[redrose32086]

So i met this guy at work. From day one i knew he was married and had a kid. I would never in my life though that i would go out with a married man. Guess what but i did. Now this has been going on for about 1 year. I havent slept with him but we have done other stuff. I KNOW its so wrong for me to be doing this to his wife and i feel so horrible but i just cant stop it for some reason because its hard i see him everyday at work. I hardly get to see him because we can only see eachother when he can sneak out or stay late because of work. I have a feeling when i get married something bad is going to happen to me because of KARMA. Anyways i feel in love when i knew i shouldnt have. What should i do? i feel like a homewrecker. How can i do this to someones family? I feel upset at myself that i even let this happen but im so attached and in love that i cannot let myself go. I have to see him everyday at work. Any advice? im such a bad person.

[ladyd68]

One thing you need to remember is this, you didn't get into this by yourself. He knew that he was married when he started seeing you too. You are correct that two wrongs don't make a right. I have to ask why aren't you interested in any of the single men at the office? I really don't feel that an "office romance" is good for the office. Just when you think no one else is watching, everyone is watching and they are talking too. So, if you have any girls that you go to lunch with or talk too, expect them to keep coming because they want to hear all the juicy details. I would suggest that you end this affair. If not it is very possible that his wife can find out or even that he is fooling around with some other women at the office too. Please don't fall for your the only one because and I've never felt this way about anyone lines. If that was the case then why is he married? We as strong women need to say hey look, I'm nobodies mattress and I am better than the occassional lunch dates and late night booty calls. I want more for myself and I deserve better than this. Hold your head up strong and say no and move on.

[damd]

Well yeah, you are a homewrecker. But you're only 40% to blame here. Help me understand something.... How can you trust a married man? I mean, he is cheating on a person that he has already built relationship with then married, said something about remaining faithful till death do us part and blah blah blah... Now here comes you, and I'm sure he has weighed the consquences out, and has decided to risk his relationship with his wife for a relationship with you. And what type of relationship is it by the way? You talk to him at work, can only see him when he can escape his wife and child... Obviously, their needs still hold some weight, at least more than you do. However, his own desires still overide his morality, which is the heart of my question to you. How do you trust a person whom by the act of being with you demonstrates that he is not trustworthy?

[sourpuss]

You need to end it now.

[redrose32086]

Well yeah, you are a homewrecker. But you're only 40% to blame here. Help me understand something.... How can you trust a married man? I mean, he is cheating on a person that he has already built relationship with then married, said something about remaining faithful till death do us part and blah blah blah... Now here comes you, and I'm sure he has weighed the consquences out, and has decided to risk his relationship with his wife for a relationship with you. And what type of relationship is it by the way? You talk to him at work, can only see him when he can escape his wife and child... Obviously, their needs still hold some weight, at least more than you do. However, his own desires still overide his morality, which is the heart of my question to you. How do you trust a person whom by the act of being with you demonstrates that he is not trustworthy?

you know what every single thing you've told me i agree with 100% and thought about every single day but the hard part is just staying away. i try so much and i fail every single time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Here's the thing.

Your not asking if you should remain.

Your asking how do you end it, his poor wife, we work together i see him every day, etc etc etc

If you think that your mind is in turmoil now, let me tell you, each day and every day, your going to be like heckle and Jekyll, no but i can't, yes, but i must, no but i can't, yes but i must.

Is this how you want your next 12 months to be?

He's having his cake and eating it, "literally".....

He has no problem in the world, unless of course you tell his wife.

Change jobs, get re-located, why give to someone whom is giving to someone else.

Do you like being cheated on? Whilst your not seeing that, but other way round, pretend he is not married, your going out with him, every night he cuddles and hugs another woman, whilst you sleep alone.

No Kama doesn't always bite you back, pends on what you do to change it.

And, no we've heard it all, ask any woman whom has been in your position, the wife and i don't have sex, she's a b....

etc,etc, what ever they can muster up to make you feel sorry for them and that you are the beez kneez to them.

More than likely, he's not getting much oral, nor giving it and good for you, you've provided him with the addition he is missing.

Adventure, and selfishness, is why he is doing it.

CW

[redrose32086]

THANK YOU guys. You guys make a lot of sense. Its funny because I know all this im just and naive. I think i just feel like i cant have anyone i guess? messed up in the head i guess.

Thank again.
Im going to try. Harder than ever this time.

[rcoreyus]

What are you giving him that he is missing from his wife? I think people cheat for a reason. If you understand his motivation, you may understand your own better.

[damd]

There are plenty of people in CA for you to have. It's the most densely populated state in the union.

Good luck to you

[miffed23]

Soooo many women fall into a married mans trap, so dont beat yourself up about it.

The only mistake that the women make, is falling in love with them. Ill swear by my 'home made rule' - that if youre going to involve yourself with a married man, cut all ties the moment you feel any emotional connection with this man. 99% of the time this man is a jerrk,so whats the point in loving someone who has the personality of a witch?

Do what i did, cut all ties, he will probably beg you to come back.....dont give in, give it a month or two are chances are that you wont want anything to do with this man again.

Good luck honey.