[atskitty2]

I've always believed so, had many friendships. What do you think?

[jns]

Absolutely.

[Stillness]

Without a doubt. I'm married to my best friend.

If you mean platonic friends, I still say yes. I have some. I do have to admit to being attracted to many of them. Out of respect for God and my wife, I'm very cautious about what I do and say with them. I've seen stuff go bad with supposedly platonic friendships.

[chaya]

Did you mean 'just' friends? In any case, I think they can be friends or just friends.

[atskitty2]

Two single people.

I guess, I'm not really asking. I believe it happens, I have had some great male friends. Just friends.

My friendship tonight sort of went off the rails and I'm not really sure what happened. I am confused, but not really bothered by it.

I think he had more than friendship in mind. Probably wasn't honest about that and maybe tonight he'd reached his limit, I just dont know.
He is a problem solver, as many men tend to be. I am independent, and don't need or want my friends taking care of my business. He just got a bit too personal, I told him, he said he was sorry and tried to hug me...I declined that and probably embarrassed him.

He brought up my painful divorce and my walls and how I should be handling my finances different, etc...
I said I'd not asked for his advice or opinion. I wasnt even talking or thinking of that, & don't know why it even came up. He settled down for a bit, then went right back into the concern he has for me and health and such...and how I should be doing things this way...that way....should let him mow my lawn, etc....random stuff.

I was really uncomfortable so we finished our drink and I took him back home.

At one point during his advice, I reminded him that he does not know enough about my life and business to be offering input on such things, so it's pointless and irrelevant advice and unwanted. I made the mistake of telling him my ex husband was calling me again, and I think maybe that's what turned the tide. I don't even remember.
Was just conversation....about the week and what's been going on.

Anyway. I am just venting. Confused by the turn of events.

[Stillness]

I don't think men and women can be friends like two people of the same sex, even though I think they can be great friends.

I've talked on the phone every day with male friends, showered with them, slept (literally) with them in the same bed, hung out, drank, seen every day, spent hours with them alone, but never once had any confusion about the nature of our friendship. That stuff doesn't tend to work with women and men the same way. Nature doesn't care about what we think and it's not to be messed around with.

I don't spend time alone with women - not for significant periods of time or regularly. I've seen where it can lead too many times.

[Ashlee T.]

A cloudy topic. I don't think it's impossible, but I believe it's incredibly rare for two heterosexual people of the opposite sex to be "just friends" without one of them, at some point, developing some sort of feelings or attraction. But, it's not a bad thing. The best relationship I have ever had was born out of a friendship that went on for several years before turning into more. I couldn't really even fathom it, not with him. But once we crossed that bridge, I couldn't imagine it being any other way. It was awesome being able to skip all that awkward dating stuff.

I think it's clear he has developed some "more than friends" feelings for you. If you're 100% NOT okay with that, it's definitely best to tell him that now. If you're not sure how you feel about it, just try to let nature takes its course and see what happens. :-D

[atskitty2]

We had known each other for a while, had a mutual friend that we usually saw each other thru. That friend moved away, so I decided to continue meeting up for socialising if he'd like. <br />
<br />
I invited him out, so I initiated the friendship, and we talked about it being as just friends, and have since that time as well.<br />
<br />
I think maybe he thought it would develop into more.<br />
<br />
I'm not well, so he frequently offers to help with things, but I seldom take him up on it.<br />
Maybe once, I asked for a hand.<br />
<br />
I've been unable to mow my lawn this spring, and the company I hired, hadnt shown up, with the rain and such.<br />
Well, Sunday my neighbours did it. I guess they got tired of looking at it!<br />
It was very kind of them, and I did not ask for their help.<br />
<br />
Well, "Jim" seemed offended by it. "Well I'm your friend, why didn't you let me do it?"<br />
<br />
I was completely puzzled, & explained again, that I'd not asked or "let" them do it. They took it upon themselves because they hate unkept lawns in our section of the street. <br />
He goes into some rant about how he's told me how many times? To just ask and he will be here in a flash...<br />
<br />
I just don't know...I feel terrible about the whole thing. I don't know if I just overreacted or if he really was being that obnoxious. <br />
<br />
Again, this was all just conversation that turned into crazy. I'd had my back gate broken into, believed to be the escape route for a break in on another street...he launched into a tirade of keeping my doors locked and how I *should* keep a loaded gun and on and on...<br />
I finally told him to stop it. I'm not stupid and I'm not going to do something I'm uncomfortable with...etc.<br />
<br />
He even had the balls to tell me it wasn't right not to take my husband for my "fair share" in the divorce. I told him he knows too little to try to comment on that...he rambled on about all I could've legally taken. I had just about had it.<br />
<br />
Then he said everything is a one way conversation with me and I won't accept help or advice. <br />
I reminded him, again, that I wasn't asking for his opinion or advice. <br />
He said something along the lines of "little miss independent can do it all herself"...I just didnt even acknowledge the statement. <br />
<br />
I decided at that point that he was being a ****, and was ready to go home. I told him nicely to finish his drink and we'd go.<br />
He did. I couldn't get him home fast enuf; )<br />
<br />
It was polite...he invited me in to watch something on tv or hang out, as it was still early. I declined, as I always do.<br />
<br />
It's just very confusing. He's always been opinionated but he took it to another level.<br />
Early in this whole exchange, I said that I realized he's trying to be helpful, but he is offering ideas based on half a story, and he simply doesnt need to know all the details...but he wouldn't stop.<br />
<br />
I guess I don't know if I really handled it so well...I was just caught off guard, and was trying hard not to unleash on him, as I honestly wanted to, but to tell him he was out of bounds without being hurtful. <br />
<br />
I guess bottom line for me is, it made me uncomfortable and I spoke up. If that ****ed him off, then that's ok. <br />
I understand men want to offer solutions and help, and that's welcome. I asked him not once but I think 3 times to stop and let's change topics, but he kept going back.<br />
<br />
Was I overeacting or being too sensitive?

[Ashlee T.]

Hmmm. Maybe a little, but it also sounds like he was being a bit overbearing. I think when a man cares about a woman, he has a desire to do things for her, feels protective, etc. I believe that is a natural tendency. Maybe that's platonic, maybe it's not, or maybe it's platonic with a hint of "I wish there was something more." Either way, I think his desire to do things for you and for you to be safe and taken care of is admirable. It sounds like he's a little frustrated that you won't let him "in", whether that's as a true friend who you feel you can count on, or more than that. In other words, either way it seems he wants more than you do out of the relationship.

[DreamP346]

Not sure if your friend is into you or not. If you said a girlfriend said those things, I would not be thinking she was into you. If a girlfriend offered to cook you food because of your illness, you declined and then told her another friend did exactly that, don't you think she has reason to be unset. Everything you have said sounds like a person who gets close with friendships while you are very standoffish. Pretty much, a friendship would involve talking about your divorce, how much you took your ex for, asking for help with stuff, etc. Basically everything he is offering. You are like me, not comfortable accepting help and not comfortable talking about your personal matters. Basically you have different expectations of friendships. There is a possibility he is into you but based on what you have said, it is not enough to think so.

I have some good male friends that I would completely feel comfortable having this conversation with. Some are gay, one is kind of like a little brother and one is just somebody I feel really close with and know that it is completely platonic. Ironically, I don't think I could develop that friendship now that I am married. I am a lot more standoffish and try to maintain a certain distance with new male acquaintances. I guess things change after being married. Now all new friendships become a couple's affair, meaning the new person will become both our friends.