[NeverStopStriving]

My boyfriend went back to Canada because his visa expired. He told me before he left he is trying to get back here as soon as he could. I was supposed to meet him up the day before he left but he didn't answer my calls or return my text. He left Tuesday and I haven't heard from him at all I'm going crazy over here because I don't k ow anyone one else to reach out to him. His phone is off. I've made him show me his house before but never let me inside because he had to "respect" his aunt. I was wondering if I should go there and ask her if she's heard from him. He's 37 and is a very independent and private person. I'm 25 an we have dated for a little more than half a year. I love him and am afraid I won't hear from him again. I've been quite attached a few weeks prior so would this be too much if I show up at his aunts house? He said he was going to call but it's been 4 days!

[Stillness]

I think that after 6 months it's fair to go to his home and inquire about him. If his aunt was old fashioned, then maybe she didn't feel that men and women should be in the house alone together. This has nothing to do with that. Nothing in this world would stop me from walking up to that door, unless I thought the person had left me. Canada is not a third world country where he can't get word back.

[jns]

Its possible that he was super busy before he left. Or something happened to his phone. I would give it a week or two, then find out if he is OK.

[NeverStopStriving]

Thank you for your advices.

I went to his aunt's house this past Saturday. Turns out no one was home so I guess his aunt and uncle went with him. This was after I went to the house down the street that i thought was his. Long story short, he never let me see his house before until I made him take me there one day after dinner. He drove by so quickly I didn't get a chance to see exactly which house was his. I'm still not sure if that's even his house because as weird as this sounds, it was a trailer park that i went to. He drives an AMG Mercedes and owns two businesses. I meet him from one that I used to worked at. He's always given me money to help me out but yet, I was speechless going to his "home." This is what I meant by him being so private. I was thinking that he was embarrassed to show me and was waiting til we dated a little longer to actually find out the truth but after that trip, I was even more confused.

He finally called me Sunday night at 3 am. Told me that he missed me and asked if I went out with other guys while he was away. I assured him I didn't as weird as that sounds also, he always ask me that. He told me he missed me and didn't talk longer 10 minutes. He didn't bring up why he left without saying bye. We talk as normal but something tells me that something is totally off. I looked up the number he called me from and it has a country code from a different country than the one he said he was in!!!!!!!!! He went back to his hometown all the way across the world and lied to me about being in CANADA! I am so confused and in shocked I don't even know what to do. How could he think that I would not find out that he's not where he said he is? I don't understand. He even told me that he started the process of "renewing his visa" but still don't know when he would be back. When he called me at 3 AM it would be 3pm over there. He had told me before that his aunt wanted him to "go back to his country" after Canada and I told him I didn't understand why he would need to and didn't want him to go. I was already trying my best to have trust for him out of love so that would've been a deal breaker for me. He assured me he wasn't gonna go.

So now I'm sitting here thinking and still trying to wrap my head around his lie. How could someone lie to their girlfriend about something like this? I do believe he loves me after all the things he would do for me in the past 6 months, effort wise. I've never got to meet his friends nor does he want to meet mines. I can see that's how he is because he is always busy with his two businesses and rarely have time so that wasn't a BIG BIG problem for me at the time. He's recently lost both businesses and lost lots of money. I don't know what to do, should I cut my losses and move on no matter the reason why he did all that he did or just call him or wait til he calls me and confront him about it? As of right now, he probally know that I would look up the number and know he lied. But for what I don't understand. Maybe his visa expired and he had to go back there? Or maybe it has nothing to do with his visa that he told me about when we first dated. He said he had to go back to Canada as that's where his citizenship is.

This relationship is so shady, I don't even know if I should let go or still trust that he loves me and doing everything in our best interest. Please, what would you do if you were in my situation.

[jns]

He could be in legal trouble or trying to avoid a creditor who is after him.

If he is from another country and has citizenship in Canada, he could have dual citizenship and have to renew the other passport.

[Effortless]

I'm sorry to inform you sweetie
But you got caught up in his web of lies , so please stop making excuses for him and realize that most likely he was lying all along and made up a great story to tell you. However, I can say this, you can rest assure with the sedation that if you take this experience as a lesson learned, it will be hard for the next loser to pull one over your eyes the next time.
Until then,
stay blessed

[Effortless]

I'm sorry to inform you sweetie
But you got caught up in his web of lies so please stop making excuses for him and realize that most likely he was lying all along and made up a great story to tell you. However, I can say this, you can rest assure that if you take this experience as a lesson learned it will be hard for the next loser to pull one over your eyes the next time. Now you asked what you should do right? Well you have one of many options and since you mentioned something about love, i'm assuming that your feelings are all tide up in this fiasco...therefore one will probably be in denial for awhile and wait things out hoping and praying that the story he told you is the truth, you'll make several attempts to try and find him aka by doing what you did in the past
THINGS NOT TO DO
1. Visit his "former place of residence"
2. Calling old numbers
3. Hoping he really isn't a loser or seeking out for him or dating guys that remotely remind you of him
4. Day dreaming about his return and the restoration of your relationship
All of these things will not work, unless by some miracle he really does return and turns out to be an integress man after all, but I highly doubt it...
So you should,
1. Accept that you were lied to
2.Make up your mind to learn a valuable lesson from this experience
3. Make the decision to forgive him and yourself
4. Learn to love yourself in a balanced way
5. Help others less fortunate than you , crazy idea, but it takes your mind off of your problems and it works!!!
Until then,
stay blessed

[NeverStopStriving]

I don't know if I'm just naive enough to think that he's just like that as a person and doesn't mean too much harm to me. At first I thought about just letting him go but I do miss him a lot. I still hope that we can be together soon like you said I shouldn't be and I'm trying my best to forgive him and myself. I've deleted his numbers but What should I do when he calls me? Do I confront him about it? Ask him if he cheated on me already? I don't know why but I feel like his personality is jsut very independent and private. He doesn't tell his family a lot of his life either. I love him and want to commit to him. Right now I am confused if I should break up with him when he calls or just confront him and hope he'll tell me the truth.

I might've made a mistake by going out with someone else. I have no trust that he isn't already cheating on me with someone else being half way across the world but I have no prove. I've never trusted anyone. I'm not planning to tell him about this other guy as it is a one time thing I did because I was so hurt to found out about his lie. I know it's not an excuse but it makes me feel like I'm not used by him, even though he did so much for me the past 6 months. He's treated me better than any guy I've dated adn I don't want to give up on him. Please let me know what you think I should do when he calls. I do plan on telling him about the other guy but just now while he's out of the country. Thank you once again.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I have a girlfriend (new) here in Aussie Land, she met a "Pilot" who stated he had never bought anyone home to meet his parents as they would not approve. He is from England,

Has told her that he loves her, that he has to go to America now to work and so doesn't know if he will see her or not before he leaves because it would hurt.

Then, 3am in the morning much like your "boyfriend" he would ring her, tell her he missed her wanted to see her tomorrow.

Tomorrow would come and "sorry, I'm tired"...

Took her to expensive restaurants - stayed with her at her house - .....

Married.

As far as I'm concerned that is the story and possibly is really the story with yours too.

She is 27, he 37.

If after 6 months and you know nothing of someone did he even consider you may have thought/felt he as in trouble, an accident etc.

Yet nothing like that occurred. He just decided to call at 3am 4 days later.

Have a think on that.

[NeverStopStriving]

I broke up with him for 3 weeks now. I found out today that I am pregnant. I have only slept with the new guy 2 times before deciding that I can't be in a rebound relationship. The last time I had my period was on may 30th. I had sex on the 5th and 13th of jun. on the 5th is too soon for me to ovulate according to my nurse but on the 13th I took an emergency contraceptive pill. Can u please advise me if its my ex that I am pregnant with or the new guy. I can't believe this is happening but I won't find out until I have my ultrasound next Thursday. Thank you so much!