[CHANDLERS WISH]

To be honest. If someone constantly makes you un-happy, un-loved, not worthy, not attractive, not sexy.... there is no need to be scared of losing them. It's called "used to" , "fear of starting again" ....

More than likely he started watching this way before you entered his life... I don't know how old you are but even if you are 21, he still more than likely was watching it to a large degree even for 12 months.

Porn can be an addiction.. Ask yourself there are other things he does that shows an addictive personality.

This is affecting your relationship, even if you did sleep with him you would feel inadequate. Most guys don't really want a porn star as a girlfriend/wife and just use it for a "quick fix", which erks me somewhat if it interferes in a relationship... Intimacy is bonding... Sure it is "work" takes time, but it is also beautiful and enjoyable... He needs a reality check on "relationships" and you need to not go soft on this I don't think, you do need to communicate as an Adult but you also need to ensure he realises what he may lose.

[mandy85]

Im 28 hes 37 He started yrs ago. Has admitted last year that he had a problem but never did anything to change. I just wanted to make sure that it wasnt me making myself feel this way. I hate goin to work if hes home. It hurts and im tired of cryin. I want him to wamt me like i do him. Is this wrong. Should i just ignore it? I dont know.

[time2discover]

To help you see it with a better light, remember he's had this problem
for a while, so it's not about you. It's him!
But wanting him to want you, is not wrong and he still has to do something
to fix it. Or else, you can tell him that rather than feeling alone, you're gonna
find someone who wants to share sex with you and he can move in with his
partner, "the screen". If that doesn't snap something, he's not ready to do
anything about this.

[Guest]

Im pretty sure the man i love is addicted to porn. Its on the computor and his cell phone. In one day more then 70 pages. I love him but im tired of crying and being degraded. I know he does it cause we dont have sex on those days. Its like im not enough or good. Please tell me how to deal with this emotionally. Please dont judge me.

Sorry.. Mandy i askd wrong the question. Possibly consider u need to move out. ask ur folks to help u move out? U may not want to tell him that. Wait until he goes to work/..
Hi mandy..

[mandy85]

Thanks it makes me feel alot better. Ive texted and hand written notes about this but it seems to make it worse. Thats y im scared the face to face aint gonna work

[CHANDLERS WISH]

A person with an addiction will NOT admit it, usually, definately NOT want to change it... Hense why he gets mad and it seems to make things worse.

What you need to establish sweet, is if he "BELIEVED" and truly believed that you would leave him over it.... And, you may have to do so (if you love someone set them free if they come back to you, they are yours, if they don't they never were), then and only then I believe, he will seek help.

Sheez, 37 ... is a long time of viewing porn and doing it for yourself. This is not a simple thing...

[Guest]

hi Mandy i haven't read this completely

i can say for sure u r not at fault,

i do watch porn but not having my wife in the other room

u can check if he is into some sort of perversion that porn gives a lot, which he may not reveal it to u

ANYTHG that disrupts personal life of both (quite obvious) or professional life then it needs medical attention (counselling)

[Guest]

even if it is watching some match or with FB, it needs medical attention

[mandy85]

Thank u all. Uve eased my mind and ill try and talk to him. Any advice is alwayswelcome. Thanks again. God bless

[Guest]

u will be fine