[rcoreyus]

I

When you have the chance and are laying with her in your arms try to finger her. Try to wake up her sexual parts. Make sure she is good and moist with lubrication and gently try to bring her back to life. Tell her you do not want penetration but just some hot fingering. Try to wake up her body. In the meantime you take care of yourself. These are the times that a man must get stimulated to keep his erectile powers. Don't let them fade. Masturbate at least once a week. It is important.

She is the one who always wants to hurry up and get to intercourse. I do all sorts of nice things to her - from back, neck, foot, hand massages, kisses all over, etc. She seems to get bored with all this and just want intercourse. Always initiates sex just before bedtime - then says "its late, need to do somethign quick". She almost always orgasms (I think it is real), we use a vibrator in addition to intercourse. Then it is over and she doesn't want more sex for often a month or more. (and no, once she has finished, she doesn't want anything else - I've tried).

It is very strange. Usually it is the woman who wants long intimate sex, and the man who just wants to get it over with.

There have been times when we were in some wonderfuly romantic spot, lovely hotel room - and the weather outside to terrible for any normal person to open the door. Rather that accept my offer of spending the morning in bed, she will come up with something that we should be doing.

Other than sex though, she is quite affectionate - just almost never wants anything more than a hug and a kiss. When we do have sex, she seems to enjoy it, be happy afterwards, but then not be interested again for a long time. This has always been true, just over the years we've gone from maybe 3 times a month to once a month.

[C]

She is the one who always wants to hurry up and get to intercourse. I do all sorts of nice things to her - from back, neck, foot, hand massages, kisses all over, etc. She seems to get bored with all this and just want intercourse. Always initiates sex just before bedtime - then says "its late, need to do somethign quick". She almost always orgasms (I think it is real), we use a vibrator in addition to intercourse. Then it is over and she doesn't want more sex for often a month or more. (and no, once she has finished, she doesn't want anything else - I've tried).

It is very strange. Usually it is the woman who wants long intimate sex, and the man who just wants to get it over with.

There have been times when we were in some wonderfuly romantic spot, lovely hotel room - and the weather outside to terrible for any normal person to open the door. Rather that accept my offer of spending the morning in bed, she will come up with something that we should be doing.

Other than sex though, she is quite affectionate - just almost never wants anything more than a hug and a kiss. When we do have sex, she seems to enjoy it, be happy afterwards, but then not be interested again for a long time. This has always been true, just over the years we've gone from maybe 3 times a month to once a month.

Looks like we are alive again here

First try and get her back on being sexual twice a month even if you have to plead with her. She is getting into a very bad habit. Even push getting her back to three times a month. She should have her doctor check her libido but I doubt she will do this. She seems satisfied with the way things are. A light went on when I read your post and you said you took a vibrator to bed too. This just may be your rival for her affections. If she is satisfying herself with this, then she does not need you. A vibrator for a women is one of the most satisfying inventions in the world. Praise God for them. They take you to a place that man cannot reach. Deep inside us. They allow us to find our inner lust and have an orgasm that is mind boggling. No man can rival them yet I love the closeness of my husband in making love and he pleasures me more than he will ever know. I do not use Eric often as I want to stay horny for my sailor.

I find it hard to imagine a woman not wanting the foreplay before sex but I will admit that we all are different. You sound like you have tried so hard and you love her so much. Keep trying and even offer to use a vibrator on her in between those monthly sex dates. Maybe you can turn her on doing this. Anything to get her naked and exposed and not be inhibited about sex. Tell her you need her sexually. Tell her you are growing older and need the closeness of sexual intercourse in order to assure you of not losing your potency. She should be helping you at this age in life with oral sex on you in order to have you be all that she will need in the future. I would imagine you are in your 40's and a man must be helped through these precious ages as a woman is helped. It just is so important.

I wish I could tell you more but for some reason she does not need what I need and that is a lot of passion and sex in a relationship. Too bad she does not like to drink as that just may loosen her up. I hope that all goes well for you. You truly are a wonderful and patient man.