[azalea]

As everyone else says, follow your heart! If you just don't feel attracted to him, that's okay. For all you know, he could end up being your best friend for life, and that would be a wonderful thing, since you have so much in common. Sometimes attraction finds a way; for me, I really never find guys physically attractive, until I become emotionally attached to them. The more I like them, the more attractive they seem to me. But when it comes to picking partners, only you know what you want for yourself :] Don't force yourself to "go for it." Only go for someone when you really feel drawn to them and really want to be close to them. He might like you, but don't let that make you feel an obligation to like him back.

[mchoff]

I've been there!`

Hi,
So I seriously joined this board JUST to talk to you about this! It breaks my heart to see you struggle with this because I have been there...

Last year I met this guy at a bar while i was on a date and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY. I knew there was something special about him, but the problem was--- I found him to be very very unattractive. I knew that after 3 dates that he was the man I was going to marry (he knew after the first night we met) However, it was really hard because I wasn't attracted to him. He gave me everything I could possibly need and literally wanted to be with me SO BADLY.. for months i went on dates with other guys (i even DATED another guy) and he just never really left my side- even after telling him I wasn't attracted to him

HOwever, after about 4 months of just KNOWING each other and hanging out a bunch, my life took a bad turn for the worse, i developed an eating disorder, my parents went thru an UGLY divorce, my mother called child services on my father and younger siblings, I was working two jobs and taking night classes, basically I was a huge wreck. He did nothing but support me and apparently cried for me once after I had told him some of my problems. He didn't have to do any of that stuff, he wasnt my boyfriend, i was still going on other dates and he KNEW i wasn't attracted to him.... anyway... after about 8 months of all this, I started to fall super in love with him and basically ended up taking our physical relationship very slowly until finally I wanted to be in a full blown relationship with him! I'm so so so attracted to him now, I love him more than life its self, and after the recent death of my best friend and how well he handled it, I know hes the man for me!

I know its hard not to be shallow- i was the most shallow girl out there!- but at the end of the day, its the person who is going to stick around thru all your sh**t and still love you when things get really hard that matters. I promise that having a MAN to stick by your side when the chips are down is a THOUSAND times more important than having a nice piece of arm candy... the benefit of having a great and supportive guy is that no matter how objectively unattractive he may be, to YOU he BECOMES the most handsome man in the world <3 I hope this helps.. if it was unclear please DM me or something, because this is an issue so close to my heart- i hope it works out

[jns]

Love is a very interesting thing.

[Magnetism]

I feel that being with a person that you're not attracted also harms them. I can imagine it would be hurtful for a man to know that his partner isn't attracted to him. It also harms the intimacy of the relationship. I don't think your preferences are selfish or shallow, and personality can impact sexual attraction anyway. Since you're not feeling it now, you're probably not going to feel it later.

[canadien]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m so grateful for all the advice. Thank you all for your feedback. So here’s the update:

The more and more I hang out with him, I’m realizing that even though he’s the not best looking guy out there, everything else about him is wooing the pants off of me – don’t worry not literally. But he’s just such a great guy, and understanding. I can be me when I’m around him – something that’s hard to do around other people. The more I hang out with him, honestly I notice less and less about what he “lacks”. We recently went to dinner – aka a date - and an evening museum event together. I ASKED him btw It was wonderful.

As for me kissing him. Although I stated that I had no desire or intention of kissing him, I’m finding that the more I spend time with him, the more attractive he is to me, in both a physical and emotional kind of way. HELLLLO love goggles.

[jns]

Attractiveness comes in many flavors.

[Magnetism]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m so grateful for all the advice. Thank you all for your feedback. So here’s the update:

The more and more I hang out with him, I’m realizing that even though he’s the not best looking guy out there, everything else about him is wooing the pants off of me – don’t worry not literally. But he’s just such a great guy, and understanding. I can be me when I’m around him – something that’s hard to do around other people. The more I hang out with him, honestly I notice less and less about what he “lacks”. We recently went to dinner – aka a date - and an evening museum event together. I ASKED him btw It was wonderful.

As for me kissing him. Although I stated that I had no desire or intention of kissing him, I’m finding that the more I spend time with him, the more attractive he is to me, in both a physical and emotional kind of way. HELLLLO love goggles.

In that case, you have your answer. Glad to hear it's worked out well.

Enjoy.