[MrSaturn]

The inevitable happened. Now she thinks that I no longer see her as beautiful, is telling me that she never wants to show her face to me anymore, and that I should just enjoy pornstars, even sending me links via messenger while I'm at work.

I knew this was going to happen, which is why I refused to give her any names, but now that she knows, she's obsessing over them and comparing herself to them.

I didn't marry her for her appearance, I married her because I thought she was kind, compassionate, and would be a great life-partner and mother. Why the heck do women think it's all about the looks and boob size?

[Little]

Abusive partners, be they men or women, have distorted views not only of reality but of themselves. Please seek legal counsel about this. You have rights to your unborn child along with the right NOT to have to live with abuse.

[Guest]

I'm sorry you're STILL going through this. I feel sorry for your unborn baby. You NEED to get her help. I think another way you can probably approach this is by giving her an ultimatum. I know its probably not the best thing, but its the only thing you have got over her. If she doesn't seek help or clean up her act you need to do something drastic. Maybe if you spent a night somewhere else where you left her alone for a week. Then maybe she would get the hint that you are serious. No more catering to her needs. You have to think of your own as well. This CAN'T be healthy.

And I do agree on getting some records of her being irrational and violent. You need that just in case you wind up in court for custody.

[MrSaturn]

Well, we have a counseling appointment in 2 weeks... apparently that was the closest available time from our health insurer. She's willing to go, even says that she wants to go, but it's so far away. Every day is so long for her and me. Some days she's absolutely fine, and she's excitedly preparing to bake a cake for me on Valentines Day. Other days her memories come back and she's depressed and moping (fortunately no physical violence anymore). Our next prenatal exam is tomorrow at the hospital, but they aren't psychologists or counselors.

Any advice for how to boost her self-esteem in the short-range? She's at the point where she thinks she's not attractive to me, and doesn't want to show her face to me.

[24glenda]

well send her flowers telling her how much u love her and would not chenge her for nobody else.or sing her a song from ur own words,plan a romantic dinner.ect...

[Guest]

Well, that's good that she's open enough to seek help.

I think that maybe you two should visit victoria's secret and buy her lingerie. The usual, tell her you love her and she's beautiful doesn't hurt either. Surprise her and take her out on a nice romantic dinner. All that Danielle Steele stuff should make her feel appreciated and wanted. If you want to do something out of the norm. I say make her a card; i know it might be a little childish or what not, but if she realizes that you took time to make something for her then maybe she'll show you more of the side that you feel in love with. who knows?!

good luck