[kat2008]

I'll start right from the beginning so it makes sense. I was in a car accident back in December 2013, I travel two hours from my home town to another for my job. After the accident my boyfriend suggested that I resign from my job until we save up and move to that town, I thought about this and decided it would be best. So since I quit my job I've been a stay at home girlfriend ( not very exciting), I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work and take care of our two dogs. And my boyfriend takes care of the bills and finances. Over the past few months its been thrown back in my face that I don't work, and since I don't work I have to do everything. This really upsets me, as I don't think its fair at all. I though relationships were supposed to be about team work. And ours, isn't at all. After cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking dinner, making his lunch and taking care of the dogs, I'm tired at the end of the day, and I don't feel like having sex. And boy does that ever cause an argument. He doesn't think that house work is that tiring or takes very long. And he always says '' well I worked today, you didn't. If anyone should be tired its me''. Which I think is complete bullcrap! When I did work full time, I still did all the house work and stuff. And his excuse then as to why he couldn't help me do anything was '' I make more money than you, so I shouldn't have to help put''. Now he says '' I work, you don't, so you have to do everything if you want your bills paid''. So no matter what I say or do lately he's always made, and lately we don't have sex anymore. And he blames me for that, everything is always my fault. He doesn't help me do anything on his days off and now I'm starting to resent him over it and become depressed. And I have brought these issues up to him and all he does is get mad, yell and scream and then I leave the room crying my eyes out, after a few minutes he comes and says '' so pare we could now?''. Nothing ever gets solved. Ever. So I'm at the point where I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be great!! Thanks!!

[Sonny]

Bugger out and call it even.

In short run for your life.

[Trixareforkids]

Kat, I agree with Sonny. Your BF sounds like he likes the control more than he likes you, time to move on.

[Sonny]

So no matter what I say or do lately he's always made, and lately we don't have sex anymore. And he blames me for that, everything is always my fault. He doesn't help me do anything on his days off and now I'm starting to resent him over it and become depressed.

Do the math:

No love + All blame = resentment & depression!

And you're resentment & depression are you acting normally to an abnormal (unhealthy) situation...which won't get any better for you.

Which is why you have to tell him Aloha on a steel guitar.

No drama, no tears....and maybe just a short note telling him you went out for cigarettes.

Then go long....all the way long...and don't look back...except to wonder how never to fall into such a trap again.

[Millner]

Always be independent and do what you want, not what someone else wants, especially if it's just a boyfriend. Now, you are stuck essentially and he is in control which is where he wants you. :/ Get out and get a job before it gets worse.

[jen1447]

Yep. It almost sounds like he played you by convincing you to quit your job, and now he's got you where he wants you and in the situation he prefers. Unfortunately he does have the control atm, because like it or not and wrong or right, he's 'supporting' you - he's got the cash layout, so his rules. (You're not married, so you're basically the equivalent of a house guest in terms of your legal rights - you can't really make any claim to anything, the work you put in there notwithstanding.) He's shown his true colors. Get out now and retake your independence - that means get a job and support yourself again and don't fall for any more schemes.

[jns]

A classic control situation. Get out now and find a new bf who isn't controlling (in due time.)

[Sonny]

He's shown his true colors. Get out now and retake your independence - that means get a job and support yourself again and don't fall for any more schemes.

Well said!

The oil on his dipstick is low and black given all the red warning flags.

Clearly he is self-centered control freak with anger management issues.

Bet he doesn't yell and scream at guys who are bigger than him.

So now that her joy ride around the block is over....she shouldn't buy the car.

[jen1447]

Yep. The little ** needs to be put in check big time ....wish I could step into kat's shoes for a day and do that lol.

[Sonny]

Yep. The little **** needs to be put in check big time ....wish I could step into kat's shoes for a day and do that lol.

Your gun to his head would do a lot for gender equality.