[tango1986]

Thank you Baboy, for making me feel a little less psychotic through all of this... He's making a serious effort to work it all out, and has already sacrificed a great deal to accommodate what the relationship needs at this point. However, the last couple of days I've been plagued with self-doubt about my choices and this relationship. All of the instances which he has made morally deficient decisions seem to revolve around sexual release and chasing a thrill. First, he explained that he continued the relationship with the other woman for the "thrill" of it, secondly this is also how he expresses his desire for the panties - it's taboo and "thrilling" and pushes his arousal to the max. He has since also freely confessed - to his credit - that he has also stripped down naked outdoors because it was "thrilling". I fear that in the future if I'm not meeting his sexual needs (or even if I am - he always seems to want more), he will find it outside of the relationship... Or perhaps there are other "kinks" that he does for a thrill that he is too ashamed to admit, and again, will look elsewhere for this release.

I know he is making sacrifices for me, but I also wonder what else he's going to do or has been doing for a "thrill". I have had the last couple of days away to clear my head, and the trust issues run much deeper than I had previously thought. Has anyone had success in relationships rebuilding trust? I have particularly terrible trust issues based on past experiences and am unsure if I can trust anyone, let alone him again. Not a nice feeling. Like I said, I can understand where he was coming from, not telling me about the fetish, but what else is hidden that he's too ashamed to tell me? The distance isn't helping to instill any warm feelings about the relationship either, all we can talk about are the big issues and the panties since nothing can really be resolved. I'm exhausted and I don't know how to move forward.

[jen1447]

Maybe take some time off. Put the relationship on hiatus and set it all aside, focus on you for a while (what makes you tick - what are your hobbies, are you creative, maybe set out to do some charity work so you can see more clearly what else is going on around you while you obsess about your guy and gain some perspective), and figure out who you are again without him around.