[sintia79]

Not at all. But we do have sex less frequently. He seems to avoid it on occasion especially for a day or two after I have spent time with my secondary partner.
This discussion is making me see a little more clearly. Thank you.

[sintia79]

Yes, we agreed that both would be free to pursue other relationships. I don't think I would have done it otherwise. But I would never force him into doing anything didn't want to do. What bothers me is him pretending and keeping it to himself.

[sintia79]

He is a very loving husband and was never in any danger of losing me. I am sure I made that clear and still do.

[jns]

You two should have a conversation about why he kept those secrets.

[effy2014]

In any relationship, communication is essential. Have you asked him why he wanted an open marriage if he was not going to participate?

The fact that he does not want to participate or hear about your participation might lead one to the conclusion that he regrets the open marriage decision. Are you prepared for that?

[sintia79]

I have talked to him. He is says all is fine in his sweet but stoic way. He says as long as I am happy, he is happy but I know better deep down.
If I stop seeing my secondary partner/s, I am afraid he will blame himself. But I think I will stop anyway. We all need to sacrifice in a relationship and I do love him with all my heart.

[sintia79]

Thank you all for the input. I did help organize my thoughts.

[Baboy]

Not at all. But we do have sex less frequently. He seems to avoid it on occasion especially for a day or two after I have spent time with my secondary partner.

If it were me in his shoes, I'd avoid it for a month or two. Or maybe forever. But then, I would never agree to such an arrangement in the first place.

[effy2014]

It seems that your H agreed to the arrangement for you alone. Based on the posts, he never embraced the concept as you seem to have. I certainly would have been crushed to learn that my wife had never been happier and more fulfilled than when she was "released" from monogamy and had lots more sexual companions.

Without sounding pejorative (which is impossible on this subject for me), couldn't the two of you have built relationships with interesting people without an open marriage? I'm with BaBoy on this one.

[sintia79]

I have to agree in hindsight, but at the time, he seemed as interested as I. We live, we learn. We will move forward from here.