[JasonParkins]

I met my girlfriend for her dads 60th in Canada, travelled from the UK to see her.

Hadn't seen her in months but we were literally inseperable every day on the phone/tects etc, literally hundreds of messages each day.

When i arrived there it was like i met someone else. She kinda ignored me alot, spent most of her time with her family.

We met her cousin who is our age, but before that me her sis and mum were standing there and we were taling about him and she said he was SO hot when he was youynger, her mum said "coulda been awkward between you 2 as you didn't know you were cousins until a few years ago" she said "uhhhh im not so sure it wasn't awkwrd lol, we were together a few times but never had sex lol". this was infront of me. Then when he walks in she's jumping all over him and kissing him and holding hes hand and linking hes arms all night etc. She introduced me for a sec then went outside smoking with him laiughing at the top of her voice for 20 mins.

Anyway, we went out on our last night to the bar. the SECOND we came in, this really handsome tall guy spotted her, walked STRAIGHT up to her and said wow you're beautiful. She gave him a smile i've never seen before. I said "I think you have an admirer" and left to the bathroom, i came back and spent most of the night with her sister and dad, while she spent most of the night with this new guy and her cousin she likes.

Now take into account she was the opposite of this person on the phon/text. I even gave her these scenario's before saying "babe id be so embarrassed if you were flirting or totally ignoring me leaving me standing there when we were out, having some guy looking at me thinking "dude if you weren't here i'd SO be getting laid with your woman" and she was like "Don't be so stupid! i'd never leave your side"... so to my shock when all this happened... i wanted to run away.

Anyway, at the end of the night her dad grabbed her away from the guy and i said you sure you're not going home with him? and she said "take me home".

We didn't get a chance to say goodbye, she just kissed me and said see you soon. It was like i'd met a different person, i was heartbroken and devastated.

Anyway i needed to know if she'd cheat with this guy. So i decided to make a fake email address. and email her, pretending i was the guy from the bar. I knew she was drunk, so she wouldn't remember if she gave him the email address. Below (please read from the bottom up) is the conversation she had with "Him".

When we got back, i said "you totally shocked me, you made me feel like you didn't want me there, you should take a week and see if you still want me in your life, you made me feel like i didn't belong there". So basically i told her to have some space for a week to think. She said "i don't want time, i love you and want you". Anyway. I sent the email to her and here's the conversation.

You will never know ;p
Besides we haven't even been on a date yet!? How easy do you think this is?? STICKINGTONGUEOUTFACE lol
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i was SO gonna sneak off with you outta that bar and go back to my hotel room with you lol,
i bet that woulda been fun! not sure if you were wearing anything appropriate under your clothes hm?
From: jasonparkins883****hotmail.com
To: drukenc****hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Hello again Goegrous...
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 16:38:42 +0000

omg i still can't forget that butt of yours! maybe if i were to see some of you again
i might be able to stay an extra day there! omg you make me so excited!
i was lookin in my phone, did you give me your number or did i give you mine? spent aggges looking
and couldn't see it lol
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Lol Well you won't be far in a few weeks, maybe you'll get a second chance? .
I thought you were yummy and charming and I def wish we could have met without my family there. haha

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we''l be in Ajax, Gerogina and Waterloo i think!
i gotta say, it's a shame we didn't have a kiss te other night, i SO wanted to kiss those lovely lips of yours..

You know what i thought of you, what did you think of me then Wink
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Haha Not intentionally. WINKYFACE
And nice words like those, how could a lady resist a reply. ... Coming to Ontario in a few weeks? Where in Ontario are you coming? My bday is in a few weeks WINKYFACE
Sent from my iPhone

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leavin me hangin huh WINKYFACE
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Lol well its all true!
I kinda thought you liked me so im definitely surprised you contacted me back!
Im from Vancounver yep!
U said you're from Ontario right??
Im actually gonna be in Ontario in a few weeks!!

Wow its so great to hear from you again!
Are you single etc? xxx
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.... Love struck... Most gorgeous woman... Amazing... Blushing ********
What a lovely e-mail to wake up to!! SMILYFACE
Of course I remember, you were definitely a refreshing sight to see. WINKYFACE
That's funny about my Dad. I didn't know he was doing that. Lol What were you doing in St. John's anyway? You said you were from Vancouver, right?
I honestly didn't think I was gonna hear from you, so this is a pleasant surprise for sure, Mr Johnson! WINKYFACE
Cxxxx x
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Hello again Miss St Johns!
I figured i left it long enough to contact you without seeming desperate
after we met the other night at the bar!
I hope you don't mind me contacting you, i was pretty love struck from the second
i saw you in there with your family i gotta say!

Was kind of awkward the other night trying to talk to you with ur whole family there
so this is me following up and hoping i don't get rejected by the most gorgeous woman
i saw the entire weekend!
I presume you remember who i am right? lol, we spoke a few times at the bar
and your dad kept trying to pull you away from me hah, cute.

So thats me anyway, just letting you know that i thought you were amazing, and i hope
to hear from you again soon!

Anyway. Aftr this i confronted her. First she said "i knew i didn't give him my details so i knew it was you and i just played along.

After further probing, she said "So what, the guy was cute? i went home with you didn't i? and i told him many times you were my boyfriend"

and even FURTHER probing she said "Ok i did think it was him emailing me, but you hadn't spoken to me in 2 days so i acted single. I was flirting but so what? i avoided hes questions hen he started getting naughty and i never sent him any pictures"?

I thought well you can say that but thats only because i stopped the conversation, you were actually hinting to him that you should meet on your birthday.. after only 2 days of taking some "time" to see if you wanna be with me.

Guys, has this girl ever told me an ounce of truth? who is she...

Sorry it's so long but my life has just been turned upside down.

She doesn't think she's done anything wrong, and that it's my fault for going cold on her, and asking her to take some time.
When i confronted her about this guy contacting her, she said "i didn't give him my info". Yet her first reply was "I didn't think i'd hear from you", does this mean she gave him her last name so he could contact her on facebook maybe?

She said alot of how she acted and the very little time she spent with me is because she was nervous, and didn't know how to act around me??
Please help.

[JasonParkins]

Please remember to read the email conversation from the bottom upwards..

[raindancer]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'll offer you different points of view, just in case.

When you're on the phone, or emailing, it's just the two of you. When you've met, there were other people, other variables. And none of you passed the test.

Her flirting so with another man, before breaking up with you is wrong.

Your behavior may trigger responses in other people. If you were there always with an unhappy, grumpy attitude, she may have reacted to that.

You say when the good-looking guy arrived, you've left. Why? You've left her and went elsewhere, not the other way around.

Haven't you spent the whole time already in an offended mood, moving away, as if hoping she'd be running to you to display some submission?

You're very jealous and she is very flirty. You're incompatible.

I must say, if a man acts like an offended, grumpy person and as if I was supposed to be all the time running after him to appease his bad temper and humors, I'd lose interest. I don't understand jealousy.

edit paragraph

From a distance, it seems to me the two of you will be better off away from each other.

Move on. And next time make it very clear to the other person that you're a very jealous man and need exclusive attention from a woman. You did try to warn her before. Her mistake she didn't take it seriously. Next time, make sure the woman is taking it seriously, to avoid that you travel far to be hurt again.

Good luck.

[JasonParkins]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'll offer you different points of view, just in case.

When you're on the phone, or emailing, it's just the two of you. When you've met, there were other people, other variables. And none of you passed the test.

Her flirting so with another man, before breaking up with you is wrong.

Your behavior may trigger responses in other people. If you were there always with an unhappy, grumpy attitude, she may have reacted to that.

You say when the good-looking guy arrived, you've left. Why? You've left her and went elsewhere, not the other way around.

Haven't you spent the whole time already in an offended mood, moving away, as if hoping she'd be running to you to display some submission?

You're very jealous and she is very flirty. You're incompatible.

I must say, if a man acts like an offended, grumpy person and as if I was supposed to be all the time running after him to appease his bad temper and humors, I'd lose interest. I don't understand jealousy.

Edited paragraph

From a distance, it seems to me the two of you will be better off away from each other.

Move on. And next time make it very clear to the other person that you're a very jealous man and need exclusive attention from a woman. You did try to warn her before. Her mistake she didn't take it seriously. Next time, make sure the woman is taking it seriously, to avoid that you travel far to be hurt again.

Good luck.

your reply is quite insulting to me.
On the contrary, i have NEVER been a jealous man. NEVER. The reason being is that i've never been with a woman who wouldn't think it was wrong to stand talking to a handsome man for half an hour while her boyfriend was standing there chatting to her parents who she brought them to meet.
Any long term girlfriends i've had before had resoect for me. I've had plenty of cases where a guy comes up to my woman and starts talking to her, and i'd leave them to it as i trusted my girls completely that they'd be polite, maybe have a drink and then leave it at that. I promise you. This is the first time i've ever had to deal with this type of behavior. She invited me across the world, to meet her parents, then flirts so much with the first guy who compliments her that she is wishing me and her parents weren't there so she could go back to he's hotel room..

Again, im not jealous, i've just never come across a woman who told me so many beautiful things i wanted to hear from a distance, and then did the EXACT opposite in person, it's crazy.
My question to you is, the way she answered the first message he sent her, was she expecting him to contact her, or had she given him her last name to contact her on facebook?

Please don't ever judge someone by 1 situation. The reason i did this with the email is because i knew there was something wrong.
After this holiday im supposed to MOVE to Canada to be with her, i asked her about it and she lied, so i found out myself and just hopefully stopped my entire life being ruined by a deceitful liar.

Please give me your feedback on what SHE did, not me.

[Claret]

I think we are missing part of the scenario here. How long have you known each other? Was it always a long-distance relationship? What were your expectations when going to this "family" get together? What are her expectations? Does she see the relationship in the same light as you obviously do?

It sounds to me as if she is a flirt and as if she didn't necessarily see you as a permanent part of her life.

I too question your ethics in setting her up. Your best bet would be to be straight up honest with her, expect the same from her, but be prepared for answers you don't necessarily want to hear.

[JasonParkins]

I think we are missing part of the scenario here. How long have you known each other? Was it always a long-distance relationship? What were your expectations when going to this "family" get together? What are her expectations? Does she see the relationship in the same light as you obviously do?

It sounds to me as if she is a flirt and as if she didn't necessarily see you as a permanent part of her life.

I too question your ethics in setting her up. Your best bet would be to be straight up honest with her, expect the same from her, but be prepared for answers you don't necessarily want to hear.

Thats the wird thing. Every single day for the past 5 mins we've been inseperable, she was saying when you come i want you to propose, i love you more than i've ever loved anyone, we're gonna be together forever. We actually said 100% honestly, if i propose are you going to say yes and she said "i don't know how many more times i have to say it, im yours, YES".
literally hundreds of messages and calls per day, everything was ama\ing. She was my dream woman and i her dream man. Then when i arrived, instantly it turned into a "she'd come over to me every hald hour and link my arm or sit next to me for a while, then leave me with someone and going off chatting again".

Seriously, nothing is left out, she turned into a stranger when she arrived.
The fact that i set her up, doesn't take away from what i uncovered because of it does it? She hinted to him she wanted to see him on her birthday, she wanted to meet him for a date. Why are you not saying anything about this.
When i got home we weren't speaking much, but she was still messaging me saying "i love your face, can't wait till november" etc.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Jason,


5 months is not a long time at all to get to know someone especially via text messages/emails and phone calls. It truly is face to face that tells the story.

I don't understand though, how she can invite you over after a 5 month relationship and ignore you in-front of her parents and they didn't step in, well seems that the Dad did in the end, but was that because he thought perhaps she had too much to drink? Putting herself in a dangerous position perhaps, being too flirty.

No offence but at that point, I would have gotten on that plane and never spoken to her again. She was rude, selfish and clearly showed signs of preference. Preferring to be with her cousin, this man at the bar.

Do not stoop to the point of being false. Raindancer may not have made that statement in the fashion here at WH we prefer as we do not judge but your actions is like snooping and always people get hurt when the do that. You already knew the answer "if you love yourself enough" and that answer was, "she" was cold and acted in-appropriately, end of story, she should no longer be in your life.

What did you hope you would accomplish by catching her out, more heartache? See what I mean?

I also think that she has a flirtatious nature but, she also is cold and seems to be able to do what ever she wants and no one stops her (at home), so this is her nature which doesn't suit yours.

If someone gives you words of love, marriage etc and then when you are there, ignores you, then they have to have a side to them that isn't real. Not something you really want in your life is it? You'd forever wonder.

I do also think that your actions of the emails and how you wrote them, was an action you should never do again.. Two wrongs don't make a right and whilst it is harmless it's a straight out lie..

Which is what you are asking us, did she lie for 5 months. Probably not so much in the beginning but certainly not ready for love. She's too flirtatious and not ready to settle at all.

I'd personally, let go and see what else is out there for you, that's more real and closer to home.

[JasonParkins]

Jason,


5 months is not a long time at all to get to know someone especially via text messages/emails and phone calls. It truly is face to face that tells the story.

I don't understand though, how she can invite you over after a 5 month relationship and ignore you in-front of her parents and they didn't step in, well seems that the Dad did in the end, but was that because he thought perhaps she had too much to drink? Putting herself in a dangerous position perhaps, being too flirty.

No offence but at that point, I would have gotten on that plane and never spoken to her again. She was rude, selfish and clearly showed signs of preference. Preferring to be with her cousin, this man at the bar.

Do not stoop to the point of being false. Raindancer may not have made that statement in the fashion here at WH we prefer as we do not judge but your actions is like snooping and always people get hurt when the do that. You already knew the answer "if you love yourself enough" and that answer was, "she" was cold and acted in-appropriately, end of story, she should no longer be in your life.

What did you hope you would accomplish by catching her out, more heartache? See what I mean?

I also think that she has a flirtatious nature but, she also is cold and seems to be able to do what ever she wants and no one stops her (at home), so this is her nature which doesn't suit yours.

If someone gives you words of love, marriage etc and then when you are there, ignores you, then they have to have a side to them that isn't real. Not something you really want in your life is it? You'd forever wonder.

I do also think that your actions of the emails and how you wrote them, was an action you should never do again.. Two wrongs don't make a right and whilst it is harmless it's a straight out lie..

Which is what you are asking us, did she lie for 5 months. Probably not so much in the beginning but certainly not ready for love. She's too flirtatious and not ready to settle at all.

I'd personally, let go and see what else is out there for you, that's more real and closer to home.

What if i'd sent her the email from him and she didn't reply "or said i thought i made it clear im seeing someone?". Thats what i'd do.
Can YOU tell me, noone has. She's sure she didn't give him ger email or info, but do you think she gave him her last name? for him to maybe find her on Facebook etc?
she said "i knew i didn't give him my info". But her reply to him was "i honestly didn't expect to hear from you so it's a lovely suprise". does that mean that she gave him JUST enough info to find her if he wanted to? or did she keep her last name a secret?

I asked "you said you told him a few times you had a boyfriend" but she said "He obvio7usly didn't care as he kept coming up to me, i didn't come up to him" as a defense. But i mean if she was uncomfortable al she had to do was to turn away right?
Also in the emails i asked "You're single etc right?" and she didn't answer. She said she didn't answer because we were on the rocks and she wasn't sure of our relationship status as we hadn't spoken in 2 days so i acted single... what does that say? line by line?
Just as a side note. She said in like a sexy Voice "NO, take me home" when i said are you staying with this guy. And we went back to the hotel and had crazy sex a few times, she kept asking me to have sex with her from behind.

dunno if it's relevant

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Also in the emails i asked "You're single etc right?" and she didn't answer. She said she didn't answer because we were on the rocks and she wasn't sure of our relationship status as we hadn't spoken in 2 days so i acted single... what does that say? line by line?

Purely an opinion... She didn't answer, she didn't say yes either. But she claims that she "acted single" with him.

"i knew i didn't give him my info". But her reply to him was "i honestly didn't expect to hear from you so it's a lovely suprise". does that mean that she gave him JUST enough info to find her if he wanted to? or did she keep her last name a secret?

I gather that you don't believe that she knew it was you. If she knew it was you, then why would she believe you would do something like that? It's not a normal thing for someone to do. She also flirted with two people in front of you and one via emails who ever was writing to her, so do you think she has a flirty nature?

I don't want to comment on your last notation : )I mean, her parents knew that you came to see her, but I will ask, why a hotel? Home would be her parents place. Wouldn't her parents have also worried about where she was?

[JasonParkins]

Purely an opinion... She didn't answer, she didn't say yes either. But she claims that she "acted single" with him.

Confused as to what you're saying here.
I also forgot to mention. She was saying "love your face, i really miss you today, been thinking about you all day" etc.
Alsi a lot of crap has happened, and she always referes to me as her "Happy place" as other stuff in her life is a mess.
Even after i sent this email to her she was saying "you're my happy place and even thats messed up now i don't know what to do.