[bigbee]

We decided to to Mexico for a little vacation and to reconnect, I will see how it goes. I will try my best to go for councilling see how that goes. If I stay negative and keep thinking of leaving it would not help either, so I am going to try and stay positive and prey to God to bring the flame back.
After all- We are christians and mirriacles do happen.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

bigbee
But the bad part of it all is now I am fat ugly and older

First off, you have to get this part out of your vocabulary. No one is ugly, you mentioned swimming/gym, go by yourself, and older? That's a state of mind, your as old as you want to feel....

So, when he was on drugs, he would dance and dance, non-stop, laugh etc.. So now that he is not on drugs, he is pristine, wears a suit, is obsessed in keeping the house clean, likes things in little boxes, ...?

Drugs maybe to him once, were "dirty" and so he is "clean", wholesome and so sex is "dirty" as well... He doesn't want to go back there, and so, he lives in this "mental world of clean"..

That's a guess above, but I bet in addition when he was on drugs sex was great yes?

So you now have a completely different man. You loved the fact that he is not lazy in that sense, but he is lazy in every other sense, the sense of adventure, fun, fitness....sex.

So, he needs to combine whom he is and who he was and be happy in that person...

He must have hobbies? Even ones he forgot about that he loved as a child... Perhaps work on those together.

His back injuries, foot injuries are not good for the position he has at work, standing all day, it in fact makes the back more painful and probably the foot as well..

He should be in a seated job and one where he can move around, not stay seated the whole time.

If he has qualifications to work as a teller? Then he has qualifications to work within the industry but in a better job for his injuries, perhaps he needs encouragement to find this job.

He may simply, be "living"... instead of "enjoying" life, injuries can wear you down, make you feel will it ever go away?

Your trip to Mexico is an excellent idea. You probably have been there before, but research all that the place has to offer, and to your affordability and ensure you leave little room for sitting watching TV.

Don't go with expectations of sex every day either, that's pressure.. Rather, go with expectations of ensuring you both start laughing and seeing/doing things that make you feel good, smile "together", don't think your fat and ugly, rather a princess and special.. Hold his hand so you have intimacy and he feels that intimacy, so that when you are alone finally at night, hopefully that turns into what you are hopeful for.

Good luck... have fun... and see how it all goes.

CW

[bigbee]

I am so glad I saw this site.
Thank you for reading my story and giving advice. I do feel better and I hope I can do this for other people in future. THANX

[kms]

Sorry to hear about your situation... but just remember that life is far too precious to sit around and waste it, watching it pass you by... sounds like you fell in love with an artificial version of him (pumped up with drugs) instead of the person he really is. Almost as if you're married to a stranger.

You might think about what benefits and drawbacks you get from staying with him - and do the same for the pros and cons of leaving him. Which is more appealing? A clean house or freedom? It sounds like sexual satisfaction is important to you (as it is to many people) - and over time (if not already) you'll only grow to resent and despise him for his selfishness and unwillingness to give it to you. It's not a marriage without sex (especially if that's not what you agreed to!) - you're just roommates!