But, if you can avoid it, you can save yourself a lot of time spent worrying.

[Stillness]

Its wierd because asked my girly friends and guy friends and women said that if they thought something was going on theyd snoop but the men said id be up straight ask the questions to see what answers i got before doing anything like that. Are women naturally suspicous?

Nice with the informal poll! It makes sense. I was thinking the exact same thing as your guy friends. I know my wife too well for her to stand in front of me and conceal the truth. So why snoop?

I don't think it's that women are more suspicious. Their method of dealing with suspicion is different. It's just nature. Maybe culture too. It takes a lot more for a woman to confront her man head on than vice versa. I recently learned that women poison much more often. It's probably the same deal. Women tend to be more passive aggressive. Also, I think that culturally men are viewed as cheaters, so maybe there is more suspicion.