My brother is mentally ill.
He does not think he is mentally ill and therefore is not willing to get help. Short of getting the courts involved and trying to prove him mentally incompetent, there is nothing I can do about it. He is not mentally ill in the way that he would harm someone.
We have always been very different. He has never believed he should have to work for anything and in these last 10 or so years, he simply refuses to. He spent many years a raging alcoholic and after almost killing himself (liver), he stopped and changed to smoking marijuana. In other words, he has spent his adult life self-medicating.
Currently, he lives in a home he is not paying for. He will eventually be evicted. He does not work. He does not drive (he will not fix the flat on the old vehicle he has that already barely runs.) He never leaves his house. Ever. He has no relationships, no friends he socializes with. He had a girlfriend until a year ago and though it was very dysfunctional, he has gotten so much worse since being left alone. Over the past couple years he has developed an obsession with his non-belief of God. It's not enough that he doesn't believe and that his family may not agree (some do) but supports him in it anyway. He is obsessed with continuously making social media posts calling anyone who believes names, mocking them, making fun of them. The obsession has now expanded into politics. It's not enough to hate republicans, now he hates democrats too unless they make horrible derogatory posts like he does. He has isolated everyone in his life unless they are in full agreement with him. He claims to be involved with this group of likeminded others online and he claims he is building this business with them and that the reason he wont work is because all of his time needs to be dedicated to that. (The only reason he is even able to get on the internet is because our mom got him a phone card for his recent birthday.) This is just the latest delusion in a long line of them. But he truly believes them. And he will not acknowledge any of the past ones at all......now, the latest delusion is the only one that exists. My mom doesn't give him money, but he is constantly asking her for food, constantly saying "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in days. My dogs are starving." The answer is "Get a job."....yes...I know that...and so does she....but at the end of the day when he simply WILL NOT....... it is hard for a mother to let her son go hungry.
He is incredibly intelligent. But he is delusional in a way I can't describe. He has zero conscience when it comes to his family, to our mother who has spend the majority of her life trying to make him better. No compassion or love for me, and I have bent over backwards to be good to him and support his every endeavor. Up until a couple years ago he lived with our mom and emotionally abused her on a daily basis. I'm so afraid that when he is evicted, he will end up right back there. And she is a mother.....and she will let him even though she doesn't want him there. But...she's the only parent I have left and she is so deserving of a happy life. It absolutely devastates me thinking of her spending the rest of her life miserable and mistreated in the hands of someone she'd give her life for.
I fully realize there isn't anything I can do about any of this. But it is SO incredibly difficult. I do not know what mental illness he has, but there is nothing "normal" about his behavior and it just continues to get worse. I hurt deeply for him while also being completely fed up with him. Similar experiences, anyone?
He does not think he is mentally ill and therefore is not willing to get help. Short of getting the courts involved and trying to prove him mentally incompetent, there is nothing I can do about it. He is not mentally ill in the way that he would harm someone.
We have always been very different. He has never believed he should have to work for anything and in these last 10 or so years, he simply refuses to. He spent many years a raging alcoholic and after almost killing himself (liver), he stopped and changed to smoking marijuana. In other words, he has spent his adult life self-medicating.
Currently, he lives in a home he is not paying for. He will eventually be evicted. He does not work. He does not drive (he will not fix the flat on the old vehicle he has that already barely runs.) He never leaves his house. Ever. He has no relationships, no friends he socializes with. He had a girlfriend until a year ago and though it was very dysfunctional, he has gotten so much worse since being left alone. Over the past couple years he has developed an obsession with his non-belief of God. It's not enough that he doesn't believe and that his family may not agree (some do) but supports him in it anyway. He is obsessed with continuously making social media posts calling anyone who believes names, mocking them, making fun of them. The obsession has now expanded into politics. It's not enough to hate republicans, now he hates democrats too unless they make horrible derogatory posts like he does. He has isolated everyone in his life unless they are in full agreement with him. He claims to be involved with this group of likeminded others online and he claims he is building this business with them and that the reason he wont work is because all of his time needs to be dedicated to that. (The only reason he is even able to get on the internet is because our mom got him a phone card for his recent birthday.) This is just the latest delusion in a long line of them. But he truly believes them. And he will not acknowledge any of the past ones at all......now, the latest delusion is the only one that exists. My mom doesn't give him money, but he is constantly asking her for food, constantly saying "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in days. My dogs are starving." The answer is "Get a job."....yes...I know that...and so does she....but at the end of the day when he simply WILL NOT....... it is hard for a mother to let her son go hungry.
He is incredibly intelligent. But he is delusional in a way I can't describe. He has zero conscience when it comes to his family, to our mother who has spend the majority of her life trying to make him better. No compassion or love for me, and I have bent over backwards to be good to him and support his every endeavor. Up until a couple years ago he lived with our mom and emotionally abused her on a daily basis. I'm so afraid that when he is evicted, he will end up right back there. And she is a mother.....and she will let him even though she doesn't want him there. But...she's the only parent I have left and she is so deserving of a happy life. It absolutely devastates me thinking of her spending the rest of her life miserable and mistreated in the hands of someone she'd give her life for.
I fully realize there isn't anything I can do about any of this. But it is SO incredibly difficult. I do not know what mental illness he has, but there is nothing "normal" about his behavior and it just continues to get worse. I hurt deeply for him while also being completely fed up with him. Similar experiences, anyone?
I wish I could get her into some therapy. She has accepted a lot of this, just being the way that it is........but it is heartbreaking for me and so I know it must be incredibly gutwrenching for her.
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