[Ashlee T.]

amy40 Honestly, I'm not sure. My gut feeling says he'd just adapt to being homeless. He just adapts to whatever it is. In the home he's living in, he didn't have hot water for a long time and he didn't even care (even in the winter). At that time, he said he'd rather be homeless with his dogs than give up on his "dreams". His dreams at that time were for this atheist org he's a part of online to become big and profitable (ironically, it is a non profit..........). And conveniently, he needed to be home on the internet ALL day every day to make that organization successful. He kept saying, "just wait...big things are coming." but it was just one of many of those types of things he's used as excuse over many years.

It's strange how much he loves his dogs yet treats his family like garbage, especially the person who has so loyally stood by him throughout all his abuse, all his issues, etc. It's like as long as he has those dogs, he doesn't care what else he has.

They live in a very small town. There is no homeless shelter. My mom, all her family and all my dads family live in that area. My family has always been well known and well thought of and like a typical small town, everybody knows everybody. I think it's so embarrassing for my mom to think about him being a homeless person wandering the streets there and everyone seeing him. That's secondary to her motherly instinct of protecting him, but still a factor.

[amy40]

she won't let him go homeless then
she needs to say no on the dogs.....that's extra stress, mess, expense she doesn't need

is there any chance to find another low cost place that accepts dogs?
usually places that allow dogs aren't that nice but it seems that wouldn't bother your brother

that would be better for her to pay the rent than the stress of him going back to her home

[Ashlee T.]

So far, we haven't found anything. Ideally, it would be a little junky house somewhere on some land. But we can't find anything. I have found a few for sale in the $40-60k range and have made the suggestion that my mom consider that option. We know he's going to junk up and not take care of wherever he is living and so if she pays rent for him he's still likely to get evicted once the landlord sees his living conditions. If she mortgages a cheap place, at least he won't be evicted and end up on her doorstep again. I'm not sure if that's a good option, but it seems like the only option.

He has said he'd rather be homeless than give up his dogs.

I agree. Anything would better than him living with her. As of tomorrow though, he will be. Breaks my heart.

[atskitty2]

Oh no BD...
I think with some parents, "no" is just not a viable option. My mom is the same and would do the same. Also with that flavor of protecting our image...or what she perceived to be our good name.

Makes me sick for you to have to watch this. I've resolved that, my parents will never change. Mom will always support my brother, even into his grave if that's what it comes to.

Keep us posted

[jwdcreations]

Have you looked into having him commited to a psych hospital? In my state, it takes 2 adults to ask a judge to commit a person. Usually it's a 72 hour stay for an evaluation.

[atskitty2]

Any update BD?

[Popcorn&Candy]

Obviously, a very stressful situation. I think your mum seems to be handling it well. I realize how stressful having your brother live with her, though: he sounds very difficult. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I hope he gets a new place soon and the help he needs.

Do keep us updated.

[Alison H.]

It is always difficult to watch someone who is struggling this way, especially because you can’t “make” them do what you know would be the right thing for them. They have to do it (and want it) for themselves. But it puts their family and other loved ones in an impossible position — especially parents who want to do whatever they can to help, even to their own detriment.

I really hope that things have gotten better with time.

[eliananelson]

Hey, This is so a helpless situation, I even can not imagine the pain and the situation you are in. Please take care and have faith things will surely turn in a good direction.

[eliananelson]

I don't know much about this. But I feel bad for you, your brother, and your family. This is really a very difficult situation for you.