The main problem here seems to be that he won't discuss the situation openly.
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Bear in mind there are still other possibilities that may not be so straightforward or fixed as easily as you think. For example he may feel inadequate, in which case, 'sacrificing' for his sake and going back to monogamy would only put him (and his perceived inadequacy) back in the spotlight. Saying "don't worry about it" often isn't enough. You might also take him at face value and believe that if you're happy, he's happy. We all have a tendency to want to think for others but I assume he's a grown man and can decide things for himself.
The main problem here seems to be that he won't discuss the situation openly. -
It's always interesting in these situations to reverse the roles and see if it creates a different understanding. I think the reaction would be much different if the man was having a lot of encounters while the woman stayed at home hoping her man was satisfied with the situation.I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, VirginiaComment
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I agree and that is a concern. But we talked a lot last night. ( after some wonderful love making! ) It wasn't so much him feeling inadequate but that he was feeling that he was being "replaced". I assured him that that cannot happen, that I love him far too much! I will not continue the relationship with my lover and was surprised at how easy that decision was for me.Comment
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I can understand his feelings and he is incredibly fortunate to be married to a woman who put his feelings first.
I hope that the two of you can recreate the feelings of fulfillment that you have been experiencing. Best of luck."The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"Comment
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