[Ashlee T.]

Yes..Miss CW you are indeed right. My mom's intentions for me are ALWAYS good. She ALWAYS has my best interest at heart, and I know that without a shadow of a doubt. I have always known it. But at the same time, she is not always right and just because she thinks something is wrong for me doesn't mean it is, and it definitely doesn't mean I don't need to experience it EVEN IF it's wrong for me. She hasn't mentioned this all day. Like I said, I believe she will wait until it comes up again, until she says "what are you doing tonight?" and I am with him. Now...I can lie to her but that grates at my soul and leaves me uneasy and feeling guilty about something I shouldn't feel guilty for. But when I am honest with her, she will be upset...very upset.

I'm just at the stage of beginning to get to know this person. What I have seen from him so far is something that I know if I walked away from, I'd regret. He's in his mid 50's... yes he has baggage...yes he's at a different stage of his life than I am. But through the years, I have been propositioned by many men much older then me....and I've never even given them a second look. But him? He has the sweetest nature and the most gentle and generous heart. I'd always feel like I held myself back from wonderful experiences if I told him goodbye today. I just so hope that my mom can find a way to accept it for what it is and just see what happens. I hate nothing more than the thought of her feeling upset.

[Baboy]

BD, don't let anyone (or negative thoughts) scare you off. Rejoice in the happiness you have found with this person. That can be hard to find.

When I was married at age 20, it was to my high school sweetheart. She was a fine woman. We lasted 20 years. Great friends. No sex. Well, perhaps a few times a year. We both had our careers and enjoyed the fruits of what could be purchased with our considerable combined earnings. That was not enough to sustain us forever. We parted on good terms.

I then had a few girlfriends before settling down with one 20 years younger. She was 23 when we met and had a 4-year-old daughter, being raised by family in a distant land. We had 8 years together. It ended because of her career. She became very immersed in it, to the exclusion of all else. Her great success went to her head a bit. I say that not uncharitably. When we first met she cautioned me that she did not want to fall in love, to be in a relationship, and that she was on a mission to achieve certain career objectives. We had those years together despite the fact that it was against her cardinal rule. I remain proud of her and what she achieved and, perhaps, my limited role in getting her there. I left because I wanted a relationship for which she no longer had time. We still were in love, but there was not enough time together to sustain a good relationship. Since then, her life has changed little. She has had a couple of short-term boyfriends, but nothing lasting, because, I am sure, she does not want to devote the time and effort to build a solid relationship. That's her choice and it suits her.

And now, I am 12 years married to a woman close to 28 years younger. We have an 11-year-old child together. The first for us both. We have sex most days. We have great times together and as a family. We are very close.

No one can foretell the future, but I am not planning a quarter-century period of decay to which rcoreyus has referred. My own parents died in their late 90s and went quickly, a few months apart. They lived in a cared for their own home almost to the end. My dad decided to give up driving at 91, not because he had to, but because he thought it prudent. For all I know, my wife might predecease me. I have lived long enough to see many young couples where, due to accident or illness, one of the two does not live to age 30. I know among my friends a man whose 18-year-younger wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 46 and was institutionalized and unable to communicate with him by age 51. Most would have predicted that she would be the one seeing him succumb. Anything can happen.

Do not let fears about all that might go wrong at some distant date cause you to forsake what might be the best relationship and time of your life. That was what my mother used to call "borrowing trouble".

[jns]

I'm in the age is just a number camp. There are so many other things more important to worry about when starting or continuing a relationship.

[atskitty2]

I fall into the "it's just a number, but" category.
I don't think age in itself is a problem, but its what is generally associated with your age.
I went out with a guy 13 yrs younger and he was a very nice guy. He would be a great boyfriend for someone. But for me, I needed a little more maturity. He was still doing things I am no longer interested in, and had a completely different perspective on things than I do. He hasn't had the experiences yet to make big changes in his outlook on life.
So, it wasn't necessarily age itself but this particular 27 yr old was immature and had very little in common with me.
So, of course I would entertain the idea of dating any age, but realize that large gaps may bring incompatibility that I'm unwilling to compromise on.
So I agree with whomever stated above that you have to consider that but also think of the future if and when the time comes things turn more serious. And knowing yourself and what you need is a big part of that.

[a_dub]

First off congrats to your BF, he's living the dream a lot of men have which is to date a woman a lot younger than our age. I only hope I can be that attractive when I'm 55.

Age is only a number, but how long of a relationship are you planning on having with him? With a gap of 25 years, a long term relationship is definitely going to come with all sorts of physiological issues. As long as you are aware of that and OK with it, then go for it. Who says true happiness has to be found with someone around your age or that it even has to last a lifetime? You only live once, might as well just live life one day at a time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

BD you always follow your heart, though sometimes we really must think with our head, we often don’t.

Your Mother knows your emotions and your reactions and it’s a hope on her end, but given time she will realize she has to change tactics and just “be there” for her daughter no matter what.

So in that, that would be the statement I would make to her 

Goodness, I am typing in word and copy and pasting so I can reply on WH, one day the OLD WH will return to me

[Ashlee T.]

Baboy - what a beautiful testament of living your life, following your heart, and appreciating the journey. Thank you so much for sharing that with me.

I feel that spending too much time worrying about potential future incompatibilities is a fruitless effort. I have certainly dated men much closer to my age who turned out to be terribly incompatible with me. Right now...the present...which is the only thing that I really have any control over at this time, is that this man makes me smile every day. I can only hope that my mother, as time passes, will come to terms with it.

Thank you to the rest of you also. I really didn't expect to get such overwhelming response in favor of what I want. I have always known that when I want level headed unbiased opinions, this is where to come.

[jen1447]

Please keep us updated on how it goes Beautiful, both with your mom and your man. Good luck!

[Pollon]

I have a couple of questions if you want to continue this thread.

What did your mom say exactly? And which parts of it did you disagree with?

And why do you think a man in his 50's would be interested in a woman 25 years his junior?

[jen1447]

She's gorgeous lol ...I'm sure that has something to do with it.