[DreamP346]

I have experienced loss of friendship, not necessarily with a loss, but with other life changes. I also have friends I introduced who have been together for 12 years now, but they don't even acknowledge I was the cause of their relationship. I had a friend who moved away and make efforts to stay in touch with another mutual friend I introduced, but not me. What I have realized is that those friends really aren't your true friends. Not saying they are bad, just they are not YOUR true friends. They have become true friends with other people. It requires a lot of soul searching and accepting the person you are. I have come to accept that I am that slightly weird person who has difficulty making friends. I don't know what it is about me, but people don't connect to me. It may be because I am very guarded and don't let people in. In some ways, you remind me of myself always being considerate, not looking to other people for support, even when you really want that support, you are putting a strong face forward and trying to not burden others with your problems.

The way I deal is by having only a handful of friends I actually make an effort with and the rest are just acquaintances. This way I don't take it personally when these acquaintances don't make an effort. I have a hard time making good friends, but once I find these like minded souls, I stick with them, some of the past 20 years. Usually these are like myself, not the most popular person with strange friends.

Now don't get me wrong. Even though I call myself weird, I'm not a weirdo. I am well spoken, have a corporate job, dress fashionably and go out with "friends" for drinks. I just don't make friends like the usual folks that have girls-night-out or people they talk to on the phone every week just to gab. It's really about accepting that you are difference.