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  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    Shoot me if you want, but let's get a little perspective. This is a classic argument that could happen in a five year marriage. My assumption is that your boyfriend is young and lacks the skills to communicate his need for intimacy in a productive way. Men really do need intimacy for an emotional connection. You are unhappy in your role and he is unhappy in his role. Talk it through -- really communicate -- and try to work out how to juggle the schedules. Articulate what would make you interested in intimacy. Don't run away if you can work things out. I will agree with the "pack" that if your boyfriend is unwilling to talk about this or compromise, then be glad you found this out before you became a stay at home Mom with kids.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

    Comment

    • kate61
      Member
      • Apr 2014
      • 44

      Are you arguing about the lack of sex or you not contributing financially. Girl you need some self love. Do your nails. Get your hair done. Put on your mini. Am not saying ook for a man. Go shopping to the movies. Meet the girls and have fun. And in my experience never deny a man sex. I do have my bad days. I lie on my back, moan and groan while half asleep. And let him ride. Start looking for a job and am holding thumbs up for you.

      Comment

      • Something_Awesome
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1219

        I don't necessarily agree with the "get out now" recommendation. Unless I mis-read, his issue isn't the drop in household income, but the lack of sex. Do you see yourself having sex with him if he helped around the house? I am just getting the feeling that there is a communication block. Unfortunately, when arguing escalates to screaming that people can say regrettable things. And it hurts real bad when they do.

        My GF told me the F-word once at me, and I was pretty shocked. She seldom cusses, and I have never used any bad word at her, and I think that just helped make it hurt a little more.

        I'am just not sure we can recommend disolving the relationship without a little more info. This is a big decision. You already left your job, he said he was willing to move for you, and you are living together right now. There is a lot at stake with this decision, and if the underlying issue is your exhaustion (hence less sex), then maybe the recommendation should revolve around resolving the exhaustion.

        Exhaustion aside, do you want to have sex with him?
        "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

        Comment

        • Something_Awesome
          Veteran Member
          • Apr 2014
          • 1219

          Originally posted by kate61
          Are you arguing about the lack of sex or you not contributing financially. Girl you need some self love. Do your nails. Get your hair done. Put on your mini. Am not saying ook for a man. Go shopping to the movies. Meet the girls and have fun. And in my experience never deny a man sex. I do have my bad days. I lie on my back, moan and groan while half asleep. And let him ride. Start looking for a job and am holding thumbs up for you.
          I like this. Do stuff for yourself. And maybe go together. I am getting my first pedicure with my GF this weekend (she always wanted to do it with me, but I've always turned her down because I am hyper-ticklish). Say maybe you think he would be so cute if he went for you (we don't like to admit it, but a lot of dudes like it on the inside when our SO says it would be cute if we did something).
          "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

          Comment

          • MamaaCorydoras
            Member
            • May 2013
            • 32

            This is random, but I think the last thing she needs to be told is to just 'Get out, and move on', sometimes its not that easy...

            I get the same sometimes, I work as a sports coach in the afternoons, and my boyfriend works at a bottle shop, and when we get home at the end of the day he says 'Im the one whos been at work since the morning, you shouldnt feel tired'. I think men have a hard time comprehending that women have feelings. My mother also went through a massive accident. When she was working, my dad would say 'You're never home with the kids' and when she wasnt, it was 'You dont do anything, get off your ***'.

            I think you should try and tell him how you feel (good luck with getting him to listen), and just put out there how you feel what he is doing is unfair and hurtful. At least that way, if and when you make the decision to move on, he cant say that you never attempted to fix anything.

            Hope this helps, all the best!

            Comment

            • kate61
              Member
              • Apr 2014
              • 44

              Originally posted by MamaaCorydoras
              This is random, but I think the last thing she needs to be told is to just 'Get out, and move on', sometimes its not that easy..


              Hope this helps, all the best!
              She is not moving on just getting out of the house. Just wake up on a Saturday morning and make a commitment to be out of the house b4 10 and be out there. Doing chores and staying at home can be tiring.

              Comment

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