[ItsASecret]

You are asking a broad question with no real answer. If you ask 100 women you will get 100 different answers.

For me I was interested in my bf's intelligence. I am not shallow so looks do not come first for me. The number one thing for me personally is if a guy sounds like he is dumb, cannot put together a coherent sentence or is obviously lacking in the knowledge department I will not even bother. It does not matter to me if he is "less than" average looking or a Brad Pitt contender for looks, if he is not exhibiting some form of intelligence I get bored. As a woman another turnoff for me is arrogance, if a guy thinks he is "all that" and believes his ego trumps anything else I will roll my eyes.

[Stillness]

You are trying to distill something as complex as every woman is different into a few answers. My answer would be: "beats me."

I don't think every woman wants an abuser.

Seriously, this is a question I wonder about a lot. I think that with women, everyone can recognize their beauty. But straight men can't always grasp what is sexually attractive about men, even if they can appreciate male beauty. I often ask my wife if she thinks a certain person is attractive and her answers are different from what I expect. What I've noticed is that she seems to be more attracted to my actions than my physical form. So if I fix her car, it turns her on. I think the male body is more utilitarian, so it sorta makes sense that a woman would like the utility. I think that some aspects of attraction are going to be universal - health, clear skin, confidence, etc. Some things are, of course, individual. But my guess is that women are going to tend more towards being attractive to utility than us.

[Guest]

Guys who listen and tell no??

[Guest]

hey t2d

I would say at this point in my life, what attracts me the most is a man
who's not afraid to discuss anything.Open, honest and confident enough
to speak his mind about his emotions and dreams about life.

im **** like that but nothing is happening.............

[time2discover]

being attracted to someone and keeping the attraction going is a much
different story. I cannot answer for your wife but don't give up!

[Rhonda14]

Making a marriage work is work for sure.

[Trisha23]

On the first impression, women wants guys who are gentlemen and know how to respect women.

[pluck77]

One of my girlfriends recently went out on a first date with a guy who surprised her. This guy was completely open and vulnerable from the get go and brought up topics that aren't typically used on first dates. The guy talked about how he, even though being in his 30's, was still a virgin. He is a strong Christian but feels like a loser or he is inadequate because the furthest he has ever gotten with a woman was second base, while many other Christians his age, who are single, both male and female, have had sex with at least one person.

He also openly shared with her how he has trouble with masturbation and lust. Being a Christian he felt that he was able to be open and be vulnerable with her. He didn't share this information with her so that she would in turn share her experiences with him. He told her that he has no problem being completely open and vulnerable with women from the get go and that is who he is.

Anyways, my girlfriend was delightfullly surprised and felt something she had never felt on a first date before. That is comfort. She felt this guy was attractive because this guy was opening up to her, and not with traditional topics -- weaknesses and vulnerability as opposed to the traditional things men open up with -- strengths and competencies.

My girlfriend felt comfortable sharing with him that she has slept with 7 guys in her life and also struggles with masturbation. She is 32 and she is also a Christian and isn't happy about her past, but realizes that she wouldn't be the woman she is had she not been through what she has been through. The fact that she struggles with sex and masturbation allowed the two of them to openly bond with one another at a level that wouldn't have happened on a first date had he not been comfortable in his own shoes to bring up such topics.

[rcoreyus]

Of course some women would find that much openness on a first date really creepy. In any interpersonal relationships being sensitive to the other persons response is critical so that you can steer away from topics that start to make them uncomfortable.